points: -1

heart attack on a plate

Heart attack on a plate

shopped

by Squidley

submitted April 29th 2012

174 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
heart attack on a plate
tagged:
comments (174)
it's a good day to die
5 years ago
this submission is queso approved
5 years ago
Today's always a good day to die.
5 years ago
really?
5 years ago
ohw didnt see the face but still...meh
5 years ago
I didn't notice that either until you said that, changes vote thought process it does.
5 years ago
Toot Toot!
5 years ago
give a hoot, don't pollute
5 years ago
i gave it an up vote because thats the reason why i dont eat pizza anymore..red meat either!...
5 years ago
a life without pizza is not a life i wanna live
5 years ago
Penis*
5 years ago
Old people....
5 years ago
I'm with SB on this one. I had to give up pizza and red meat a couple of months ago...and smoking, and fried food, and blah blah blah...





But they'll have to pry a fatty natty bottle from my cold dead hand
5 years ago
may Jimmy Fallon die a slow horrible death in front of his family
5 years ago
Why are you giving up red meat?
5 years ago
Because he loves the cock.
5 years ago
I gave it up because of blood pressure.
5 years ago
Is there no cooking method to reduce cholesterol in meat to human safe levels?
5 years ago
lol, isn't that pnk meat smurf?
5 years ago
I dunno. I'm just eating fish and chicken 'til I hear otherwise or stroke out.
5 years ago
fair play, I'll be joining you in hell in the coming weeks. Gotta quit smokes, booze, cheese, all the nice shit before my potential fiance dumps my slob arse.
5 years ago
if you have to "quit" all that stuff for a qua-potential wife - you and your relationship are DOOMED
5 years ago
...but maybe you'll get some anal and a blow-job or two from a semi-hot chick , so carrion
5 years ago
Fuck all that...don't do it for someone else. If youre gonna do it, do it for yourself. And the reason behind that is, at some point down the road youre gonna blame her for making you quit the things you enjoy and youre gonna resent her. Trust me...
5 years ago
dammit poss...you interposting marsupial
5 years ago
:)
5 years ago
If mucho was a life coach, it would probably be the best life coach in the world.
5 years ago
pics or didn't happen mother fucker!
5 years ago
i don't understand the whole giving up red meat and cheese stuff... that's not what's killing you or making you fat. go into chat and have yak teach you the ways of the 'mucho diet'
5 years ago
DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT
5 years ago
* Sporty can't type fast enough for chat and no longer has an "administrative assistant" to do it for him. *
5 years ago
chat isn't moving very fast right now... i guess watch 'fathead' and/or read 'good carbs bad carbs' and you'll get a good understanding
5 years ago
and also chat is for fags and dik
5 years ago
oops... title of the book was wrong... 'good calories, bad calories'. i was close :(
5 years ago
you calling me a fag and/or dik, possum?
5 years ago
Im certain he was calling you dik
5 years ago
dik has longer hair..
5 years ago
i think so too sporty :(
5 years ago
* possum disappears *
5 years ago
when i go pro can i change the color of the pro thing to red?
5 years ago
for a 3$ fee :(
* yak shimmies jewishly *

5 years ago
sporty and mako.. if you guys are having to watch what you eat, i really suggest you buy the book good calories bad calories, take it to your doctor, ask them to read it if they havent, and see if cutting out carbs is something that you should do.. most doctors arent even really aware about nutrition enough.. so they have knee jerk reactions cut this out cut this out... fat really isnt your problem tho.. its your insulin levels
5 years ago
Yeah Im not fat though...I have hyper tension or some shit. But I will most certainly give that book a look see.
5 years ago
we actually got started in the low carbs because my dr had been telling me for years to go low carb. but he started out not in north america, so wasn't brainwashed into the mentality of calories in, calories out etc
5 years ago
SHUT UP AND DIE LKE AN AVIATOR!
5 years ago
if you have hypertension then even more reason...
5 years ago
ok...I just d/l'd it on my fire. Gonna read it starting tomorrow. Thanks for the tip.
5 years ago
he wrote a followup book that is kind of an 'easier read' with less scientific studies and such called 'why we get fat and what to do about it'
id probably suggest that book (basically they are the same things... just good calories bad calories is more of a dry read... why we get fat is a much easier read)
5 years ago
Any suggestions for those of us who can't gain weight no matter how much/what we eat?
5 years ago
i would suggest eating more potatoes, pasta, sweets and less proteins and fats... liquid carbs as well like more beers and sugery alcohols like kahulha and shit
its a lot better to not be able to gain weight than not be able to lose it tho because you are insulin resistant :P
5 years ago
How about lay off simple carbs (chips) in exchange for complete carbs (baked potato). Carbs are your main source of protein, so you shouldn't cut it completely out. If you drink soda, switch to water. Regulations milk, switch to skim (2% reduced fat still has a lit of fat). Take two unhealthy things you eat everyday and substitutes it for something healthy. Jog/Brisk walk 30 minutes everyday. You may burn 300 calories on the treadmill but you're burning 600 within the next 24 hours. (Afterburner Effect). Do that everyday and you'll see significant results. Not that difficult.
5 years ago
Complex carbs*
Fucking phone
5 years ago
wow... I guess you weren't aware that chips(crisps) are made of potato.

Carbs are your main source of protein..

Omfg you fail. You fail so much it hurts.
5 years ago
carbs are main source of energy*
Regular milk*
Goddamn I fail
5 years ago
tldr - has you another beer perchance?
5 years ago
carbs are your main source of protein eh.........
(fyi if you read past that i'll fill you in.. ignore what he just said)
the whole bullshit being thrown around about complex carbs vs 'simple' carbs is ridiculous as well...
wow @ the misinformation.... just stop...

5 years ago
carry on. This might take a while.
5 years ago
fat is a (literal) 8x better form of energy for your body to use (fat has 8times more energy per gram than carbohydrates) if you are eating carbs for your energy.. you are quite simply 'doing it wrong'
CHEERS POSSUM
5 years ago
Im am aware, but they contain high amounts of fat and sodium. You fucking moron. Ask ANY fucking doctor, hell, you don't even need a doctor to tell you chips are bad for you. Jesus..
5 years ago
Much obliged Yak, I'll give it a shot
5 years ago
you have literally no place calling anyone a moron. Ever. Again.
5 years ago
"im am aware"

* possum sniggers *
5 years ago
Fat helps store energy. You only need a little bit of fat in your diet. I made a typo, I meant to say main source of energy the first time, instead of protein. Simple carbs contain more fat than complex carbs. So in essence, you're pretty much saying carbs are carbs and you can eat potato chips all day and receive the same nutrients as a baked potato. Dumbass..
5 years ago
I SAID CHEERS POSSUM
5 years ago
does that mean i have to shut up?
5 years ago
you are completely wrong, fat can be used as an energy source way more readily than carbohydrates without all of the negative effects carbohydrates have on you... noone is talking about nutrients ESPECIALLY FROM A POTATO WHICH LITERALLY HAS VERY LITTLE...
your school of nutrition unfortunately is outdated as fuck, hell you probably believe that the food pyramid is correct.... (go look up who actually invented the food pyramid...)
carbs ARE carbs.. literally.. carbs are carbs... scientific fact... you are comparing something loaded with tons of additives to somethign else (which isnt what a complex vs "simple" carb is anyway dumbass...)
5 years ago
well.. i just took a swig of a near empty beer bottle thats been on my desk for like a week :(
guess i shoulda thrown it out on trash day!
5 years ago
ohw boy
5 years ago
* yak shudders *

5 years ago
on a side note.. if any of you want a super low carb beer... sleemans clear...
tastes pretty much like any domestic i would say (so not great but alright cold).. not sure if you guys get it in the usa tho... i think its like 2.5g of carbs per beer vs a normal beers 8-15g
i only eat about 20g of carbs a day so normal beers are no longer for me! :P
5 years ago
i once swallowed two or three cig butts swimming in a yesterday-beer...i feel yer pain
5 years ago
Just want to add- " ask ANY doctor" appeal to authority- logical fallacy
5 years ago
you ever drink pop that is like old thinking it was new?
i did that once and it had a skin of mold on it :(
5 years ago
What's worse than that is if you've got beer bottle sitting around you're using as a spit receptacle and you drink out of that.
5 years ago
* Sporty shivers *
5 years ago
Hmm, that's why carbs are still the body's main source of energy, I never said fat isn;t used for energy at all, that's quite the contrary. Ok, if carbs are carbs, go ahead and drink your sodas and eat your chips instead of eating, you know, whole grain breads, pasta, oatmeal, rice, broccoli etc..
5 years ago
most doctors here actually will advise you to stay away from carbs.......
low fat high carb is kinda what is making the world fat ;/
5 years ago
Not proud of this, but I pissed in a can of beer once and put a few smokes out in it too. Couple days later, my full of beans younger cousin comes round and takes a thirsty swig of stale piss and cigarette butt cocktail.
5 years ago
Have you ever heard the saying, it's not what you eat, it;s how much you eat? That is what's happening. And it's manly too much fat and carbs. Too much fat in your diet makes you.... fat.. same goes for carbs, calories, sugars etc..
5 years ago
Anyone got a club? Seal?
5 years ago
a tablespoon of whole grain cereal (like say some of that """heart smart""" cereal and shit) has a higher glycemic index than a LITERAL tablespoon of sugar... it is NOT good for you... and broccoli barely has any carbs... as do nearly all leafy green vegetables... they have literally almost none...
do you even understand what a carb is? it seems not
carbs are only peoples main source of energy because they have bought into the same shit you have (wrongly)
try going off carbs (which are addictive) for 2 weeks, substitute your carbs for higher fat things, and tell me the results.
i already know them because i barely eat carbs...
youll have more energy, think clearer, and be less hungry (fat is also more filling than carbohydrates, since carbohydrates are LITERALLY addictive... ever wonder why if you are eating pasta you always end up stuffing yourself? yea thats why)
5 years ago
I was refinishing a stock once, and drunkenly took a good long swig of neatsfoot oil... can was the same diameter as my beer and just as handy. :(
5 years ago
i always get weirded out when im going for a drink.. thinking it will be say diet coke.. and it ends up being water
5 years ago
And yeah, consuming red meat has nothing to do with hypertension.
5 years ago
red meat is actually SUPER good for you....
its kind of a combination of things with your hypertension im guessing
red meat literally has almost all the vitamins and minerals you need to live in it, the only thing it lacks is vitamin c, although some red meat does have that its just low....
that being said, your body really doesnt need that much vitamin c naturally.. its just with the introductions of all these unnatural carbs that your body needs more vitamin c... without carbs your vitamin c requirement goes wAYYYYYY down
5 years ago
I never said cereal when it comes to carbs.. Hmmm.. have you ever heard of FIBER, you know, the CARBOHYDRATE that makes you feel fuller for less food? Jesus man, do your research. Btw, broccoli contains fiber, which IS a carbohydrate (a form of it). Come back to me when you have your doctorate in nutrition.
5 years ago
Women: Supplement your diet with vitamin C rich semen. *May contain mucus.
5 years ago
fiber is a non digestible carbohydrate... read that sentence again
non digestible
5 years ago
btw.. ill just repeat that..
non digestible
5 years ago
Jedi sense detects imminent ban
5 years ago
you do also understand what whole grain bread is made up of right?
WHOLE FUCKING GRAINS

anyhow im done, i suggest you educate yourself with current nutritional information, backed by actual scientific study and not what some math professor wrote in what you know as the food pyramid 40 years ago.....
5 years ago
if i banned people for being wrong about something id be the only one on the site! :P
anyway im going <----- (away from this thread) and gunna drink some more beerz
5 years ago
Fiber is important because it has an influence on the digestion process from start to finish:

Because it demands that food be more thoroughly chewed, fiber slows down the eating process and helps contribute to a feeling of being full, which in turn can help prevent obesity from overeating.
Fiber makes food more satisfying, probably because the contents of the stomach are bulkier and stay there longer.
Fiber slows digestion and absorption so that glucose (sugar) in food enters the bloodstream more slowly, which keeps blood sugar on a more even level.
Fiber is broken down in the colon (the main part of the large intestine) by bacteria (a process called fermentation), and the simple organic acids produced by this breakdown helps to nourish the lining of the colon.
These acids also provide fuel for the rest of the body, especially the liver, and may have an important role in metabolism.
Fiber is good for you no matter what you say.. if it wasn't the doc wouldn't be telling you to eat your vegetables.
5 years ago
hehe being wrong is one thing, but being a stuck up prick closed to the more informed words of someone else is another thing entirely
5 years ago
now this is the last thing for real.
noone here has said to not eat fiber... fiber doesnt actually COUNT when you are talking about carbs or proteins or glucose or cellulose or fructose or lipids or fats or meteorites... it literally gets eaten.. then passed through...
there have been numerous studies (look them up on your own time) that prove that 'slowing down eating' does NOT make you eat less.. and when i say numerous i mean dozens of published studies with hundreds if not thousands of test patients... so.. wherever you are spouting that from is not factual..
5 years ago
I love the way you always conclude your bollocks with some doctor shit. Fuck!
5 years ago
whole grain bread is is actually 43% wood chips and 13% soylent green rejects
5 years ago
CCCCCCCOMBO breaker by poss!
5 years ago
you want a good recipe for 'bread'? for like a hamburger?
2 tablespoons of melted butter (0 carbs)
1/2 pinch of salt (0 carbs)
1 extra large egg (.7g of carbs)
4 tablespoons of flaxseed meal (0 carbs)
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder (.7g of carbs)

Mix together and put in the microwave for 1 minute or until center is set. leave it in the bowl for another minute than turn onto a rack and let it cool.

Once it has cooled take a long bread knife and slice the bun in half and make your hamburger as usual.

DELICIOUS...
and about a trillion times better than any 'whole wheat' bun way more filling because of the fat content too... i can barely finish one hamburger, we just use microwave safe ramikens and put the stuff in and blam
5 years ago
Alrighty, whatever you say
5 years ago
Dam yak...you truly are a god.
5 years ago
who's hungry?
5 years ago
when i learn about something......... i really really really really learn about it :(((
5 years ago
Kill it yak! I can bear it no longer!
5 years ago
MD hath no clue
5 years ago
thats actually what we will be having tomorrow.. paprika burgers... so good..
we had whiting fish today with rutabaga fries and a bbq rub with baconfat and lemon sauce...
holy crap was it an awesome meal
fry up some bacon.. as the bacons frying rub on some bbq dry rub onto the fillets.. put them onto the pan cover it for 4 min.. flip.. 3 more min covered.. take the fillets off take out the bacon and put it onto the fillets then squirt in one lime juice into the pan to deglaze it and pour the sauce over the top
rutabaga fries were just rutabaga cut into fries nuked covered with 2tbsp water for 15min then eggwashed and fried in butter with some ranch dressing to dip
DELICIOUS
5 years ago
Probably not going to get an answer if I ask you to clue me in either.
5 years ago
prolly one of my more favorite meals of the past few months.. but that could be because we havent had fish for awhile...
im still perfecting rutabaga fries... going to make rutabaga poutine soon :P
5 years ago
Still, I like them french fried potaters..

Mmhmmm.
5 years ago
.me eats leftover shrimp scampi and burps
5 years ago
aw fuckucit
5 years ago
missed it by THAT much
5 years ago
bbuurrrrrpppp
5 years ago
I can never see poutine in any normal light again. Unfortunately, my first encounter with it was on mucho.
5 years ago
surely possum is in the age range to get that reference
5 years ago
"so, like, i'm an alien, eh?"
5 years ago
lol.. yea...................... that poutine guy :(
i dont eat potato anymore (way too high in carbs) but rutabaga tastes almost exactly like sweet potato, except its about a billion times better for you and super low in carbs.. not to mention cheap
so.... i have some squeeky cheese bought.. ive been experimenting with gravy non thickened with flour (carbs) using gwar or xanthan gum and ive had mixed success (i always overuse the gwar so my sauce turns more to like... jelly)
im a food scientist tho.. i keep trying things until i perfect it
5 years ago
Im gonna make some sweet potato chips tomorrow.


Just a tid bit if anyone cares.
5 years ago
do you oven bake them?
5 years ago
oh.. do you mean chips (fries) or chips (potato chips)
5 years ago
yes
5 years ago
Fiber comes in two varieties: Soluble and insoluble. Soluble fiber (found in those heart-healthy cereals) do get absorbed into the blood stream and help with cholesterol buildup in the blood vessals.

The general recommendation for carbs is at or just under 50% of your daily Calorie intake, with protein and fat at about 25% (varies depending on dietary requirements for your lifestyle).

Complex carbohydrates require more energy and time to break down into their simpler base units, which means it provides a slower and lower peak in blood sugar.

Fat takes more energy and time to break down than carbs and requires a lot of oxygen, but produces a shitload more Calories when it finally does. Carbs are the body's go-to source for energy because they are easily consumed, broken down and used; however, when blood sugar is depleted (eg with aerobic exercise), the main energy supply falls back to fats. In the absense of both, the body will begin to break down the proteins in muscle tissue to provide energy (the lowest yield).

Carbs are rocket fuel, fats are diesel and proteins are donkies.

In reality, you need all three. The Atkins diet is completely fucking retarded, and the Glycemic Index is severely flawed. I'm interested to know your sources for any science behind eating such low carbohydrates.
5 years ago
This book brought to you by Smerf.
5 years ago
And another country heard from...
5 years ago
* possum passes out onto the the soft keyboard now *
5 years ago
I dig some grilled bacon wrapped filet/tenderloin thrown on the grill with a foil packet of asparagus spears with butter, lemon, garlic, and a bit of red wine in there. Zero carbs / fucking glorious meal.
5 years ago
yak...I'm going to slice some sweet potatos into thin slices and bake them on sheets.
5 years ago
I've heard of arrowroot as a thickener. Not sure if its less carb rich than cornflour though.
5 years ago
Soluble fibre still isnt a source of energy though is it?
5 years ago
sounds good sporty.. i think im prolly gunna do taht with some rutabaga this week... do you salt them or put cinnamon or anything on them? (thats pretty common for sweet potato i believe?)
smerf, pretty much every doctor in canada and most of europe recommends 'diets' like atkins over anything else now,
as far as studies, check out the book good calories bad calories, and the sources list for a well.. ton of studies regarding low carbs
or use google
fat takes more energy and time to break down than carbs because of a persons flawed high carb low fat diet, in the absence of carbs your body uses up fat as its primary source of energy, in ketosis
5 years ago
well gwar is an awwwwwwwwwwesome thickener...
problem is its too good
so 1/4tsp and like.. if you arent whisking like a freak you get lumps
thena solid jelly
:P
its just a matter of me learning how to use it
5 years ago
One of the things that people tend to ignore is that metabolically, oxygen is the primary source of energy in the body. It's the catalyst that is used to change the chemical composition of carbohydrates to release energy from the chemical bonds. With no understanding of the chemical process, you have no control over your diet whatsoever.
5 years ago
it makes me angry when people talk to me about their 'metabolism'....
or because their 'metabolism is slow' they only eat one meal a day and can gain weight...
and its all about calories in calories out...
im just like uh i eat 5 MASSIVE meals a day.. and i lose weight.. i dont move.. at all... stop being dumb :P
5 years ago
Uh, mako? Oxygen is NOT a source of energy.
5 years ago
Ask anyone who has made some assumption about their metabolism exactly what metabolism is. Enjoy.
5 years ago
niether is carbon or hydrogen...
5 years ago
im nuclear powered
5 years ago
Carbohydrates contain carbon, hydrogen and oxygen, true. But the molecular structure acts as energy storage. Further oxygen is then introduced that allows that energy to be used.

Oxygen itself is (as you said) a CATALYST. The oxygen you breath in is necessary for the metabolic process, but is itself not an energy source.
5 years ago
* smerf is powered by beer, beef and rage *
5 years ago
Oh, and potatoes.
5 years ago
Yeah, you know what I meant!
5 years ago
essentially the source of the energy is the chemical bond. Yeah provided by the carb molecule blah blah, we both have the same understanding
5 years ago
I'm fuelled mainly by hydro-carbons, put that in your pipe and smoke it
5 years ago
Metabolically, there is no energy in oxygen.

Which pipe?
* smerf points at the corncob pipe and the briar pipe *
5 years ago
you own pipes?
5 years ago
Yes.
5 years ago
That's sophisticated of you.
5 years ago
I am a surprisingly classy gentleman, but I try to keep that low key.
5 years ago
fact my mom used to collect pipes when she was your age smerf
5 years ago
That's nice. I can't really call myself a collector, I just enjoy smoking them on, occasional.

Yak, that rapecomma is for you.
5 years ago
fuck this thread and all its deliciousness
5 years ago
this thread made me hungry but i didnt read it closely enough to know what im supposed to eat and what im not so im just gonna eat a little of everything as usual =(
5 years ago
I'd hit it.
5 years ago
chugga chugga chugga....TOOT TOOT!!!!
5 years ago
But.. pizza is so awesome.. In moderation of course.
5 years ago
Is this a heart attack on a plate?
5 years ago
i see no plate
5 years ago
One has to assume the slice is going to be put on a plate.
5 years ago
Oh, squidley...

For shame.
5 years ago
you do see the skull in the cheese right squid :(
5 years ago
I dunno, I think he can't even see the reply button.
5 years ago
mystery solved! - squid just needs new bifocals, and all will be well!
5 years ago
SQUIDLEY FIXED!
5 years ago
either that, or years of emotionally painful therapy...we shall see
5 years ago
I saw the skull in the picture. I wouldn't have posted a picture of a regular pizza. Pizza is served on a plate. I saw the skull and since fatty foods are associated with heart disease I called this sub "Heart attack on a plate".
5 years ago
This is the best kind of sub. Several people have voted both up and down and the points equal exactly zero. When a sub causes this much discussion its better than making the muchoworthy list.
5 years ago
stfu you silly old fool
5 years ago
Oh Squidley
4 years ago
Conversations and sub converseations. Very satisfactory post.
5 years ago
I'll eat what I want...........................and die!
5 years ago
that's a pretty tasty looking recipe up there
5 years ago
are you flirting with Toolman?
5 years ago
Haha, the category
4 years ago
recover password
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