points: 32

female catheterization

NSFW

you can find anything on the internet

featuredgross

by drumrave

submitted December 3rd 2011

78 comments
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comments (78)
holy fuck
6 years ago
Oh..I thought it said castration...
6 years ago
I used to have a narrow opening at the tip of my penis. When I was like 13 or 14 I had surgery to widen it (basically it was causing discomfort for my bladder because of the pressure from being squeezed through the narrow opening).

The surgeon basically cut the hole to make it into more of a slit and they gave me a catheter. For the entire week getting a boner was the worst thing ever. Standing up, sitting down, any type of movement hurt and I stayed hopped up on oxycodine.

A week with it on, it was removed in the doctors office. When he was pulling it out, it was the greatest sensation ever. It was like scratching that itch that you can get. It tingled some and when it was out my penis felt so much better.

The next couple of days I had to sit to piss cause blood and air would come out along with trickles of urine.
6 years ago
That was the greatest story ever told.
6 years ago
* drumrave is back *
6 years ago
Medical problems thread?
Medical problems thread.

When I was a wee lad, 4 or 5, I dislocated an elbow three times (2 on the right, 1 on the left) in the span of a few months, all by oddly unrelated accidents. My dad briefed me each time to make sure the doctor knew I wasn't getting the shit kicked out of me at home, but I don't know if it worked. The first two times, the doctor was able to set it back in place on the spot, with very little pain. *Crack* Better.

The last time, we were sent to another doctor, who insisted on taking about a dozen X-rays... for a bone that wasn't broken. As you can imagine, it was a terrible thing to see a 4 year old boy with a bone sticking out of a socket being forced to position his arm in different ways so that a doctor with a decidedly bad Indian accent could run some pointless tests.

After about an hour and a half with no news, he told us my elbow was dislocated and sent us out the door, me wearing a sling. I had to wear it for at least a week, and it was impossible to sleep with my arm rolling around and causing severe pain.

To this day, I hate all Indians.
6 years ago
jesus christ
6 years ago
no wonder drum got offended when i said he had a pencil dick
6 years ago
I can be a wee bit sensitive about my penis
6 years ago
narrow urethra
* jrob2020 chuckles *
6 years ago
I handle packages and package accessories
6 years ago
Yeah, you handle packages alright. I heard you have really soft hands.
6 years ago
Since we're going with medical stories, I had a pilonidal cyst removed last December. They start out as enlarged hair follicles that get impacted and infected, then grow larger and will eventually start draining. Most cases occur right where mine did: on the sacrum, right at the top of the ass-crack. I now have a scar running down my low back into the top of my crack.

I tell people I had a tail removed.
6 years ago
the ginger devil
6 years ago
I got in a fight with my best friend when I was 18 and tried to block his tae kwon do sidekick...with my extended fingers. the shockwave broke almost all of my phalanges (finger bones) and metatarsals (hand bones). I apparantly had mutant healing ability in my youth because all of it healed without pins/plates. I can't bench press because it puts too much pressure on my hand, doesn't stop me from anything else though, like masturbating or playing pc games for 14 hours.
6 years ago
er, metacarpals.
6 years ago
After my appendix ruptured I got a catheter put in. Idk who did it or what the fuck they thought they were doing, but it tore up the inside of my penis. Burned to piss, but it was nothing compared to the tube stuck in my stomach draining the poison out. A week in the hospital over Thanksgiving, and another week over Christmas from the abscess it caused. When they were draining the abscess, I was face down on a table with about 10 people watching. As soon as it started to drain I "excavated." Having a bunch of people watch you shit yourself butt ass naked isn't a whole lot of fun :(
6 years ago
winner^
6 years ago
I also called the nurse a whore for liking to stick things in kids butts while she was inserting a tube through my (not asshole, ass cheek) to drain the abscess. I think she quit her job right then and there. I was pretty drugged up and raging.
6 years ago
There was only one nurse that would deal with me. She was like 6'5" and from Holland or something. She told me that none of the other nurses wanted to put up with my shit, so if I pissed her off I was fucked. She was awesome, wanted to fuck her so bad.
6 years ago
i feel female right now......... ohw ehm not really!
6 years ago
heres mine:when i was around 20 a guy gave me some pills claiming they were generic xanax,come to find out later they were methadone,i took over ten of them not sure how many exactly,i was halucinating seeing shit in trees the cops were called as i was sloshing through a creek mumbling,rushed to a hospital in an ambulance the only thing i remember is the pain of the cathetar,i was told later i was waving my penis at the nurses and slapped my aunt on the ass.....
6 years ago
ohw fuck that hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6 years ago
new winner....
6 years ago
i went in hospital for split intestends the big one i nearly died fuck that!!!!!!!
6 years ago
now thats a good suffering!!!&6
6 years ago
These are some awesome stories. Keep'em coming.
6 years ago
and i still have problems becaurse of it now thats good suffering aint it jrob?
6 years ago
ohw yes!@#$%
6 years ago
but i did find a trick to use when i need to go somewhere.
6 years ago
adult diapers?
6 years ago
YOU JUST GOT SHIT ON!!!!!!!
6 years ago
and your not suppost to be funny?
6 years ago
=[
6 years ago
The only hospital box needs is a secure one.
6 years ago
ohw dont be sad friend your ok.;)
6 years ago
Hmmm Ok when i was about 2 just learning to pee in a toilet plus standing up.. I had my wee little weiner resting on the toilet seat. Well it was a very old toilet and the lid was heavy and not balancing properly. Both the lid and the part your supposed to lift came crashing down with a horrible crash, my penis was cut pretty good there was blood everywhere, plus it was over an hour drive to the hospital..this is probably my oldest memory the funny part was my dad told me to take it like a man and went back outside because he was to busy to be bothered. My mom had to call the neighbors husband to drive us to the hospital.. In the end i ended up with 3 stitches but man did that little fucker bleed..
6 years ago
my day wouldnt be complete without my daily dose of boxlightener
6 years ago
and i will take you with me FUCKSMUGGLER!!!!!!!
6 years ago
* conky curls up in the fetal position and crys. oh the memories *
6 years ago
*cries dammit.
6 years ago
WELL SAID CONK WHAT A STORY!!!!!!!
6 years ago
After my car accident I went to a chrio and they did some electric thing on my back to help for muscle spasms and to heal to tissue or something.

The next day I wake up and I'm feeling really bad. I started puking up everything. To the point where only acid was coming out and burning my esophagus.

My abdomen started to hurt so bad that I couldn't move or do anything. So I called the chiro and was like "wtf?" He asked me where the pain is and what not and said I should go to the ER cause it sounded like appendicitis.

So I go in and am kneeling over in pain and they do the check in and they are asking me all these stupid ass questions. I brought up that I talked to the chiro and the thing they did before and they laughed at me and was like 'yeah cause chrios know everything.' I told them "This is not a fucking joke and I'm just trying to give you all relevant information."

They admit me and get my insurance and shit and I'm there like 30-45 minutes before they finally give me nausea meds and morphine. They take me back to do a scan and said everything looked fine that I probably just strained my abdomen whilst puking.

Worst day ever
6 years ago
Transcutaneus neuromuscular stimulation, Drums. That's probably what he did.
6 years ago
I've broken 8 out of 10 fingers, including a compound break of my right pinky.
6 years ago
Oh yeah? Well I got a paper cut.

On my penis.
6 years ago
hi smerf
6 years ago
The catheter coming out was one of the worst sensations I've ever had. Both times. Felt like something had broke off inside for a day after. But going it was oh so sweet. But this video just brings back bad memories of when I was taking care of my grandma in her last year. Not pleasant mental images.
6 years ago
going in*
6 years ago
Kirk, did you ever get out of that wet paper sack though?

When I was maybe eight my parents took me with them to some random persons house and issued the edict, go outside and play. Who knows what they were up to in there? Anyway I'm standing around picking my nose and I see some other bored kid and we decide to go looking for some action Beavis and Butthead style. Eventually we found what I can best describe as a heavy drilling weight standing up on end. Imagine a large acetylene tank filled with lead, maybe 800 pounds? Being geniuses, and realizing we could only rock it maybe a quarter of an inch each per shove, we decided a tandem effort would produce the best results. So he pushes, then I push.. back and forth. This motherfucker is falling over if it takes us all day! Now, I realized beforehand that one of us was going to have to get the hell out of the way pronto at some point, but failed to calculate my oh shit backward leaping capability against the height of the object in question. In short, it fell my way, the leading edge crushed my big toe flat like a pancake and my foot was pinned under it. Random kid goes and tells, and my pop shows up pissed. Grabs my leg and jerks it out, pulls off my boot while I'm crying like a bitch, and tips it up pouring out like a cup full of blood into the gravel. Went to the hospital (and I still remember this) after getting some shots in my ruined toe and sitting on the crinkly paper exam table, there was a sheaf of plastic bags hanging from the door knob bearing the hospitals name. High as a kite I asked my pop what those were for and he said, "Well, if you fuck yourself up bad enough, sometimes they have to amputate your head, so they give you two of 'em. One to carry your head home in, and one to cover up your stump so you don't scare the other patients on your way out."

True story.
6 years ago
^Insert paragraphs
6 years ago
^He crushed his toe and his father made a stupid joke. The end.
6 years ago
Figured I'd sum it all up for you--I'm pissed off I read it.
6 years ago
roland - when does "the Twelve" get released?
6 years ago
I'm still working on it..;p

6 years ago
fuck you no way
6 years ago
wtf does my fingers have to do with a wet paper sack?
6 years ago
One time my mom, sister, and I went on a long road trip. Some time during the course of this trip I had to piss right then and there - no time for pulling off the interstate, I had to use an empty bottle which my sister held for me as I attempted to ring it. Apparently I have no hand-eye-cock coordination and end up spraying everywhere like a stray fire hose, which only ended when my sis grabbed my mini dick and put the squeeze down to cut the flow. Shizam! Two weeks later and it still stings when I pee.
6 years ago
You were trying to punch your way out, and were horribly disfigured as a result?

Also, with zero "insider info", I'll lay a twenty on Brady as Bono.
6 years ago
Naw, a number related injuries from sports and work during college.
6 years ago
P.S. Fuck you Zeke. At eight years old I had the integrity to treat the staff respectfully, and to not shit on the exam table. What's you're excuse?
6 years ago
*your
6 years ago
Roland, I don't think he was trying to shit. I think it just happened because he a problem with that.

According to his mom, he wore diapers until he was 10.
6 years ago
My excuse is that it was the natural response to draining an abscess since I hadn't shit for two weeks while a "specialist" was just telling me to eat metamucil, and I was drugged up on morphine and don't remember much.
6 years ago
...and I wore diapers until I was 10.
6 years ago
oh and fuck you too Rolando
6 years ago
Well I couldn't take a shit for two weeks once after surgery, and it was fucking horrible. I didn't have any abscesses to drain though, so I just had to clench and grimace it out...
6 years ago
Pull-Ups..
6 years ago
The problem was the metamucil
6 years ago
it was quite possibly the most "epic" shit I've ever taken, even apart from the fact that I was face down naked in front of strangers
6 years ago
While working at the Connally Unit (Texas Max) a fucking wanna-be pistolero wanted to prove himself to the older prison gang members around the yard and stabbed me in the god damn stomach with a reinforced sharpened piece of plastic. That shit hurt!

After seeing my own blood poor out of me like a spigot, went into a white knuckle rage. My memory is a bit hazy of the event but I broke his collar bone in 3 places, collapsed his lung, detached his left ocular retina and beat him to a blood stump with the rec yard's metal trashcan
6 years ago
I 'liked' the first part.
6 years ago
as did I, when your appendix ruptured
6 years ago
Epic thread ^
5 years ago
i thought it was a horse at first
6 years ago
good times...
6 years ago
HEY JIMJONES....PROBLEM????
6 years ago
soooooooo, at 3:00 they were catheterizing a gorilla?
6 years ago
recover password
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