points: 1

Steven Hawking

Yo momma is so.....no wait I can't beat that

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by sergeant-taco

submitted October 11th 2009

83 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Steven Hawking
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muchoworthysmerf
not muchoworthy
comments (83)
Is it sad that I got the joke without having to look it up?
8 years ago
Yes, because only nerds know the speed of light...
8 years ago
2.9979 x 10^3 if you want to be a little more accurate. Physics was a long time ago, so I can't remember the rest of the digits off the top of my head.
8 years ago
well..i am physic. so that joke made me smile.
8 years ago
2.9979 x 10^8 m/s, to be more accurate.
8 years ago
damn..i didn't catch that one. shame on me..
8 years ago
and you say you are physic...
8 years ago
The other half the joke would be that your mom is a black hole... not just the speed of light.
8 years ago
wow, xho! you gotta be some kind of genius!
8 years ago
ramass, i am still a ongoing physic. and i tend to overread things.
8 years ago
The word is physicist. Not physic.
8 years ago
my english sucks..
8 years ago
You just suck full stop
8 years ago
you wish
8 years ago
Also, everything has the same escape velocity.
8 years ago
what are you talking of? the escape velocity of an object is determined by the weight of the object holding him down. so the escape velocity for an object on the moon is lower than on earth and that is lower than on the sun and that is lower than "on" a black hole.
8 years ago
Everything *on earth* has the same escape velocity (ignoring wind resistance), which is the second part of the joke. Unless his mom's on the moon or in a black hole.
8 years ago
Your mom's black hole is lovely.
8 years ago
wanko you fuckn idiot! you don't get the joke! every piece of matter attracts every other piece of matter. big pieces have bigger attraction towards smaller pieces which need a according escape velocity to leave them. so if your mother is ridiculously fat that the escape velocity to escape her is greater/equal than/to the speed of light she is a black hole.

fuckn MORON!
8 years ago
now that i think about it you won't even get it now. all help/explanation is to late for you.
8 years ago
btw i think the smallest possible mass to lead to a black hole is 4,3x sun mass.
8 years ago
I read "the" surface instead of "her" surface but you're still gay so it doesn't matter.

It would be funnier my way. It doesn't make total sense as it is.
8 years ago
that joke is fuckn genius. she is a black hole! she is fuckn fat. so fat that she will absorb/eat everything around her without anything having a chance to escape. and so she will become even fatter. it makes total sense.


there is no joke your way.
8 years ago
why am i even writing to you?? i cannot be sure that you can read what i write or even understand what i am writing about..
8 years ago
If she's a black hole in space then how can she breath or wear shirts with her gut hanging out or get fucked by niggers? It makes no sense.
8 years ago
haha

Wanko you just got pwned.

I didn't think jerk new anything.

Seriously jerk, I always had you down as a moron. My apologies.
8 years ago
*knew
8 years ago
Pwnd!
8 years ago
I still think it's funnier the way I read it. She's so fat that it's impossible for her to leave the surface of the earth.
8 years ago
...but this way actually makes sense.
8 years ago
your view of the joke implies absolutely no knowledge in physic. which is kinda funny.
she is a black hole. she has something that could be called atmosphere(the schwarzschildradius). so there is air around her and she pulles everything towards her, so she gets enough penetration. her looks don't matter cause you can't see her.

no problem, oj. i know the phenomenom. if you read something with really bad grammar and spelling you automatically think that the person is a moron. hard to fight that.
8 years ago
oj, it would be the earth that wouldn't be able to get rid of her / leave her surface. so he still doesn't understand anything.
8 years ago
posted a comment but it doesn't pop up even after refreshing several times, so now i hope that that won't be a double post fail. here is the actuall comment.

it would be the earth that can't ger rid of her / leave her surface. which would be also funny but it also shows that wanko still doesn't understand what he is talking about.
8 years ago
damn! i knew it!
8 years ago
The escape velocity from earth is like 30,000 miles an hour or something. So this lady is so fat that she somehow requires a higher escape velocity and that higher velocity is faster than light, so she can't escape the planet.
8 years ago
I dunno I just don't think it's funny to call her a black hole in space... it seems too detached from her being someone's mom.
8 years ago
The jokes not funny anymore
8 years ago
ok. last try. look, wanko if she weights more than the earth and so has a greater force on the earth than the earth has on her, than its the earth that needs a velocity to escape her. if she moved she wouldn't even realize dragging the earth behind her. like you don't realizing dragging some tortilas with you between your fat rolls, if you ever moved.
8 years ago
I didn't say she was more massive than the earth, just that she's so fat that she needs a higher escape velocity. If you want to put a rocket in space you need 30,000 miles an hour but this bitch is so gravy-filled that you need some amount greater than the speed of light to get her ass into space. Not because she's more massive than the earth, but because she's so fucking fat that the rules just don't apply. That's what made it funny to me, that she's so fat that order breaks simply breaks down.

And fuck you cheeky, over analyzing a joke is like half of what british people call humor... or humour.
8 years ago
no rules broken here. escape velocity is directly linked to mass of the object. so a higher escape velocity on her surface implies her heigher weight.

but hey! if you bother to write anything else you win! i will give up and give you the intelectual win in this conversation. no matter what you write. i just don't want to lose any more brain cells..damn..i allready lost a lot here and you might actually learn something, so i allready lost..
8 years ago
wait a moment! i just remembered something. 30000miles/hour?! ARE YOU NUTS?! its 11,2km/h!
8 years ago
damn. i fail. 11,2km/s. there was one thing you had right.
8 years ago
For fuck sake Wanko, stop it!

Have you been taking some dumb pills or what?
8 years ago
11.2 km/h would be pretty sweet. We could just put that jasper fag on a catapult and send him off the planet.

Jerk you're not getting what I find funny in my misreading of the joke. I understand physics, that's not the point.

"Chuck Norris is the densest element known to man. 1 pound of Chuck Norris weighs 10 lbs."

Same idea. It's funny because it defies reason.
8 years ago
its astonishing how clear you can express yourself from times to times. so its just our different sense of humor. thats ok then, i quess.
8 years ago
11.2 km/s is roughly 25,000 mph, you're both close.
8 years ago
30,000 was something and I can't remember what and I'm too lazy to find it.
8 years ago
Leagues under the sea maybe.
8 years ago
Your jokes are so dense they don't matter.
8 years ago
11,2km/s is the exact velocity. i am not close.
but just for understanding 30000 are ok.
8 years ago
Stfu Wanko, and die, you fucking bag of gorilla cocks.
8 years ago
If I were a bag of gorilla cocks you'd be paying 10,000 yen for me and a bottle of lube at the squinteye market.
8 years ago
lol
8 years ago
Pfffftt, you are both fucking stupid.

I would never pay more than 5,000 yen for a bag of gorilla cocks.
8 years ago
he looks way past dead
8 years ago
But he's not. If he was we'd stop having to look at shit like this.
8 years ago
he lives in a country where the health care system allows him to live. that country is England.
8 years ago
cc, i think if he would die we would have to watch a lot more of things like that.
8 years ago
People will care far less about Hawking dying than they did Michael Jackson.

I fucking hate people.
8 years ago
Wankers
8 years ago
Hawking doesn't entertain them.
8 years ago
He should release a christmas single
8 years ago
Grab his crotch.
8 years ago
Molest children.
8 years ago
I saw Hawking blowing Saaanta Claaus underneath the missletoe last night.
8 years ago
Funny how child molestation shit always comes up when the english are talking. Kiddy fiddling, what?
8 years ago
I say!
8 years ago
....or when people are talking about Michael Jackson.

Coincidence? I think not!
8 years ago
Michaels Jackson must be English.
8 years ago
We don't want his sort!
8 years ago
Jolly bad show....
8 years ago
cues up "Fiddle About"
8 years ago
Why doesn't he just go back in time and fix his broke ass?
8 years ago
That's illogical
8 years ago
He can't get his wheelchair up to 88 miles per hour.
8 years ago
Time to replace his flux capacitor
8 years ago
Does someone have a crush on this guy???
8 years ago
Who doesn't? He's a pimp
8 years ago
*gimp
8 years ago
*super star
8 years ago
Stephen Hawking is so ugly, his nickname is "Daaaaaaaammmmmm!"
8 years ago
*crickets*
8 years ago
Sawbuck: been here since 2005...comment count now at 10...

11 comments too many
8 years ago
recover password
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