points: 0

Police solve case of missing bacon!

I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

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by Jones

submitted September 5th 2008

94 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Police solve case of missing bacon!
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muchoworthynot muchoworthy
comments (94)
WTF, did she eat it raw? He couldn't smell 5 pounds cooking?
9 years ago
Who keeps 5 lbs of bacon on hand?
That's gotta be like 10 packages.
9 years ago
Holy shit. I wake up when I smell bacon
9 years ago
wakey wakey eggs and bacey!!!
9 years ago
No one is commenting on the fact that it was "5" pounds of bacon. Do you realize how much bacon that is?
9 years ago
less than six?
9 years ago
More than 4, definitely.
9 years ago
A snack with 5 lbs. of meat? WTF!
9 years ago
Was that the weight before or after cooking?
9 years ago
I think it was after digestion.
9 years ago
Ah, a good Thanksgiving-dinner-sized dump.
9 years ago
The shit that can launch a thousand ships
9 years ago
It sinks them.
9 years ago
i gotta say it, pussyhands...you fuckin pussy! you would'nt understand, but only a man could have 5 pounds of bacon!!!!
9 years ago
and I wake up to the thought of smelling bacon. I'll eat a pound of suasage or bacon or hamburger for breakfast. Problem is I gain more weight from beer and not much. You fuckin pussy fags.
9 years ago
p.s. not including the eggs, or bread, or noodles to go with it. I am scrawny as fuck. Also, you are all pussies.
9 years ago
Five pounds of bacon is a fucking lot, even for a fat bastard like me.
9 years ago
I make 400 pounds of bacon with my wife all the time.
9 years ago
Pretty certain nobody would want to eat it though. Except maybe Dik.
9 years ago
I really want to type some really funny quip involving pigs but i'm too drunk to be bothered. If i did though, it'd very fucking hilarious....

It's good to know the police are on the case & we can all sleep soundly in the knowledge that our bacon is safe.
9 years ago
Man, what kind of fat ass was that women?
9 years ago
michael phelps
9 years ago
Look in the mirror Ms.Duff! Aren't you from Grand Rapids, MI?
9 years ago
Apparently Vicsin and Apathy eloped...
9 years ago
and by the way msduff...she must have been a big ass woman to be confused for women...
9 years ago
Woman, women, whatever. I know the difference. And no I'm not from MI.
9 years ago
if you knew the diff...then correct yourself like all the other typo freaks out there...or we will all think you are an illiterate fuck...thanks so much!
9 years ago
I tend not to look over my comments. If you wanna think of me as an illiterate fuck, then please do.
9 years ago
Thank you for the permission...in the future I will maintain my position of you being too lazy and illiterate to correct your cheap derogatory comments...
9 years ago
Unless you are a drunk/drug addict and then I will withdraw my assumptions and presume that is natural...
9 years ago
BTW...you must admit after the forementioned reply that you are either a drunk or crackwhore in order to deserve such dismissal of grammatical error...
9 years ago
^I actually had to type that in becuase I dont want to be two faced...cause Im a drunk and express it freely when I make a grammatical error...just for the record...cant you tell...Im babbling for no apparent reason...
9 years ago
Right, keep on drinking.
9 years ago
You too, crackwhore...
9 years ago
Aren't you that emo fag that everyone hates, so you made a new account?
9 years ago
Ive had 3 accounts...for your info "family matters"...
9 years ago
But I aint no Emo...
9 years ago
But you are a fag?
9 years ago
keep on fapping...
9 years ago
Keep on sucking dick.
9 years ago
I will as long as "keep on sucking dick" means having a wife and fucking her gently through the night...means the same thing captain bullshit...
9 years ago
^^internet hero...
9 years ago
"fucking her gently through the night"?...fag
9 years ago
He meant makin' bacon.
9 years ago
Gentlemen keep your focus on bashing the attention whore.
9 years ago
Ya mention bacon, and it throws everyone off topic.
9 years ago
Awwww, making bacon through the night.
9 years ago
Gently making bacon
9 years ago
fuck gentle, rough it up to the point it becomes pulled-pork barbeque.
9 years ago
bacon gets my testosterone a flowin
9 years ago
What a prick. Oh, and you spelt "because" wrongly.
9 years ago
You know, you might want to say who you're talking to, pepper.
9 years ago
Yeah...cause Im confused...
9 years ago
they found the bacon...but not tupacs killer...shame
9 years ago
Tupac is alive... n00b.
9 years ago
fucking mud shark!
9 years ago
5 pounds of bacon is worth more than Tupac's life.
9 years ago
So is the plastic bag it came in.
9 years ago
calm down, Chris Rock
9 years ago
yeah, and tupac's life is worth more than 50 cent's life...but not much. My vomit is still worth more.
9 years ago
You don't see the connection? Pigs... Bacon... You get it?
9 years ago
i know hes alive hell be back 2014
9 years ago
I wake up when the pollocks next door are running around naked in their house making babies.

How can he sleep for bacon?
9 years ago
heh heh. polish folks are dumb.
9 years ago
So are fish.
9 years ago
I think pollock are the main ingredient in fish sticks.
9 years ago
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.
9 years ago
5 pounds? Holy Jumping Tiger Piss
9 years ago
holy fucking shit piss dumping I would divorce the bitch not for stealing all that bacon but for becoming a fat ugly slob after eating it all!!!
9 years ago
^Great comment. I hope we can count on this type of quality from this recent pile of noob.
9 years ago
michigan is a battleground state too. that's just sad.
9 years ago
Doesn't say it's from Michigan.
9 years ago
Let's just say it is. Since the only other Grand Rapids I can think of is in the neighboring state of Minnesota.
9 years ago
if it was the MN one, it'd be Backbacon
9 years ago
i think Backbacon is Canada..i may be wrong...
9 years ago
"Canadian" bacon is the nearest you Americans ever get to proper bacon. You're really missing out on the good stuff.
9 years ago
ever been to northern MN? you'd swear you were in downtown hoserville...eh?
9 years ago
MN is god's country. Fuck off, you heretics!
9 years ago
I can see the clog in her heart begining to grow.
9 years ago
thats called 'love'
9 years ago
vicsin eats atleast 50pounds of bacon each night
9 years ago
pre-digested by plantshit
9 years ago
thats good eating
9 years ago
Who came over in the middle of the night to eat the bacon with her?
9 years ago
If I'd have known about it, me.
9 years ago
there's a restaurant here in Michigan called 'Tony's' in Birch Run that makes a BLT on Texas bread using at least one pound of bacon, if not more..they are famous for large quantity meals..eat some, you have enough for the next two meals..then they give you a crap load of wrapped hard candy with your doggie bag...
9 years ago
reminds me of the time I had a giant buffet at a restaurant in the big city. When i was finish it cross my mind that my dog has´t eat so i thought my dog wanted some, so i asked the waitress, can i take some food with me. She said no , you eat then you go. Well then i filled my plate with lots of beef. Then did go outside and bring my dog to the table and let eat it. two seconds from the dog sat on the chair and eating the beef. Lots of people start screaming,, get the dog out of here . I stand up and said, Shut your whore mouths and let my dog eat finish or the one that want to stop my dog from eating
takes one step forward and fight me . I'm calling the cops some bitch said. Yeah sure, you can´t doing anything on your own you old worthless scank . Then a minute later the whole restaurant was involved, and still no one willing to fight me, then my dog finish the meal and we walked away to people screaming "you´re an idiot" and some dudes throw his food and soda over me. Then i said thanks, my dog will have that too.
9 years ago
someone taped that too, i have search regularly for years but the videos does´t seam to have been uploaded on any sites. If anyone find the video, please send me the link
9 years ago
ur the Man Planty!!
9 years ago
U R*
9 years ago
Big deal, there's a doughnut shop in Portland that sells a maple bar with bacon on it.

There's a diner in Seattle that sells an 18 egg omelet.

There's a truck stop in Liberty, WA that sells there food in full, half, and quarter sizes. Most people can't finish the quarter size.
9 years ago
Correction, make that a 12 egg omelet
9 years ago
place in kentucky deep-fries breaded footlong hot dogs...plants? gots you a Visa?
9 years ago
fat fuck.....id laugh if she really isnt thou....maybe shes like 120-130lbs and has a really HIgh metabolism!!!::shrugs::
9 years ago
recover password
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