points: 2

The Console Wars

An unbiased and exquisitely researched report on the lamentable state of the current batch of consoles.

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by chairman_of_the_bored

submitted September 7th 2007

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muchoworthyMetalFace
tr_willk
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comments (0)
I laughed here and there. Good shite.
"Higher definition bitch!"
10 years ago
Pretty funny
10 years ago
Who gives a shit. Pinball rules!And not on the PC.
10 years ago
my toes tickle when I wiggle them!
10 years ago
NOTHING beats a good game of hearts. And by that I mean four people who know how to play sitting down and doing so with a deck of cards.
10 years ago
A circle jerk would be better.
10 years ago
Wanko knows where it's at.
Playing with a rock is fun too. It gets more exciting once you get it painted.
10 years ago
you know what's fun? playing with a handgrenade. that's awesome!
10 years ago
What is it with Brits and video games? Is it because the weather is crummy roughly 300 days a year?
10 years ago
I like playing with myself. I always win!
10 years ago
lol dizzy was the shit....ok im a bit of a console gamer....and i will say that the new metroid is awesome an re4 for the cube is a good rebuy...i owned a ps3 and sold it...and well i love my 360 for live and rainbox6 both vegas and black arrow...and well say what you will about halo3 but i love that game...and ask me what my live name is and i will meet you on the feild of nerd battle..
10 years ago
*re4 for the wii
10 years ago
yeah i dont really play fps anymore, i prefer strat games from turnbased (heroes of might and magic) to rts (like old total annihilation)... i hear that bioshock is supposed to be really fun (as far as fps goes)
so far as far as new consoles go, none of them have sold me... i play guitar hero on my ps2 tho ;/
10 years ago
bioshock is pretty good...real slick and creative. i got really sucked into oblivion, and well i have yet to play a bad might and magic.
10 years ago
i dig guitar hero i really enjoyed elite beat agents...the first one from japan i just got through the mail osu! tatakae! quendan! it fucking nuts. def worth checking out.
10 years ago
Guitar Hero? I say fuck that damn orange button! Fuck it right up its stupid ass!
10 years ago
Psh orange is nothing. We need a vid of one of those dude 5* jordan
10 years ago
You see, I played guitar hero once. On expert. On the hardest fucking song. I scored in this upper 70's. I will not play again, because there doesn't seem to be a point.

I have a real guitar.
10 years ago
haha guitar hero seems like shit to me.. a little fake guitar with 5 buttons? come on!! not tried bioshock yet. oblivion is awesome(if you have enough time to spend on it), and RE4 was oke, except for the squeeky voiced spanish midget.. MGS4 will rock. i might buy a PS3 when the time's there, and it's worth it.
10 years ago
but ofcourse bitcho took his hardearned whoring money and ran off to the store on the release day, and bought one, and is now sitting at home for about half a year, thinking "what the hell am i supposed to do wit this thing, it doesn't even have real games out? i could've just bought it a year later..
10 years ago
"
10 years ago
I have a WII and a playstaion 2, I Like them both, but I play the Wii more than any thing, My playstaion 2 is nt connected to my Tv
10 years ago
Oblivion is a life sucker!


Rurik, I saw that video. That guy is an asshole! How the fuck are you supposed to hit all those buttons that fast! Im sure i just suck at it. Have you seen that little 8 year old play on expert? That little kids a jerk too.
10 years ago
the wii only has a handfull of games but the ones they have that are good are awesome the new metroid is one of the best fps i have played...fuck the ps3 all the games are coming out for the 360 plus live is the shit.
10 years ago
how do the new metroid controls feel?
10 years ago
you liked it?
10 years ago
i always read borracho5000 comments to the voice of Wilford Brimley, and todays comments made all the more funnier...
10 years ago
"ok im a bit of a console gamer... and I got diabetes..."
10 years ago
"They can help you live a better life"
10 years ago
borracho must never change his avatar
10 years ago
i have thought about switching my avatar but i knew people would get pissed i have this great one of a tiger eating a girls pussy. the new metroid is fun it takes a bit of getting use to but its as tight at you can get withouth having a mouse and keyboard.
10 years ago
Borracho, My handle is OPP4 on the LIVE. I went out and bought a 360 just for Halo3. All i have is Gears of War and Oblivion right now... And all i really play online is Star Wars Battlefront for the OG xbox.. hahhahaa.. man i love that game.
10 years ago
cool once i get my net up and going ill hit you up. my handle is corrival. i have gears, and yeah halo 3 is going to be nuts.
10 years ago
4 player co-op bitches!
10 years ago
a bad case of gremlims. thats funny stuff
10 years ago
PS3 owns all!!
10 years ago
Its true, but there arent enough games for me to want to buy it. and Xbox sucks balls, its only for newbs who are too drunk to play regular games. Manhunt rules all. hehe.
10 years ago
Yeah, and they're getting rid of the backwards compatibility on the PS3, so snatch up a 60GB one soon, since the 80GB wont play PS2 or PS1 games.

Fucking ass-hat bastard faces.
10 years ago
live is what its all about...mgs4 thats coming to the 360..sony doesnt have shit! and well i have yet to play a nintendo system that sucked
10 years ago
DS is kinda lame, never really played it but it looks like it.
10 years ago
na the ds i a ton of fun..its kinda gay, but fun. i ditched my psp for a ds.
10 years ago
I had a ds but I gave it to my little brother. I like my psp way more.
10 years ago
You can play the original DOOM over Xbox live... nuff said
10 years ago
..so?
10 years ago
COMMODORE GAMES?!! How old is this fuckwat?
10 years ago
The original NES is still the best console ever made.
10 years ago
I have the original Nintendo, Super Mario 2 is the best. I have the original Colleco too. I used to have a Commadore 64. God, I must be old.
10 years ago
One of my favorite games was super mario 2 as well! :) Along with the ninja gaiden games, tmnt and of course Zelda 2.
10 years ago
I got really good at beating super mario 2. I think it took me about 11 or 13 mins to beat it.
10 years ago
I used to have a Sinclair Spectrum. Manic Miner was fucking ace. The new consoles don't have the basic playability anymore, it's all show. Rarely use a console nowadays.
10 years ago
Fuck super mario 2. If I wanted to throw turnips at fucking retard animal things, I'd go to a farm.
10 years ago
Fireballs and hammers - that's where it's at.
10 years ago
Oooo ladypele visits mucho AND playes videogames? I hope your a girl... And your hot... And you live by me.
10 years ago
hahah.. hooting dickholes... we have those here too.
10 years ago
haha cool man
10 years ago
uhh...all i heard was dickhole.
10 years ago
Puh, finally a vid without vomit!
10 years ago
Get...OUT!
10 years ago
i love this guy... i think i saw that there is an entire website of shit this guy reveiws and such.... but im too lazy to go find it......

oh.. ya... and since the market follows the money, i got my money on the wii.... that thing is nothing but profit for developers and nintendo.... esepically since there are more wiis out there than 360's even tho it had a year head start.... thats just sad microsoft.....
10 years ago
it's called zero punctuation, by yahtzee.
10 years ago
Woo, Army of Darkness!
10 years ago
Never Played the game but I like the movie, LMAO through the whole movie.
10 years ago
Alright, listen up all you primitaves. This is my BOOMSTICK! Its a remmington double barrel single action shotgun. Retails for about $109.95 and can be found in the sporting good dept. at your local S Mart.
10 years ago
THERE IS NO GAME!
10 years ago
It was "primitive screwheads", as I remember.
10 years ago
THERE IS A GAME!! I have it. There was actually 2 games.

And he does say primitive screwheads at times, but he also just says primitives.
10 years ago
THERE WAS NO GAME!
10 years ago
goddamn, are they really that cheap in the states? (neglecting the movie reference) a 110 bucks? that's nothing!! i wish i had a gun(for hunting and target practice)..
10 years ago
Actually, it should be "All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up!"
10 years ago
IS TOO!
10 years ago
Evil Dead: Regeneration, for the original xbox. Look it up El Spanko. I think the other game was for the PS one or two. But that game sucked so bad nobody wants to remember it.
10 years ago
There was no game and I will be lobbying the government to pass a law that will make it illegal to say that there was ever such a game. Because if there had been one (and there wasn't), it would shame the proud Evil Dead franchise and cast doubt into Ash's loyal followers.
10 years ago
Did i just hear a plane fly overhead? Is your name Tattoo? Cause i could swear your livin on fantasy island!!!!
10 years ago
Video games bore the shit out of me.
10 years ago
Get some of that on video?
10 years ago
you're probably as good at it as my mom, hank ;P
10 years ago
Hey! At least there was a picture and reference to shit and chips....for all you members of team shit.
10 years ago
IT WAS A RED RING OF DEATH
10 years ago
Contra.


thats all i need to say.


you cant name any game from ANY Era that can top it.
10 years ago
ikaria warriors 2.
10 years ago
Super Contra.
10 years ago
Boooya!
10 years ago
Fuck Contra. METAL SLUG Boyeeeeee!
10 years ago
ok ok ikaria is up there.. so is tmnt the arcade game but only old school can compete with old school.. fuck new games anything past super nintendo and sega genesis is shit.
10 years ago
man.. i remember when road rash first came out for the genesis. Talk about an all nighter.
10 years ago
Half-Life 2
10 years ago
recover password