points: 1

Be More Like Jesus

It sadly make sense... We suck.

featuredcool

by KaKaFiYaBaLL

submitted July 28th 2007

127 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Be More Like Jesus
tagged:
votes:
muchoworthytr_willk
not muchoworthy
comments (127)
Dam Satan you sure wrote a hell of a postcard.Now shove it up your asshole..
10 years ago
seriously
10 years ago
Yeah K-Billy,lucifer would only write something like this remember he is a liar and likes to talk shit about jesus..
10 years ago
dont clown on the homeboy jesus you fucking prick!
10 years ago
BE MORE LIKE JESUS BROCCOLI! You think Christ would of called someone a prick, you fucking tightwad!?
10 years ago
Ha! Bicho is a happy clapper.
10 years ago
I am not involve in any religion,I am not a religious bible thumbper I think for my self however why write shit about someone who has not cause harm to anyone and just left behind words of wisdom to save me from my sins..oh Jesus I think I can feel the POWA..ALLELUYA...
10 years ago
If being like Jesus made you a X-tian, I would have no trouble watching porn on cable television.
10 years ago
The words are "Power" and "hallelujah".
10 years ago
{The power and the healing of Jesus Christ the lamb of GOD..Let the spirit of the lord shed his blood for my sins..amen.} Now that I am done I can continue with the slaying of you motherfuckers..
10 years ago
Now that was quite amusing.
10 years ago
Indeed.
10 years ago
hahaha this so needs to be glued all over those fancy "contemporary" churches
10 years ago
GOD ISNT REAL!!! EVOLUTION ALL THE WAY
10 years ago
Darwin believed in God. He was actually going to college for theology when he got interested in biology.
10 years ago
Right, but evolution doesn't fit within a Bible literalist's world view. In a word: Incompatible. If you are intelligent and take the Bible as a moral guide (a poor one at that) and believe its contents are of a more allegorical and metaphorical sense then you could fit evolution into your world view.
10 years ago
the bible was written long ago to keep control of people for them to do the right thing without telling them or forcing them. Today people use the bible in churches to get money for their own self. They say if you dont go to church you go to hell which is complete bullshit there is no heaven or hell. I think when you die its like before you were born you cant remember that. If you read about evolution and science you will can see that its complete bullshit to say god said let there be light and there was light. He took a rib from adam and made eve wtf see thats because dumb people wrote that shit and people that believed were stupid back then. but this is just what i believe.
10 years ago
Jesus is the sun; The bible is a rip off of a pagan religion that the Egyptians believed in which consisted of the Sun "The son" being the giver of life because it was what brought them vision from the "blind" dark and protection from the predators and what not. look up a video on Google called zeitgeist it is some of the craziest shit ever.
10 years ago
well jesus is gonna die 4 billion years from now
10 years ago
woah now it's simple..Jesus was a carpenter hippie who started a new cult in Roman times. Instead of countless gods you give a goat to, just give your foreskin to one, easy enough..you won't even miss it. In return this 'God' gets to do with you as he will
10 years ago
^i dont believe in any gods, evolution.
10 years ago
smerf, sorry but Darwin believed in God only because, like most children, he grow up to believe in what his parents did. He was atheist for most of his life and died an atheist. And he lived when it was much harder to proclaim atheism than it is today. I still strongly suspect that others (Newton, Priestly etc) were 'closet atheists' who kept their feelings private for fear of excommunication from the community. Likewise with Einstein - his (and others') quotes that appear to support theism are either taken out of context or wholly fabricated.

The Christian lobby in the US is also very fond of painting historical monsters as atheists to show the proletariat that atheists are bad. Hitler (the Roman Catholic) is a prime example.

Oops - went on a bit.
10 years ago
iFuckNuns, you are absolutely right. Jesus IS the Sun. And, just to add a little fuel to the fire, if you match Jesus' Year Of Ministry with the Astrological Map Of The Heavens, you'll find that his 'life' matches the 'journey' of the sun through the cosmos. He met the fishermen during the Sun's rising-in-Pisces, got baptized during Aquarius, destroyed the Harvest Market (when it was finished anyway) during Libra (the weighing scales) etc.

Derk, Jesus as a person didn't exist.
10 years ago
Okay, just to rant for a bit...

There is no reason a belief in science/evolution should negate faith in a higher power. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about these fuckwits who believe what they are told by their clergy and throw the Bible around like it's the word of God; I'm talking about someone who has a brain and also has faith. In whatever.

See, it's like this. Say I'm a scientist who believes in God (I'm not). I believe that a benevolent, big, goofy fucker shat out the universe because he thought it would be cool to fuck around with. Great. For that god to manifest its will on this physical plane, there must be a process. The natural processes scientists are uncovering are nothing more than the mechanism by which God works his will. Everything requires a process.

So while I don't believe in this God character, I do believe in a unifying order to the universe that I think most sense and many mislabel as God. But believing in this in no way undercuts the belief that rational science as a system can give us many answers about the universe we live in. The two notions are not mutually exclusive if we can pull our mind out of this "us versus them" mentality and just use our brains for a bit.

Thank you.
10 years ago
ladies and gentlemen...Balls_Malone....
10 years ago
myself..i'm comfortable not understanding everything. everything will never be explained.
10 years ago
Exactly, and that's the beauty of it. Every answer opens up at least one more question. Our monkey brains aren't meant to understand everything.
10 years ago
Hey Balls, can I name your entity Ralph?
10 years ago
I don't know about that, it makes me think of King Ralph the movie. How about... Vern.
10 years ago
The idea of a conscious, sentient being that created us and everything else is what I believe to be unlikely. It seems to me that instead of God creating man in his image, it was the other way around. The natural processes that exist don't seem to me to be likely to be any being's way of working it's influence on us. Just what was the origin of life as we know it? Well, that remains to answered. I, too, am comfortable not knowing everything. But, I see no reason to create a creator.
10 years ago
most of science is based on excepted theories. whats to say that what we see and understand is real. evolution makes a lot of sense to me. in a few hundred years i think the human race will be dead anyway.
10 years ago
Hank: I agree. The idea of a sentient creator is ludicrous. But I think most of us have a real sense of an order to things, that eerie sense we get when some coincidence is just to fucking out there to believe it was chance. My faith in these things goes deeper, but this is not really the forum.
10 years ago
Oh, and boboafro: thanks for attempting to regurgitate grade 4 science for us, that was helpful.
10 years ago
hey balls fuck you. i started all of this conversation god wouldnt have told you to write that if i didnt start this with a comment so fuck you.
10 years ago
Yeah, well fuck you too. I wasn't responding to your attempts at thougt. Go piss around with bicho some more, you fucking moron.
10 years ago
* thought
10 years ago
God says that you should hate but love balls malone your going to hell for not believing in a higher power
10 years ago
(The funny thing is: I didn't notice bobo had started this thread because I don't generally read his posts, having shitcanned him as a muchotard a while back.)
10 years ago
i fucked your ,mother and put her in a shit can when i was done with her
10 years ago
There we go. That's what I've been expecting from you, bobo.

Sit Ubu sit.
10 years ago
i like turtles
10 years ago
Good dog.
10 years ago
do you have a life besides muchosucko
10 years ago
look up a video on Google called zeitgeist
10 years ago
Ah, the old "I'm not really trying" play. Yes I do have a life, it's a good one, and I fit Muchosucko into its corners. And think on this: while I give my comments my best, I don't really give a shit. Same as you. And I just owned your ass completely, so what does that say about you?

I'm done with you now.
10 years ago
^ @ bobo
10 years ago
so you have no life
10 years ago
Balls - This 'cosmic order' you seem to believe in does have a valid basis. Although like most of you I find the idea of a God like character quite ludicrous, I do believe there is some kind of order whether it be simple physics or whatever...

Something you will find interesting is the golden number/ divine proportion/ Phi...whatever you want to call it, either way do a bit of reading about it (even on wikipedia) & youll see
10 years ago
I'm a Phi afficionado, Oranje. Even got books on the Divine Proportion. And I thoroughly enjoy them and my books solely about the Fibonacci series. But,as you pointed out, it's really all about physics and not a sentient being called JHVH.
10 years ago
god dammit I missed all the convo in here...and Para: I'm just trying to rationalize all that Jesus shit. I don't believe in god or religions, I personally think they're a construct of the human mind; something to satisfy our want to know what happens after death and make sense of the unexplained. Either way..he COULD have been just some hippie carpenter who made up HIS god shit...and the foreskin thing was a joke you know, cuz he's a Jew
10 years ago
oh and whoever all was talking about a being creating us and the mechanics of the universe...I've dabbled a bit in theoretical physic s..since Physics is basically the meat of my future career. Anyway I watched some type documentary on what we don't know about the universe, and it turns out that scientists have found a number accurate to 48 places after the decimal...they called it the Universe's constant I believe it was. If this was off but just a fraction our universe wouldn't be the way it is..the mechanics wouldn't be there. I believe that the universe was created from the concentration of light....I figure that matter is just concentrated light, so once this light became so dense it went pop and the "big bang" was created spewing out all sorts of matter all over the place. The universe is constantly expanded (so we think) thus I believe that for time to stay constant the speed of light has to change slightly..time and light are related in my mind. Love to discuss this further but I've rambled and forums aren't the best place for this.... Instant Messaging anyone??
10 years ago
oh ...it was 4.8*10^12 ...that was the constant
10 years ago
Or could it be that the speed of light is constant and time changes slighty?
10 years ago
Or time and the speed of light are variable and darkness is constant?
10 years ago
Woo hoo! That's it! I've found the secret of the universe _ darkness is the constant and everything else interacts with it.
Where's my Nobel Prize?
10 years ago
time is just the changing of energy, but if the universe is always growing, for light to get to the far reaches in the same time...it would have to get faster just a little. It is something physicists are looking at, apparently the speed of light has increased somewhat in the past I dn't know how long. Apparently time slows down by 1.5 seconds or something the higher above the earth you go. They had a digital watch in a plane and in a car and anyway the one in the plane was like a second or two off from the one in the car..I'm can't remember if they had a certain amount of time they had to allow elapse or what
10 years ago
I did have some ideas linked to the dimensions (1D, 2D, 3D, 4D) but it also linked time and energy as well, myself and another guy doing the same course were pondering it
10 years ago
well I guess you could say that darkness is default..that's what it would be like if there were no light energy anywhere...pretty interesting too..light acts as a wave and as a particle. It moves in small packets of energy, photons I think they're called
10 years ago
No no no! Everybody is always trying to find the answer through time and energy, but darkness is the truth. It cannot be changed, darkness is always dark. The answer to everything, my friends, is on the dark side. No one will ever change my mind on this. Einstein? I've shit him!
It will be forever known as The Fuggles Theory.
10 years ago
I appreciate your sense of humour Fugs but I'm actually interested in having a serious discussion about this...
10 years ago
Humour?? You must be a Brit. But all joking apart, if you could work backwards from something to darkness you would be able to work out the physics of just about everything. It sounds easy, as in start with water, work back and take out the heat you get ice. A bit of calculation and you find out what heat is, and does. Start with light, work back, and with a lot of calculation, you will find out what causes it and why.
I'm still sticking with the Fuggles Theory though: )
10 years ago
I'm from Canada, a Brit once removed...well in theory it would work BUT...you can't take AWAY light. You can't gradually remove light, it's basically instantaneous. Unless you can calculate how fast light discipates and stops when you turn off a light it wouldn't work..now that I think about it though isn't it weird how light just goes away instantly..no light hangs around. As soon as a lightbulb is off..the light is gone..there's never any left over anywhere. Curious.
10 years ago
"The bible was written to control people." Who the fuck knows what the bible really said? It's been documented well enough that various versions of the gospel have been changed through history to either make it more contemporary or to suit a political purpose.

My little addition to the discussion: As the radius of knowledge grows, so to does the circumference of ignorance.
10 years ago
Also, it's the Fuggles Constant, not theory, sorry too much beer. The removal of light gradually may be possible it's just that we haven't got there yet. Anyway, bedtime, I must go and study some more darkness.
Goodnight all!
10 years ago
haha that's true COTB. You have anything to add to this universe topic? But you're right..it's been translated into so many languages and there HAVE been fuck ups...there was on in an early Spanish version I believe it was...er Latin...either way
10 years ago
Nope, Darwin was never an atheist. In fact, in an interview near his death, he was asked if he was one, and replied that he never denied the existence of God.
10 years ago
^ so he is an Agnostic then which is a Atheist that doesn't deny the "possibility" of there being a god.
10 years ago
O ya and all that shit about Jesus being the sun and shit is on a movie call Zeitgeist on google.video
10 years ago
I know I came in a little late on this conversation. But there is a wonderful little site called Exit Mundi. It lists all the end of the world scenarios and I find them all to be quite a wonderful read. Here is the address.
http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm
enjoy
10 years ago
Jesus Christ, 100+ comments and still no blasphemous remarks.
10 years ago
ok. And? Hmmm.... I guess he forgot about how Christians also help the homeless, where most people just walk on by. And how they reach out to people in prisons, which by the way, most ordinary people dont fucking care about. And how they help fund orphanages, especially ones in third world countries... Wait. Hold on one sec, what is this blowhard complaining about again? Was he raped by a priest or something?
10 years ago
Once again KB you have proven that the church is an instrumental part of feeding off the masses to generate wealth.
To go on, no consumer based business can turn a "profit" with out showing something tangible, ie producing a product.
Your Homeless shelters and orphanages are prime examples of "the product."
10 years ago
What the hell are you talking about supernova? Are you really trying to suggest that Churches CREATE homeless people so they can help them to show a product and turn a profit? Look I dont like the church as much as most people. But these are not bad, greedy people. Well most of them anyway. Overall this is not a greed driven organization, but one of love and faith. I have seen too many examples of people just giving up shit and being selfless and helping people so there is nothing that you or anyone can say that can change what I have seen. This argument you have is a stretch my friend.
10 years ago
like.. like a limo?

i like turtles!
10 years ago
My father is a protestant pastor and volunteers at the local prison to minister to people.
10 years ago
Well, there is the side that religion is a means to control the masses, and I generally don't care for organized religion, but I though I'd throw this anecdote out there. My best friend is from Sri Lanka, a primarily Buddhist country, and he said the Buddhist monks, and what not, never did much of anything to help anyone, but the Christian missionaries and Sri Lankan Christians would build schools, etc...and try to help people out. Now, one might say they're just doing it to increase their fellowship in their own self-interest, but he thought much more highly of the Christians.
10 years ago
K-Billy...do you REALLY know what Mother Theresa did? I'll give you some info...she kept the poor, poor. She did it cuz that was the way she thought one should worship CHrist, through the way HE lived. SO..all those homes and churches would just take peopel in and basically she created massive places where the poverty stricken could die together, wasn't she grand?
10 years ago
Your mixing average joe christian who may very well be generous and all with christian leadership that is a facade to hide their evil.
10 years ago
Well said Derk!
10 years ago
^thank you. The sad part is, the Vatican has hid all that and she's a "Saint" now...what'd she do? She basically STOLE money from umm Uganda? Some poor country, and she claimed she took it from their corrupt leader and gave it back to them..no..she went back to India and started those poverty-camps.
10 years ago
I heard this quote not long ago "Standing in a church makes you a Christian as much as standing in a garage makes you a car." Most who claim the faith are hypocrites. People will always corrupt any institution, religious, or otherwise, based on greed and control. The Catholic Church church leads the pack under this pretense. Saying that, I know a guy who moved his wife and daughters to China to help the locals with agronomics and such. Another "Christian asshole". Maybe if he were sawing someones head off with a steak knife it would be less objectionable.
10 years ago
I heard this quote not long ago "Go fuck yourself"!
10 years ago
Wow, intelligent comeba... Ehhh.. not gonna waste my time on this douche.
10 years ago
So Rolland, you are confirming my point...
10 years ago
It was created on greed and control, not corrupted.
10 years ago
It definately was greated for control, it GOT greedy and then the greed and control corrupted it. The Graet Schissm split it apart in the 14th Century with Luther's 95 thesis. I dislike all religion cuz all it aims to do is tell you how to run your life according to some set out thing. There's an easier way...do what makes life grande for you and others without fucking othe r people over
10 years ago
Yeah, that's what I do. Except I fuck people over.
10 years ago
@ super Yeah, I guess this should have been a reply to the above thread and I'm not even really sure what my point was other than that for every thousand people doing negative things under the guise of religion, there are a few doing something positive. Ha Ha.. and by positive I wasn't referring to the steak knife part.
10 years ago
Did anyone look up a video on Google called zeitgeist? It was interesting.
10 years ago
Well its 1 hr 56 mins....ahhh dont know if I could do that.

Give me a quick brief - whats it about, points that are made & and bias involved in the production & if it sounds interesting ill watch it.
10 years ago
Infact ill even watch it if its 100% biased and irritating..like the time I watched '100 reasons why evolution is stupid' made me so angry I had to watch it.
10 years ago
Well, I watched it last night. Once you start you'll probably keep going. The first part is about how Jesus is really the sun and the whole christian mythology is really a rip-off of early Egyptian religion which was just an astrological allegory. Very interesting. The second part is about 9/11 being a set-up. Interesting/convincing. The third part is about how how all recent (20th century wars were caused by the international bankers/the US Federal Reserve and the military/industrial complex with the ultimate goal of world domination. First part most interesting, most logical. Second part interesting and compelling. Third part second most interesting and scary. (Wanko would probably dig on the 3rd part.) The whole thing is done very well and it's an interesting watch. In fact, I think I'll watch the first part again right now to refresh the points.
10 years ago
Watch it.
10 years ago
wait is this a post secret thing?
ha
i did one of those
10 years ago
Yea i'll be like jesus, I'll fucking talk about how im the son of god then start a cult and change the face of the entire war and be the main cause of millions upon millions of deaths world wide.. OH LORDY LORDY JESUS LOVES ALL THE CHILDREN... fucking religion
10 years ago
god, you don't have to be so negative.. jeez!
10 years ago
FUCK typo *world not war
10 years ago
FUCK replyo*
10 years ago
if God is such a teddy why did he create us just because he had boring. And if i created us in his imagine why did he flooded the world when he is like us. If god is so great why did he created the world instead he could have made us in heaven . If he is so great who created him?. I didnt choose to get born , as far as i can see is god is a evil tyrant so why should i worship him. Then i dont know if he even exist.
10 years ago
all good questions plantshit. personally i don't believe at all but i do think some things out of the bible are pretty good guidelines as far as how to treat other people go.
10 years ago
Someone made a fortune off of that book...
10 years ago
...Bet they made more than J.K. Rawlings...
10 years ago
whom ever "they" are.
10 years ago
I like the part about smashing babies against rocks. Ooo, and if a gang of perverts shows up at your door, tell them they can rape your virgin daughters, as long as they don't bother the guests.
10 years ago
whomever "they" are sure did live a long long time since the bible is spread over thousands and thousands of years.
10 years ago
i was one of 'them'.
10 years ago
you mean the virgin daughters vic?
10 years ago
i hate religion so much. cause of so much war, so much anger. sure, it brings many people hope and inspires them to live a so called 'pure' existence, but we've only got one life and why suppress and censor ourselves by living by sets of ancient rules. Maybe i would have more respect for religion if there were only one, but there are literally thousands of religions, whose followers are each convinced that theirs' is the right way to eternal happiness. Think for yourselves people!
10 years ago
Aww, you must have contracted herpes or the clap Ben? Is that why you hate religion sooo much?
10 years ago
nah dude, I think I just explained why I hate religion so much. If you're a religious fella then fair play, each to their own I suppose, I just think it's a waste of life
10 years ago
My question to the guy who designed this card is, "What do you do then?"
10 years ago
The pretend like they've done good in life 'cause they donated to the united way and support gun control.
10 years ago
wow i came to mucho for some goatse shit and got a moral kick in the ass instead. fuck your god.
10 years ago
There are 27 Gods that are currently regularly worshipped by the world's population. A Christian denies the existence of 26 of them. I deny the existence of just one more God than them...
10 years ago
I try to help....ok not really I wanted to seem like I had some good in me
10 years ago
I will help further the illision by putting some "good" in ya, when you deem it necessary.
10 years ago
Im the son of a new God, please follow me & give me money so I can go back in time and burn, boil & torture the people who refuse to believe...fucking heretics!
10 years ago
Rangers or Celtic?
10 years ago
I found religion last weekend. It gave me a lovely warm and mellow feeing inside. That religion is called Bulleit Frontier Bourbon, and I recommend people follow it.
10 years ago
*feeling, even
10 years ago
I FOUND JESUS!!!.................
He was behind the couch the whole time...
10 years ago
Nope, he was hiding in the darkness.
10 years ago
That's oversimplistic. Christians are doing a lot for the less fortunate, everyone knows that.
10 years ago
Thou shall not bear false witness.
10 years ago
I don't know why everyone is making a religious issue out of this instead of just finding the humor in it. Fuck it, I'm Christian and I got a giggle out of it.
10 years ago
i know...
10 years ago
http://expatjane.blogspot.com/2007/09/muchosuckocom-be-more-like-jesus.html
5 years ago
recover password
most discussed
users online