points: 16

Handheld Printer

Eat your pacemaker out Nix

featuredcool

by Jones

submitted September 1st 2017

92 comments
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comments (92)
Somehow this doesn't seem as fun as the summer I spent painting slab numbers on steel just off the casting line. Mmmmm...

* JamesTKirk faps to burning paint smells. *
11 months ago
It's only smellz.
11 months ago
Listen, I could write numbers with a six foot paint stick better than anyone!
11 months ago
*suck
*6 in dick
*black
11 months ago
BUSTED
11 months ago
Haha
11 months ago
Never *correct an admiral.
11 months ago
*Rear Admiral
11 months ago
The other day I found out where the term "poop deck" came from. Turns out that it has nothing to do with poop.
11 months ago
Why are you always focused on my rear? I'm gonna call the fuckin cops.
11 months ago
He likes Jim's butt and he cannot lie.
11 months ago
It's concerning. The gay dead presidents.
11 months ago
Call the cops.... IDGAF
11 months ago
Haha, that's what you said last time, you fuckin drunk zeek-wannabe.
11 months ago
I'm not drunk.... i missed my last "medication time"
11 months ago
It's a holiday weekend, when does zeek report for duty here anyway?
11 months ago
You'll be alright. Go play with some hot soldering irons.
11 months ago
Just the tip.....
11 months ago
MUST HAVE!!!!!!
11 months ago
Graffiti technology has come a long way
11 months ago
I would tag everything!!!
11 months ago
Like you're gonna pay the fuckin postage to get this.
11 months ago
This could be a dangerous weapon in the hands of an ex wife or girlfriend, unfortunately.
11 months ago
I pay shipping to buy things..... i short pay when shipping out
11 months ago
Nixon would have something like:

"I fucked the USPS. I'm a stamp whore!"
11 months ago
FACT
11 months ago
He'd use the printer to write "YOU FUCK!!!" on all his shipments.
11 months ago
And everything else for that matter
11 months ago
https://i.imgur.com/eBE21mm.jpg
11 months ago
How steady must your hand be?
My hands are almost Parkinsons level I don't really think I could use this
11 months ago
Looked to me like there were guide rollers on the end, Sin.
11 months ago
Steady cam technology FTW
11 months ago
Yeah I rewatched i looks like you're right. Right now we use stencils when we need to make official markings. I dont see us getting this anytime soon though :(
11 months ago
it*
11 months ago
I would totally use this to print "GTO" all over Cap'n Fuck's '69 LeMans
11 months ago
* JamesTKirk orders a Skittles car wrap for PresidentFucks 86 Dodge Horizon. *
11 months ago
Well played, you Fuck
11 months ago
"Deuce"
11 months ago
* NixonsGhost leverages free Skittles wrap into advertising income *
11 months ago
Advantage, Nixon
11 months ago
TADA!!!!!
11 months ago
um...
11 months ago
...mazing
11 months ago
settle down
11 months ago
He's old, let him be excited about this one thing, he doesn't get very excited very often anymore.
* Sinaitis scampers *
11 months ago
dude, he's only approaching 42...
11 months ago
* NixonsGhost swings cane violently at possum *
11 months ago
43?
11 months ago
That's kinda part of the joke poss.
Like he thinks he's super old so you gotta fuck with him about it.
* Sinaitis unscampers *
11 months ago
been trying to nail down his real age for a while- all signs point to late 30s early 40s
11 months ago
Shut your mouth!!!!
11 months ago
I eat a lot of Asian women to look this young
11 months ago
hard to tell you never know with drug abuse and all...just look at punky dude's only 15 years old, but the drugs aged him excessively.
11 months ago
eating people is the secret to eternal youth? who would've thunk?
11 months ago
* possum sends nixon some of his old grey hairs that just falled out to piss me off *
11 months ago
THEY ARE LONG AND WISPY!!!!!
11 months ago
Gross
11 months ago
ps
pps
penis
they're also from his balls
11 months ago
just you wait
11 months ago
okay, i know this is TMI territory, but i have almost no body hair these days
11 months ago
It's going to your head and inside your nose & ears. Fact.
11 months ago
http://i.imgur.com/OtYT5uf.gif
11 months ago
And that was the wrong gif. Meant to use this one:http://i.imgur.com/KajI9X9.gif
11 months ago
that would splain lots, thanks
11 months ago
*it's a series of tubes!!!!!!!
11 months ago
There's not a damn thing wrong with havin' a couple of grandpa hairs.

http://muchosucko.com/122530/GREY
11 months ago
I only said your name once and I wasn't looking in a mirror. I thought you're suppose to say it 3 times while looking in a mirror.
I'm out broseph 8)
11 months ago
* PunkyBruiser gets back on his Crown RM *
11 months ago
Crown RM is what he calls his urethral stimulator.
11 months ago
my beard now has opposing continents/patches...some white, some red, some marmont colored...
11 months ago
* possum invades Irkutsk *
11 months ago
It's nice there this time of year.
11 months ago
*me posscans memorabilia for future use
11 months ago
good plan, mr 40-something
11 months ago
* Mako invades Yakutsk *
11 months ago
meh - hairy russian chicks an gooks..go for it
11 months ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNfb1X1awL8
11 months ago
Also, the hot Russian chick in the vid I posted yesterday is from there.
11 months ago
* Jones waits for possum to get a handheld scanner *
11 months ago
Nut sack scans for everyone!!!!!
11 months ago
His arms aren't long enough to scan them in their entirety :/
11 months ago
* Jones blows cuntscab and usedtampon some kisses *
11 months ago
He barely uses the scanner he already has, dog.
11 months ago
Thats because Nix is a shitty engineer who failed when helping him fix it
11 months ago
Don't blame me.... he never shipped it
11 months ago
*it's on his end
11 months ago
What's on his end? Skimmed milk?
11 months ago
Shame and fear
11 months ago
rubber/glue
11 months ago
When do ee get chilli scans?!?!?!
11 months ago
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
11 months ago
Every single fucking time someone makes me a coffee drink or a burrito I ask myself: why isn't a machine doing this? Machines replacing humans for work will be a good thing for us all. I think capitalism will still exist for a while, but a universal basic income may be necessary in the next 50 years.
10 months ago
recover password
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