points: 22

Bono & Uncle Hipcrime

featuredwin

by Barret

submitted June 19th 2017

65 comments
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Bono & Uncle Hipcrime
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comments (65)
so he has a small peen ?
1 year ago
tremendous fingers tbh
1 year ago
no , this clearly makes a reference to uncle bono having a penis the size of average fingers
1 year ago
in fact the hands looks like nothing more than nubs
1 year ago
which means the peepee is the size of a balled up fist obviously
1 year ago
use your head fries, honestly
1 year ago
i know im gay but i would never have a mustache that gay
1 year ago
never be afraid to go full douche bag....
1 year ago
what sort of weirdo wears wellies indoors....
1 year ago
i bought some wellies. I bought them so i could work the festivals over in your rainy shithole.
1 year ago
that's just Glastonbury , you dumb shitfuck
1 year ago
also if I ever see the likes of you on your way to Glasto im gonna kick your dumb ass all the way down the M5
1 year ago
I've done Glasto twice, BEYOCH. 8)
1 year ago
I've only ever driven through the place once and it was full of hippies and weirdos and that huge fucking hill
1 year ago
I hope the next time you go you drown in a huge puddle of mud
1 year ago
Ya know, this may sound fucked up, but if I was touched as a kid, as long as it didn't feel bad, I wouldn't even tell no one, free sex, fuck'em.
1 year ago
Once upon a time I was at a friends house, we were only single digit age, like 6-8 years old range, and I was being good, playing Nintendo and shit, minding my own business when she comes up to me, whispering in my ear seductively,

"Wanna do sexy things?"

Of course as an innocent child, I am not exactly sure what specifically she is referring to, but because I am a horrible person, I said yes.

She proceeds to strip, showing me her flat chest, plump butt cheeks and peach fuzzed pussy. All I ever did to her was kiss her ass, literally, but she sucked my dick all the time.

And I've been a sex addict ever since. Thanks childhood.
1 year ago
Also one time a black kid I hung out with just whipped his dick out for no reason in the back of a van we were riding in, I think it was his parent's van, who fucking remembers.

I spent the night with another friend and he proceeded to beat off right next to me, even had the nerve to exclaim,

"Nothing feels better on my dick than my own dry hand."

All I could think was that he clearly had never been given oral sex.
1 year ago
One time my brother's dad, not my dad made me take a shower with him, because we had to wash the dogs and he decided we would just do it in the shower, so we both get naked and wash the dogs in the shower and he makes a comment about the length of my penis. Of course I am uncomfortable as shit even being naked around him in the first place, not to mention he is tall and I am a child and his flaccid cock is right at face level with me.

I tried not to stare, but it scarred me so powerfully that I can visualize his cock in my minds eye like a fucking photograph.
1 year ago
you know what?

this comment chain isnt going to go over well but i'm fucking glad someone is doing story time


i rant sometimes and i hope it's interesting

this was interesting and probably at least 60% true
1 year ago
therefor i relate
1 year ago
shut the fuck up , nobody is reading your fucking drivel you piece of Ukraine shit
1 year ago
<<< interpost king
1 year ago
fries you look like a mug mate
1 year ago
uncle bono you fucking noob
1 year ago
thats what you get for insulting my gigantic fingers bitch
1 year ago
is your current avatar makodragon's 6 inch* penis ?
1 year ago
SEVEN. SEVEN'S THE KEY NUMBER
1 year ago
not even that... theres like 2 inch of fat there
1 year ago
SEVEN is the key number to not get laughed at online where everyones dick is huge
1 year ago
sadly you stabbed yourself with the measuring stick to inflate your pathetic numbers
1 year ago
basically MD at this point you should turn into one of those spammy accounts whose every post is about their tiny dick or tranny jizz
1 year ago
HAHAH
1 year ago
Bladesman Returns - Bigger, Stronger then ever.
1 year ago
jeez, I need to lose weight
1 year ago
but food is so delicious
1 year ago
if you need food just lick the carpet in your room, i'm sure it has turned into a fine nutrient paste by now
1 year ago
anyway 5 inches is small, not tiny. There's nothing marvellous about it.
1 year ago
Beside, a woman can feel my seven inches, even though only 5 inches are visible
1 year ago
ha....
1 year ago
by the way, I measure my penis the correct way:

https://www.verywell.com/how-to-measure-your-penis-size-906786
1 year ago
and that doesn't even account for the fact that I lose some length because my dick is curved upwards
1 year ago
and you lose some longevity due to premature leakage
1 year ago
like a 2-pump Billy
1 year ago
Sorry, I just dont wank as much as you tossers at the moment
1 year ago
i'll take stamina over squirting any day though
1 year ago
fair enough, dribbler
1 year ago
I know who'll be cuming first in my next sexual encounter
1 year ago
cuddle cat?
1 year ago
lol, the way you say sexual encounter makes it so ambiguous. Like it could be some blokes briefcase brushing against your knob on the bus... sexual encounter.
1 year ago
the way to do it, is to cum first, in her mouth, then eat pussy while your penis rejuvenates, then fuck her again
1 year ago
I just fall asleep once I cum. I do all the best stuff before then
1 year ago
like fingering his asshole?
sticking your tongue in his earhole?
sniffing his socks?
1 year ago
shut the fuck up you chode fondling poltroon
1 year ago
wow, poltroon is a new one


is that a british word or a TR word?
1 year ago
its a real word
1 year ago
my question stands
1 year ago
but its a dumb question. had you asked what it meant then that would be a valid question
1 year ago
I mean why would it not be a real word if it was a British word ?...
1 year ago
go back to sticking your finger-sized peen in to Bono
1 year ago
my peen is finger sized

because my fingers are banana sized
1 year ago
Right well moving along... How to you explain the gay tache and showing you nephew your 'tricks'
1 year ago
*do
1 year ago
actually I don't know why I didn't upvote this earlier.... its fucking hilarious not to mention true and accurate
1 year ago
hey now
1 year ago
recover password
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