points: 36

Barret's Traumatic Day

Explanation coming in comments

featuredmuchoers gone wild

by Barret

submitted April 15th 2017

55 comments
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Barret's Traumatic Day
tagged:
comments (55)
I lost count over how many girls I made scream today, or how many transexuals touched my face. Hundreds and dozens probably...

A 100% true Barret story :

I don't know what started it all, some kind of coup? Mild Zombie outbreak test? Farang hatred?

As I was walking past a bar, a giant black guy that looked like he should have starred in The Green Mile, came rushing out of it, followed by a gaggle of trannies.
Normally I would not be bothered by this sight, but the trannies were rather mannish looking, and the black guy suddenly shouted "GET HIM".

Then he pointed at me!

They ran over to me, and started squirting some kind of sticky substance on me, a few of the trannies smeared some kind of pancake-batter-texture shit in my face, and then they all laughed!

Horrified, I picked up my pace and started lurching away from the bar, trying to hold in my shit, as I wasn't feeling very good. Turns out 2 weeks of drinking and Thai food was catching up to me, I was already butt-hurt, and the madness had barely begun.

I could hear masses of people laughing behind me, not just the black guy and trannies, people had gathered in the streets to mock and ridicule me. Hundreds, possibly thousand. It felt just like being back in school again!

I quickly jumped on a motorbike taxi, and told him to get me back to the hotel, fast.

Turns out the mayhem was not contained to that street. Hordes of people had amassed in the streets, all of them either throwing smelly liquids at me, some of it hot, some of it freezing, or laughing and dancing at my suffering and trauma. Some even walked up to the motorbike to smear goo in my face again, and again...

It was hard to tell what people were yelling with their Thai accents, gossipy oldhag? Good Songkran? Happy New Year? That doesn't even make sense, new years is in December you fuckwits.

I realized they were completely ignoring the driver of the motorbike, only going for me. "He must be in on it too" I thought to myself in despair.

I jumped of the bike, left the traitor behind, and relied on my trusty fat legs to bring me home. Some time later that day, I somehow managed to make it back with my life intact, barely. After evacuating the contents of my butt-hole multiple times, crying and scrubbing myself clean in the shower, I donned to battle gear, and set out to get my revenge...

To be continued...
1 month ago
how tall are you?
1 month ago
nice tags
1 month ago
Fuelled by a mixture of bloodlust, PTSD, and confusion, I re-entered the streets. A shady looking guy in a back alley, was kind enough to sell me a weapon. I don't know much about guns, but it was some kind of rifle that fired projectiles at a fast pace as I clicked the trigger. A Semi-Automatic rifle?

I started making my way back to the street where it all started, but I didn't care where I was any more, they were all gonna get it.

Consumed by rage, I started firing my gun at anything that moved, I didn't care any more. Men, women, children, they were all gonna get what was coming to them, I even got some old ladies, babies, and some crippled dudes. The screams of my victims was like music to my 1 fully functioning ear.

Kids dressed up as Spider-Man was also a favourite target, fuck you Spider-Whunu-Man, crouching on walls and shit. That's not natural.

Ammo was just laying around in the streets, it was like playing a video-game. Finally all those hours on steam paid off.

Some people were wearing a strange bulletproof coat, made out of see-through plastic, I dunno how that even works... but my bullets bounced right off them.
I made sure to aim for their eyes and legs, the cowards wasn't gonna get away that easily.

I spent every waking hour of the next 3 days (about 6 hours) bathing in the blood of my enemies, before I was finally satisfied.

Probably not to be continued...
1 month ago
http://i.imgur.com/nD2lH9W.jpg
1 month ago
Sawasdee pee mai!!!
1 month ago
I think he wants you to pee on him, Barret. How sweet
1 month ago
That's happy new year in thai.
1 month ago
From the title, I wasn't expecting this to be about you losing your virginity
1 month ago
Leave it to punky to ask the important questions.
1 month ago
Still waiting for that MD like :(
1 month ago
Its all that matters really.
1 month ago
daww
1 month ago
Aww, bud... :(
1 month ago
Damn bro , that thinning hair tho , shave that shit off
1 month ago
it only looks thin because it's wet, you idiot. You should know aaall about things that are wet.
1 month ago
It's thin you fuck , just like your brain
1 month ago
Dad?
1 month ago
Mom?
1 month ago
my hair is thinning too..nothing can be done..its like you you subhuman donkey sucking spic...you cant all of a sudden be of average intelligence or less beanery
1 month ago
I said shave that shit off that's obviously what can be done you fucking greasy wetback noob that's too afraid to fight
1 month ago
get some pablito

http://i.imgur.com/6xX3j6N.jpg
1 month ago
Aw they even managed to get shit on your guaranteed authentic-no knock off-Ray-Bans
1 month ago
Only tourists wear black lol
1 month ago
I ripped a huge hole in my Hawaii Shirt :(
Do look like a typical tourist though.
1 month ago
you kinda look like a local. 8P
1 month ago
But cool tourist. Like Hunter S Thompson
1 month ago
I'm choosing to be flattered by this.
1 month ago
Happy Songkran faggots.
1 month ago
Someone needs to talk to Trump about getting a MOAB ready for thaiboyland
1 month ago
There's not enough Vietnam era TnT left over.
1 month ago
It's like an episode of You Can't Do That In Thailand
1 month ago
I don't know about that....
1 month ago
And here I thought you couldn't possibly look any more pasty and doughy.
1 month ago
:(
1 month ago
Dough paste?
1 month ago
I dunno what that mud really is, people smear it on your face for good luck.

I like to take a handful, then go for the hottest whores, then take my sweet time and slowly smear it on their cheeks, neck and shoulders, while giving them the rapestare.
1 month ago
Paragraph text saved.
1 month ago
THE MUD....37% smegma, 14% pale irishman tourist dandruff, 11% cremated rickshaw pony-people, 3% wrigley's spearmint gum (dehydrated and flaked), 3% oranjeboom toupee paste, and the remainainin 29.4% is whatever you want it to be you sexy thing
1 month ago
shit
1 month ago
FYI: Today's magic number was $14453
1 month ago
Have you invited over any unsuspecting vic, I mean, friends over for a nice Chianti yet!
1 month ago
I just leave a 20 baht bill by my doorstep, and see what wanders in.
1 month ago
*sambucca
1 month ago
you need to bring back some of this mud to norge, for "research"
1 month ago
*your home
*for smoking
1 month ago
lol @ asian barret in the background
1 month ago
you just wish you had money for nice things like vacations
1 month ago
where did the other half of your beard go?
1 month ago
There never was one
1 month ago
intriguing.
1 month ago
Good job Barrett , you tell her
1 month ago
Tell her to stfu
1 month ago
Gotta keep those cute bitches in line
1 month ago
recover password
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