points: 28

Point Blank Turd Flinging

Dog shit catapult. Or Slingshot for you murk'ns

featuredgross

by makodragon

submitted February 2nd 2017

177 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
tagged:
comments (177)
I like your tattoo mako
4 weeks ago
don't you just wanna motorboat my titties?
4 weeks ago
been there, done that
4 weeks ago
The FUCK is wrong with people?????
4 weeks ago
Don't insult the olde English ritual of self-turd-flinging
4 weeks ago
I was in my mates house before and we had been sessioning all night, he did a massive shit that wouldn't go down the bog, so he got a small shovel for the fire took, out the shit and lobbed it a few gardens down, imagine what the woman in that house was thinking when she went to hang out the washing and there is a massive human shit in her back garden, in a high walled area, she knew somebody was flinging shit.
4 weeks ago
lol, yeah... that's the first solution I think of when there's a massive turd blocking the toilet... "I'll dig it out and fling it!"
4 weeks ago
If you don't have a plunger, straighten out a wire hanger and break it up using that.
4 weeks ago
my mate told me his mother advised him to pour hot water down the toilet
4 weeks ago
I discovered after around 27 years that is you use a toilet brush to just force the shit down, it flows away no problems. But try explaining that to someone that's been up all night popping E's. The best logic at that time is to throw it into your neighbors garden.
4 weeks ago
I've heard that helps too, MD.
4 weeks ago
Only here could there possibly be multiple poo elimination suggestions.
4 weeks ago
Hey, they're helpful household hints...brought to you by the weirdos at Muchosucko.com
4 weeks ago
When i was in hospital before i didn't shit for eight days because of all the meds they were giving me, so i was eating non stop, getting kfc dropped in, and everybody coming to see me with boxes of chocolates and stuff. That was all well and good until i had to shit. I was trying to control the yelps, and i was in a public ward with 6 other people. I clogged the toilet, and the nurse had to call up somebody to unblock my shit. It was awesome.
4 weeks ago
When I had kidney stones they were giving me Dilaudid every four hours. When I finally did poop after a week, it was the consistency of a meteorite.
4 weeks ago
Yea, shit building up in the system isn't good, even if for the lads.
4 weeks ago
Yeah, but when you finally do shit your pants for the lads, it's fucking epic.
4 weeks ago
Yea. The last time I did I was on a golf course. Fun times.
4 weeks ago
When poop gives you trouble, chow it down and pass it double.
4 weeks ago
Last time I did it, I was 14, and it was Christmas Eve. That's why I say never trust a fart if you can help it.
4 weeks ago
I remeber you saying that, but i don't think we were even using shit your pants for the lads at that stage. You basically just shat your pants for no reason.
4 weeks ago
By the way, a water bottle can be used as a "jet flush" device.....just saying. Masterful when in a hotel room and you don't want to call maintenance because you fucked up the toilet.
4 weeks ago
I think if I had to shit on a golf course, I'd just go in the woods and wipe with my golf towel. They're cheap enough to replace.
4 weeks ago
Hahaha, Kurupt.
4 weeks ago
That comment was for kirk by the way, i didn't think you were all going to butt in with different pants shitting stories.
4 weeks ago
Shark, emergency situation and it was a links course....no woods.
4 weeks ago
Damn, thats just bad luck, Jim.
4 weeks ago
Ya, I almost made it to the Porto-potty. I even ditched my fucking clubs and ran for it.
4 weeks ago
Kirk, you in the US this weekend? I'm flying out to Manhattan tomorrow...gonna see The Phantom Of The Opera at the Majestic Theater on Saturday after dinner at Nobu.
4 weeks ago
Nice! Enjoy that.

No, I catch an 11am to Singapore, again.
4 weeks ago
This thread is reserved for shitting and pants only.
4 weeks ago
* NixonsGhost eats a bottle of imodium AD and waits for the results and hopefully a competitive story *
4 weeks ago
I'm still laughing about the pants shitting for no reason comment.
4 weeks ago
You could shit through the eye of a needle, and film it.
4 weeks ago
Poop stories are always a good read.
4 weeks ago
I'm thinking I might need to poop on my flight tomorrow.
4 weeks ago
I should be okay. I just don't know ceviche is gonna sit in my stomach on Saturday.
4 weeks ago
*how ceviche
4 weeks ago
You'll be fine. The vinegar essentially cooks the fish.
4 weeks ago
Yeah, that's true.
4 weeks ago
Sit next to the poshest woman on the plane kirk, and start telling her all about shitting your pants for the lads, then just let it out when you experience a poctet of turbulance, so you are bouncing around on the shit and it's wafting around the aircraft. That should get the word out, that shitting your pants for the lads is for winners.
4 weeks ago
Shit smells are the worst on an aircraft. You're in this pressurized metal tube and the smell just doesn't dissipate.
4 weeks ago
For winners...... hahahahahahaha
4 weeks ago
GOLD!!!!!
4 weeks ago
Dude. You are talking to a guy that took 2 fucking Air India flights a couple weeks ago. Never again.
4 weeks ago
I almost shit my pants to *improve* things on those flights.
4 weeks ago
HALA HALA!
4 weeks ago
Mako you know a lot about the science of farts.
4 weeks ago
I do dabble in Fartology a bit.
4 weeks ago
Thank the gods, or id still not know what a stuck fart was.
4 weeks ago
That was an awesome thread, i'm glad we can talk so freely about shit.
4 weeks ago
Sharing poop is a wonderful past time.
4 weeks ago
I was getting into a bit of a habit of almost shitting my pants there about 4 years ago, but i was on the spirits pretty heavy at that stage. Had to shit behind a car one night at around 3am, couldn't hold it. Took off a sock to wipe my arse, and away i went.
4 weeks ago

JamesTKirk
I'm thinking I might need to poop on my flight tomorrow.
47 minutes agoreport spam | unlike | stfu

Hahaha....I make it a habit to try and take a stinking dump while flying. I also snore like a motherfucker so napping is essential.
4 weeks ago
You FUCK!!!!!
4 weeks ago
* NixonsGhost books grethound from now on *
4 weeks ago
Guaranteed if you take a greyhound, some dirty bastard is already after shitting his pants for the lads on it.
4 weeks ago
I figure if one of the motherfuckers on the plane is going to spread their filthy germs to me I am going to in the very least make them smell my shit and rage cringe at my extremely loud snoring.
4 weeks ago
Shitting your pants for the lads is a draining but soothing experience mag, you should have no problem drifting off to sleep after it.
4 weeks ago
I could sleep on a picket fence.
4 weeks ago
When i fly and sit next to people that snore or are obnoxious..... i always make sure to accidentally spill my drink on them..... accidentally
4 weeks ago
Problem solved
4 weeks ago
YOU FUCK!
4 weeks ago
It was totally that air pocket and turbulence
4 weeks ago
You go out of your way to find an annoying person and then burn the fuck out of them with hot coffee, that's fairly fucking weird, nix.
4 weeks ago
They have it coming
4 weeks ago
A day in the life of a sociopath.
4 weeks ago
*greedy sociopath
4 weeks ago
I'm usually drinking heavily on a plane because I dislike flying, so I'm not about to waste alcohol by spilling it on someone.
4 weeks ago
Kurupt is correct.... i always get a coffee..... and then wait.
4 weeks ago
It either burns them or stains their shit...... or both.
4 weeks ago
The exception is kids..... they get water.
4 weeks ago
You should fly first class so that you don't encounter those problems.
4 weeks ago
This is way funner
4 weeks ago
I'd fly on private jets of i could get me some of kurupt's dart money
4 weeks ago
I fling my shit into coach from first class.
4 weeks ago
We're taking a Learjet 60 to NYC this weekend. Buffalo airport has a few private airlines that have Lears and a few Gulfstreams, so I'm sure you could find a nice aircraft in Denver.
4 weeks ago
Talking about dart money. I was talking to the promoter of the Gary Anderson night, he works in the pharmacy where i get my prescription. He said he charged six grand for the night, plus his flights, accommodation, food, drink a round of golf was all inclusive. He did four shows over here in 5 day and got six grand a touch that's twenty four grand for a weeks work. The jammy cunt.
4 weeks ago
I need to get me some of that dart loot
4 weeks ago
Better get practicing. Iv'e been playing almost every day for the past ten years, and some days you play good ad other days you play shit. It's one of the hardest games to be consistent at, i think the pros are just born with it.
4 weeks ago
Kurupt, what's a ps4 controller worth to you.... including shipping?
4 weeks ago
How much is shipping?
4 weeks ago
Probably $10 or $15
4 weeks ago
Maybe less
4 weeks ago
I need a baseline as i look for broken shit
4 weeks ago
And what kinda price are the broken controllers
4 weeks ago
I been seeing $20 to $30 per controller
4 weeks ago
So say $40 for the controller and shipping, then if you need to buy any parts and labor. It's probably not worth my while. I could find a second hand one for sale in Ireland and maybe get it for 40 or 50 realistically.
4 weeks ago
Whatever you do, don't buy one on ebay for 20 bucks.
4 weeks ago
My thoughts exactly..... on both counts
4 weeks ago
My labor costs would dip into your dart loot to the tune of $250 an hour
4 weeks ago
And that's the friend discounted rate
4 weeks ago
Yeah, i got a ps3 blue controller from china for 20 a couple of years back, had nothing but problems with it, wouldn't charge properly, kept turning off, vibration would come and go, a pain in the fucking hole basically.
4 weeks ago
Nah fuck that, and at the speed you tend to work, i would end up owing you thousands.
4 weeks ago
I can fix that blue controller if you want.....
4 weeks ago
Hahahaha
4 weeks ago
I gave it to my cousin along with the bluetooth headset and a few games, they were no good to me anymore after the ps3 crashed.
4 weeks ago
I can fix that too.....
4 weeks ago
I gave it into the pawn shop and told them i was going to buy it back. I did it so often they didn't even check it, so i got 70 towards the ps4 from that. Suckers.
4 weeks ago
Anyway, stop telling me that you can fix shit for me, we've established that it pointless for you to do work for me, mainly because you are a hungry bastard that charges 250 an hour, fried rate my hole.
4 weeks ago
You FUCK!!!!!!
4 weeks ago
Only cause i know your good for it with all that dart loot you're making.
4 weeks ago
They made plenty money off me over the few years, if you go 70 off them you had to pay 95 to get it back, i did it a load of times, at 25 a time, they made a lot more than 70 off me.
4 weeks ago
Dart loot, what? The last time i won money at darts was before Christmas, and that was on 30
4 weeks ago
^only
4 weeks ago
Dude... that's 10 minutes of work. You're off to a good start
4 weeks ago
Nix, why don't you sharpen your cane and enter the Great American Rocky Mountain Jart-off?
4 weeks ago
Hmmmmmmmmm
4 weeks ago
* ClaudeBallz alerts DIA *
4 weeks ago
It was mixed doubles nix, it started at 9pm and didn't finish until around 12.30, i drank around 8 pints in that time at 4.50 each, so i was actually down money.
4 weeks ago
Just found a glacier white ps4 controller on eBay, unopened for 47 euro in Ireland and 5.50 postage and packaging. That's not bad.
4 weeks ago
Would you say this is one of the dodgy ones nix? http://www.ebay.ie/itm/New-Offical-Bluetooth-Wireless-Controller-Gamepad-For-PS4-/132035105908?hash=item1ebde7d474%3Ag%3AEXAAAOSwo4pYUkmx
4 weeks ago
I'd risk it. 2 year warranty. You can always complain and get your money back.
4 weeks ago
PS.... I will likely get a new lathe in March. When i do i can manufacture my own lawn darts.
4 weeks ago
Fuck that was a long time waiting for a reply, lucky for you i have nothing better to be doing, and am wired out of my head
4 weeks ago
For legit competition, of course
4 weeks ago
I was busy working a TV repair deal.
4 weeks ago
Should be a quick $120 profit
4 weeks ago
I got a loan of fallout 4, spent a bit of time playing it, i can't get into it at all not my kinda game. Did you ever play any of them on ps2
4 weeks ago
First PS4 should be here next week..... will be interesting to see if its a good deal or not
4 weeks ago
Fallout, nope. I was more into tomb raider and gran torismo
4 weeks ago
When you get the ps4 sign up for your 2 weeks free ps plus membership. I activated it the other day, i should still have a few days on it by the time you get yours.
4 weeks ago
Oh, and socom....... lots of socom
4 weeks ago
Assumimg i can fix it in time
4 weeks ago
I'm still trying to track down some schematics
4 weeks ago
If it's just a power issue i'm sure it something handy, the same with the one turning off after a few mins, that was happening to my ps3 as well, i just reset factory setting, and then download the update files via USB, and it was working again perfect;y.
4 weeks ago
Perhaps..... my fear is a bad capacitor on the power supply or worse. Having the schematics helps me understand how it all comes together and whete to start troubleshooting.
4 weeks ago
Baby don't fear the capacitors.
4 weeks ago
I may just fix 'em and sell 'em for more cash
4 weeks ago
You sicken my shit, i hate hungry people. I hope you are joking about being that tight of a cunt.
4 weeks ago
Fix a few broken ones.... make some cash..... buy a new one..... badically costs me nothing
4 weeks ago
You are badically to the bone.
4 weeks ago
Haha
4 weeks ago
May have to sub a repair video or two
4 weeks ago
I read back over this thread around five times when you were gone, it's definitely one of the funniest ones i remember in a long time, and no handicappers jumped in to ruin it.
4 weeks ago
It's in my top 10 for sure
4 weeks ago
I think the "shitting your pants is for winners" put it over thd top for me
4 weeks ago
That and dart loot.....
4 weeks ago
Haha
4 weeks ago
Any plans for the weekend, bar being a winner of course.
4 weeks ago
I need to prep my shop this weekend. I have a new endmill coming on saturday.
4 weeks ago
That and prep the ps4 repair table
4 weeks ago
I assume you will be drinkig and chucking darts.....
4 weeks ago
I'm sure i will be chucking darts, not too sure about the drinking. Have too many bills this week. Probably just a few smokes and a few games of spears.
4 weeks ago
You should get a side gig.... fix electronics.... get extra cash
4 weeks ago
I did serve two years as an apprentice electrician, but i should have went to to electronic engineering, that was always what i really wanted to do, then i could be making hats of money and being a real tight fucker, just like you.
4 weeks ago
Never too late.....
4 weeks ago
It's a lot of training to do again, i'm sure the whole curriculum is after changing by now, it was almost fifteen years ago when i did it first. It would be four or five years on shit money.
4 weeks ago
This fag is making a name for himself. Firecrackers, paintballs, now shit in the face. I guarantee he has been on this site either as a member or guest.
4 weeks ago
Drumrave ?
4 weeks ago
Impossible.
4 weeks ago
*drumpossible
4 weeks ago
Fake. He's just thinking about too many chicken tenders.
4 weeks ago
DusteraBruiser
4 weeks ago
Shut your fuckin' dick sucker, faggot.
4 weeks ago
* NixonsGhost throws Kurupt's darts at Punky *
4 weeks ago
Here Nix use the heavier set.
4 weeks ago
Like I said...
4 weeks ago
Nix Choose which weapons you want to throw at punky. http://imgur.com/sc2I9rC
4 weeks ago
Any ideas why the picture didn't show up, i copied and pasted the image link?
4 weeks ago
You have to right click on it and do view image..... paste that link of just the picture
4 weeks ago
http://i.imgur.com/sc2I9rC.jpg
4 weeks ago
Nice one nix.
4 weeks ago
The ones on the right I've been using for around ten years, but the points got completely blunt and the were bouncing out all the time, i got them re-pointed, but the points he used are massive, and they have changed the whole flight of the dart.
4 weeks ago
I'll take the three on the right. I don't need that fancy stuff.....
4 weeks ago
Those are my weapons, i will have to pay to get the re-pointed again, this time i'll buy in the points myself.
4 weeks ago
Your darts are sexy, KUR.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sNdUeC63ssY
4 weeks ago
They are, i give them a light spanking before each game
4 weeks ago
Epic butt smacks. Throw those mother fuckers at the bullseye.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gwBjZLzY7Eo
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gwBjZLzY7Eo
4 weeks ago
His body is like a whole new world globe. What a useless fat fuck. Fat on, you waste of life, FAT ON.
4 weeks ago
Get your ear muffs punkster.....
4 weeks ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqCotgdEZsk
4 weeks ago
Fuck your taste, Mr President.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM
4 weeks ago
Sorry, I really suck ass.
4 weeks ago
I'm on my last leg out, and you just fucked my buzz up, NIXY.
4 weeks ago
@POSSUM

EAT ME RAW, NIGGER.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ2qpYYBC-w
4 weeks ago
^EPIC VID
4 weeks ago
recover password