points: 28

Point Blank Turd Flinging

Dog shit catapult. Or Slingshot for you murk'ns

featuredgross

by makodragon

submitted February 2nd 2017

177 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
tagged:
comments (177)
I like your tattoo mako
4 months ago
don't you just wanna motorboat my titties?
4 months ago
been there, done that
4 months ago
The FUCK is wrong with people?????
4 months ago
Don't insult the olde English ritual of self-turd-flinging
4 months ago
I was in my mates house before and we had been sessioning all night, he did a massive shit that wouldn't go down the bog, so he got a small shovel for the fire took, out the shit and lobbed it a few gardens down, imagine what the woman in that house was thinking when she went to hang out the washing and there is a massive human shit in her back garden, in a high walled area, she knew somebody was flinging shit.
4 months ago
lol, yeah... that's the first solution I think of when there's a massive turd blocking the toilet... "I'll dig it out and fling it!"
4 months ago
If you don't have a plunger, straighten out a wire hanger and break it up using that.
4 months ago
my mate told me his mother advised him to pour hot water down the toilet
4 months ago
I discovered after around 27 years that is you use a toilet brush to just force the shit down, it flows away no problems. But try explaining that to someone that's been up all night popping E's. The best logic at that time is to throw it into your neighbors garden.
4 months ago
I've heard that helps too, MD.
4 months ago
Only here could there possibly be multiple poo elimination suggestions.
4 months ago
Hey, they're helpful household hints...brought to you by the weirdos at Muchosucko.com
4 months ago
When i was in hospital before i didn't shit for eight days because of all the meds they were giving me, so i was eating non stop, getting kfc dropped in, and everybody coming to see me with boxes of chocolates and stuff. That was all well and good until i had to shit. I was trying to control the yelps, and i was in a public ward with 6 other people. I clogged the toilet, and the nurse had to call up somebody to unblock my shit. It was awesome.
4 months ago
When I had kidney stones they were giving me Dilaudid every four hours. When I finally did poop after a week, it was the consistency of a meteorite.
4 months ago
Yea, shit building up in the system isn't good, even if for the lads.
4 months ago
Yeah, but when you finally do shit your pants for the lads, it's fucking epic.
4 months ago
Yea. The last time I did I was on a golf course. Fun times.
4 months ago
When poop gives you trouble, chow it down and pass it double.
4 months ago
Last time I did it, I was 14, and it was Christmas Eve. That's why I say never trust a fart if you can help it.
4 months ago
I remeber you saying that, but i don't think we were even using shit your pants for the lads at that stage. You basically just shat your pants for no reason.
4 months ago
By the way, a water bottle can be used as a "jet flush" device.....just saying. Masterful when in a hotel room and you don't want to call maintenance because you fucked up the toilet.
4 months ago
I think if I had to shit on a golf course, I'd just go in the woods and wipe with my golf towel. They're cheap enough to replace.
4 months ago
Hahaha, Kurupt.
4 months ago
That comment was for kirk by the way, i didn't think you were all going to butt in with different pants shitting stories.
4 months ago
Shark, emergency situation and it was a links course....no woods.
4 months ago
Damn, thats just bad luck, Jim.
4 months ago
Ya, I almost made it to the Porto-potty. I even ditched my fucking clubs and ran for it.
4 months ago
Kirk, you in the US this weekend? I'm flying out to Manhattan tomorrow...gonna see The Phantom Of The Opera at the Majestic Theater on Saturday after dinner at Nobu.
4 months ago
Nice! Enjoy that.

No, I catch an 11am to Singapore, again.
4 months ago
This thread is reserved for shitting and pants only.
4 months ago
* NixonsGhost eats a bottle of imodium AD and waits for the results and hopefully a competitive story *
4 months ago
I'm still laughing about the pants shitting for no reason comment.
4 months ago
You could shit through the eye of a needle, and film it.
4 months ago
Poop stories are always a good read.
4 months ago
I'm thinking I might need to poop on my flight tomorrow.
4 months ago
I should be okay. I just don't know ceviche is gonna sit in my stomach on Saturday.
4 months ago
*how ceviche
4 months ago
You'll be fine. The vinegar essentially cooks the fish.
4 months ago
Yeah, that's true.
4 months ago
Sit next to the poshest woman on the plane kirk, and start telling her all about shitting your pants for the lads, then just let it out when you experience a poctet of turbulance, so you are bouncing around on the shit and it's wafting around the aircraft. That should get the word out, that shitting your pants for the lads is for winners.
4 months ago
Shit smells are the worst on an aircraft. You're in this pressurized metal tube and the smell just doesn't dissipate.
4 months ago
For winners...... hahahahahahaha
4 months ago
GOLD!!!!!
4 months ago
Dude. You are talking to a guy that took 2 fucking Air India flights a couple weeks ago. Never again.
4 months ago
I almost shit my pants to *improve* things on those flights.
4 months ago
HALA HALA!
4 months ago
Mako you know a lot about the science of farts.
4 months ago
I do dabble in Fartology a bit.
4 months ago
Thank the gods, or id still not know what a stuck fart was.
4 months ago
That was an awesome thread, i'm glad we can talk so freely about shit.
4 months ago
Sharing poop is a wonderful past time.
4 months ago
I was getting into a bit of a habit of almost shitting my pants there about 4 years ago, but i was on the spirits pretty heavy at that stage. Had to shit behind a car one night at around 3am, couldn't hold it. Took off a sock to wipe my arse, and away i went.
4 months ago

JamesTKirk
I'm thinking I might need to poop on my flight tomorrow.
47 minutes agoreport spam | unlike | stfu

Hahaha....I make it a habit to try and take a stinking dump while flying. I also snore like a motherfucker so napping is essential.
4 months ago
You FUCK!!!!!
4 months ago
* NixonsGhost books grethound from now on *
4 months ago
Guaranteed if you take a greyhound, some dirty bastard is already after shitting his pants for the lads on it.
4 months ago
I figure if one of the motherfuckers on the plane is going to spread their filthy germs to me I am going to in the very least make them smell my shit and rage cringe at my extremely loud snoring.
4 months ago
Shitting your pants for the lads is a draining but soothing experience mag, you should have no problem drifting off to sleep after it.
4 months ago
I could sleep on a picket fence.
4 months ago
When i fly and sit next to people that snore or are obnoxious..... i always make sure to accidentally spill my drink on them..... accidentally
4 months ago
Problem solved
4 months ago
YOU FUCK!
4 months ago
It was totally that air pocket and turbulence
4 months ago
You go out of your way to find an annoying person and then burn the fuck out of them with hot coffee, that's fairly fucking weird, nix.
4 months ago
They have it coming
4 months ago
A day in the life of a sociopath.
4 months ago
*greedy sociopath
4 months ago
I'm usually drinking heavily on a plane because I dislike flying, so I'm not about to waste alcohol by spilling it on someone.
4 months ago
Kurupt is correct.... i always get a coffee..... and then wait.
4 months ago
It either burns them or stains their shit...... or both.
4 months ago
The exception is kids..... they get water.
4 months ago
You should fly first class so that you don't encounter those problems.
4 months ago
This is way funner
4 months ago
I'd fly on private jets of i could get me some of kurupt's dart money
4 months ago
I fling my shit into coach from first class.
4 months ago
We're taking a Learjet 60 to NYC this weekend. Buffalo airport has a few private airlines that have Lears and a few Gulfstreams, so I'm sure you could find a nice aircraft in Denver.
4 months ago
Talking about dart money. I was talking to the promoter of the Gary Anderson night, he works in the pharmacy where i get my prescription. He said he charged six grand for the night, plus his flights, accommodation, food, drink a round of golf was all inclusive. He did four shows over here in 5 day and got six grand a touch that's twenty four grand for a weeks work. The jammy cunt.
4 months ago
I need to get me some of that dart loot
4 months ago
Better get practicing. Iv'e been playing almost every day for the past ten years, and some days you play good ad other days you play shit. It's one of the hardest games to be consistent at, i think the pros are just born with it.
4 months ago
Kurupt, what's a ps4 controller worth to you.... including shipping?
4 months ago
How much is shipping?
4 months ago
Probably $10 or $15
4 months ago
Maybe less
4 months ago
I need a baseline as i look for broken shit
4 months ago
And what kinda price are the broken controllers
4 months ago
I been seeing $20 to $30 per controller
4 months ago
So say $40 for the controller and shipping, then if you need to buy any parts and labor. It's probably not worth my while. I could find a second hand one for sale in Ireland and maybe get it for 40 or 50 realistically.
4 months ago
Whatever you do, don't buy one on ebay for 20 bucks.
4 months ago
My thoughts exactly..... on both counts
4 months ago
My labor costs would dip into your dart loot to the tune of $250 an hour
4 months ago
And that's the friend discounted rate
4 months ago
Yeah, i got a ps3 blue controller from china for 20 a couple of years back, had nothing but problems with it, wouldn't charge properly, kept turning off, vibration would come and go, a pain in the fucking hole basically.
4 months ago
Nah fuck that, and at the speed you tend to work, i would end up owing you thousands.
4 months ago
I can fix that blue controller if you want.....
4 months ago
Hahahaha
4 months ago
I gave it to my cousin along with the bluetooth headset and a few games, they were no good to me anymore after the ps3 crashed.
4 months ago
I can fix that too.....
4 months ago
I gave it into the pawn shop and told them i was going to buy it back. I did it so often they didn't even check it, so i got 70 towards the ps4 from that. Suckers.
4 months ago
Anyway, stop telling me that you can fix shit for me, we've established that it pointless for you to do work for me, mainly because you are a hungry bastard that charges 250 an hour, fried rate my hole.
4 months ago
You FUCK!!!!!!
4 months ago
Only cause i know your good for it with all that dart loot you're making.
4 months ago
They made plenty money off me over the few years, if you go 70 off them you had to pay 95 to get it back, i did it a load of times, at 25 a time, they made a lot more than 70 off me.
4 months ago
Dart loot, what? The last time i won money at darts was before Christmas, and that was on 30
4 months ago
^only
4 months ago
Dude... that's 10 minutes of work. You're off to a good start
4 months ago
Nix, why don't you sharpen your cane and enter the Great American Rocky Mountain Jart-off?
4 months ago
Hmmmmmmmmm
4 months ago
* ClaudeBallz alerts DIA *
4 months ago
It was mixed doubles nix, it started at 9pm and didn't finish until around 12.30, i drank around 8 pints in that time at 4.50 each, so i was actually down money.
4 months ago
Just found a glacier white ps4 controller on eBay, unopened for 47 euro in Ireland and 5.50 postage and packaging. That's not bad.
4 months ago
Would you say this is one of the dodgy ones nix? http://www.ebay.ie/itm/New-Offical-Bluetooth-Wireless-Controller-Gamepad-For-PS4-/132035105908?hash=item1ebde7d474%3Ag%3AEXAAAOSwo4pYUkmx
4 months ago
I'd risk it. 2 year warranty. You can always complain and get your money back.
4 months ago
PS.... I will likely get a new lathe in March. When i do i can manufacture my own lawn darts.
4 months ago
Fuck that was a long time waiting for a reply, lucky for you i have nothing better to be doing, and am wired out of my head
4 months ago
For legit competition, of course
4 months ago
I was busy working a TV repair deal.
4 months ago
Should be a quick $120 profit
4 months ago
I got a loan of fallout 4, spent a bit of time playing it, i can't get into it at all not my kinda game. Did you ever play any of them on ps2
4 months ago
First PS4 should be here next week..... will be interesting to see if its a good deal or not
4 months ago
Fallout, nope. I was more into tomb raider and gran torismo
4 months ago
When you get the ps4 sign up for your 2 weeks free ps plus membership. I activated it the other day, i should still have a few days on it by the time you get yours.
4 months ago
Oh, and socom....... lots of socom
4 months ago
Assumimg i can fix it in time
4 months ago
I'm still trying to track down some schematics
4 months ago
If it's just a power issue i'm sure it something handy, the same with the one turning off after a few mins, that was happening to my ps3 as well, i just reset factory setting, and then download the update files via USB, and it was working again perfect;y.
4 months ago
Perhaps..... my fear is a bad capacitor on the power supply or worse. Having the schematics helps me understand how it all comes together and whete to start troubleshooting.
4 months ago
Baby don't fear the capacitors.
4 months ago
I may just fix 'em and sell 'em for more cash
4 months ago
You sicken my shit, i hate hungry people. I hope you are joking about being that tight of a cunt.
4 months ago
Fix a few broken ones.... make some cash..... buy a new one..... badically costs me nothing
4 months ago
You are badically to the bone.
4 months ago
Haha
4 months ago
May have to sub a repair video or two
4 months ago
I read back over this thread around five times when you were gone, it's definitely one of the funniest ones i remember in a long time, and no handicappers jumped in to ruin it.
4 months ago
It's in my top 10 for sure
4 months ago
I think the "shitting your pants is for winners" put it over thd top for me
4 months ago
That and dart loot.....
4 months ago
Haha
4 months ago
Any plans for the weekend, bar being a winner of course.
4 months ago
I need to prep my shop this weekend. I have a new endmill coming on saturday.
4 months ago
That and prep the ps4 repair table
4 months ago
I assume you will be drinkig and chucking darts.....
4 months ago
I'm sure i will be chucking darts, not too sure about the drinking. Have too many bills this week. Probably just a few smokes and a few games of spears.
4 months ago
You should get a side gig.... fix electronics.... get extra cash
4 months ago
I did serve two years as an apprentice electrician, but i should have went to to electronic engineering, that was always what i really wanted to do, then i could be making hats of money and being a real tight fucker, just like you.
4 months ago
Never too late.....
4 months ago
It's a lot of training to do again, i'm sure the whole curriculum is after changing by now, it was almost fifteen years ago when i did it first. It would be four or five years on shit money.
4 months ago
This fag is making a name for himself. Firecrackers, paintballs, now shit in the face. I guarantee he has been on this site either as a member or guest.
4 months ago
Drumrave ?
4 months ago
Impossible.
4 months ago
*drumpossible
4 months ago
Fake. He's just thinking about too many chicken tenders.
4 months ago
DusteraBruiser
4 months ago
Shut your fuckin' dick sucker, faggot.
4 months ago
* NixonsGhost throws Kurupt's darts at Punky *
4 months ago
Here Nix use the heavier set.
4 months ago
Like I said...
4 months ago
Nix Choose which weapons you want to throw at punky. http://imgur.com/sc2I9rC
4 months ago
Any ideas why the picture didn't show up, i copied and pasted the image link?
4 months ago
You have to right click on it and do view image..... paste that link of just the picture
4 months ago
http://i.imgur.com/sc2I9rC.jpg
4 months ago
Nice one nix.
4 months ago
The ones on the right I've been using for around ten years, but the points got completely blunt and the were bouncing out all the time, i got them re-pointed, but the points he used are massive, and they have changed the whole flight of the dart.
4 months ago
I'll take the three on the right. I don't need that fancy stuff.....
4 months ago
Those are my weapons, i will have to pay to get the re-pointed again, this time i'll buy in the points myself.
4 months ago
Your darts are sexy, KUR.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sNdUeC63ssY
4 months ago
They are, i give them a light spanking before each game
4 months ago
Epic butt smacks. Throw those mother fuckers at the bullseye.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gwBjZLzY7Eo
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gwBjZLzY7Eo
4 months ago
His body is like a whole new world globe. What a useless fat fuck. Fat on, you waste of life, FAT ON.
4 months ago
Get your ear muffs punkster.....
4 months ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqCotgdEZsk
4 months ago
Fuck your taste, Mr President.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WM7-PYtXtJM
4 months ago
Sorry, I really suck ass.
4 months ago
I'm on my last leg out, and you just fucked my buzz up, NIXY.
4 months ago
@POSSUM

EAT ME RAW, NIGGER.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ2qpYYBC-w
4 months ago
^EPIC VID
4 months ago
recover password
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