points: -2

Dad gives kid masturbation tips

I bet alot of you will be pitching your andy johnsons into banana's now.

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by EatYourParents

submitted September 6th 2006

18 comments
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muchoworthynot muchoworthyMako
comments (18)
I LIKE TO WHIP SKIPPY INTO THE THUMBHOLE OF A BOWLING BALL

THANK YOU
BEN DOVER
11 years ago
"tug you thomas" ahaha that was great. But seriously has anyone ever tried that banana thing? That sounds disgusting. And anyways it would get banana bits all over your shlong and in your pubes and then you'd need to shower. So if you're going to shower afterwards, why bother with the banana? Just skip it, take your shower, and do it in there. Yadadimean?
11 years ago
"Weeds"
Watch it.

Second season (so far) living up to the first.
11 years ago
hell yeah, the second season is even better than the first, and actually it´s the uncle giving out the good tips, not the dad, and i second FeltMountain:

WATCH IT!!!!!
11 years ago
^Na das hast du dir sicher illegal heruntergeladen was :o ? Du schlimmer Finger^^

Great season so far!
11 years ago
mähää, was sonst, die guten sachen kommen nie oder mit riesenverspätung zu uns,
aber da es für weeds noch nicht mal jemanden gibt, der die deutschen rechte besitzt und showtime genug mit amerikanischen piraten zu tun hat, mach ich mir keine sorgen!!

PIRACY RULES!!
11 years ago
Fick Deutschland!
11 years ago
^ how mature of you...
11 years ago
Hey Fritz! Care to share that with the rest of the class? Kraut bastards.
11 years ago
@balls: z4ck accused me of pirating "weeds", because it isn´t broadcast in germany to which i responded: "hell yeah, piracy! there´s no other way to get the really good stuff in time over here", then i expressed my doubts about getting caught because there´s enough american pirates with which showtime has to deal, and that was basically it! but why all the hatred when some people write just one post in a foreign language? envy?

and you´re right, "krauts" and "fritz" never ever gets old! worked for your grampa, so why shouldn´t it work for you??? no really, sometimes i wish the signature words for racial (i still say racial, m´kay??) prejudice would evolve a little! i´m 23 years old and i don´t know a single person here named fritz, and i eat kraut or sausage about once a year!
11 years ago
^ Actually my grandfather is German and served in the Luftwaffe. Also spent two years in an American POW camp. I was just fucking with ya'. But seriously, the Germans are not a race. It was that kind of thinking that got 'yall in trouble in the first place.
11 years ago
Not funny. All the euphemisms are annoying and sounded way too rehearsed. Besides, everybody knows to use a cantalope.
11 years ago
i heard about a guy who mircowaved a melon once and almost got his cock burned off, im sorry but when i microwave for pleasure i test it with my pinky first
11 years ago
lol yah that dude got an honorable mention in the darwin awards.
11 years ago
am i the only one who thinks it is funny that jiminy-cricket uses his pinky to test the heat instead of anything larger. do your other fingers give you penis envy? hahaha. j/k
11 years ago
OK, whacking in the shower is terrible advice. Once goo mixes with water it turns into fucking glue. Get it in your hair (leg, pube whatever.) You basically have to tear out the hair to get it off. Unpleasent. Once was enough, never again.

Still, fairly funny clip and for the most part good advice. Also, on a similar note about nuking the melon. Some dude tried the American Pie trick with a pie fresh out of the oven. Same results.
11 years ago
@Dysitis. yeah ive honestly tried the banana thing, except i didnt peel it, i just cut off one end with a knife and squeezed all the goop out after i microwaved it for about 20 seconds. it fuckin sucks, its a mess, makes your wang all sticky, SUPER loud squishing noises, banana goop bits flying everywhere cuz the damn thing falls apart so easy. and plus i wasted 2 other bananas before it because my wang wouldnt fit. you can never truly tell how big your wang is until youve tried to put it into stuff.

@kodega. thats weird mine doesnt turn into glue at all, in fact just the opposite. just turns into slippery slime that comes off easily with soap and water (which i assume you tried before ripping your nutsack hairs out)
11 years ago
ha :D good point jabber, ill have you know my pinky is fairly long thank you
11 years ago
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