points: 16

If Any Of You Tell, I'll Kill You

The old woman who died left me her garage code, sometime when I'm drunk, I eat there

featuredmuchoers gone wild

by toolman961

submitted September 12th 2015

83 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
tagged:
comments (83)
I'm up voting this mother fucker. Go break in too your neighbor's house and video it and let's see who gets arrested first.
2 years ago
"left you the code" ≠ "breaking in to"
2 years ago
you should have seen if they had any spoons....
2 years ago
That's like me "breaking into" my neighbors house, since they gave me a key to their place
2 years ago
The new neighbors never replaced their garage door opener. A mother and daughter with kids, do you really think they know how it works?
2 years ago
They will once you "explain your story" to the cops...
2 years ago
Assuming you don't get shot
2 years ago
Your videos aren't funny at all :(
2 years ago
This is reality woman!

* toolman961 left his email on the post that you requested *
2 years ago
I saw, I already sent you a picture. It doesn't matter if this is reality or not. It isn't funny, weird, gruesome or sexy. It has no place :(
2 years ago
Wait, am I still on Mucho Dorothy?
2 years ago
No
2 years ago
Then fuck your heart!
2 years ago
youre wrong toaster strudel..toolman is funny pretty much 84% of the time
2 years ago
That's the only reason why I buy your shit Billy!
2 years ago
I don't think they get it
2 years ago
* ClaudeBallz imagines this on the local news tomorrow.... *
2 years ago
"A Pittsburgh family returned from vacation to find their home invaded, and their dog molested." "The thieves recorded their break-in and posted the footage online"
2 years ago
I said I'd kill you.
2 years ago
when you come for a Penguins-capitals game!
2 years ago
Notice I didn't capitalize the C!
2 years ago
It will be a grand time.
2 years ago
You're a capital C.
2 years ago
Don't tell anybody or I'll have to kill you.
2 years ago
Also, kidnap that Shepherd and send her to me.
2 years ago
dognap
2 years ago
Hey, my neighbors have an obnoxious dog you can come molest.... video is optional....
2 years ago
That's my adopted retard.
2 years ago
Grrrrrrrrudge fuck.
2 years ago
Notice, she went straight for the dick.
I trained her well.
2 years ago
Did you use chunky or creamy?
2 years ago
Dug's moonshine has my dick in the dirt.
2 years ago
She's a natural.
2 years ago
Does that mean that it fell off or that you can't stand up?
2 years ago
I think it's a euphemism =(
2 years ago
I'm ascared to stand up right now. I might fall down.
2 years ago
Toolmans peepee

https://youtu.be/eRI4PvKVf0g
2 years ago
That's not right.
2 years ago
You probably want to stay low to the floor, tool. And pre-dial 9-1-1 on your cell.
2 years ago
That's my code
2 years ago
Mr. Toaster does that, it creeps me out man
2 years ago
Maybe we're related/
2 years ago
We could invade neighbors together.
2 years ago
He's not allowed to invade neighbors sorry :( Not unless it's for 'murika
2 years ago
Well give me a shot of murika too and we'll invade your cuntry.
2 years ago
I'm pretty sure you'd regret that :s
2 years ago
I guess, I'm sorry is in order.
2 years ago
Was she a great big fat person?
2 years ago
haha
2 years ago
She's on her way.
2 years ago
We are talking about a woman, correct?
2 years ago
I think he was asking about your neighbor?
2 years ago
Ha Ha, I get the fat joke.
2 years ago
But you'll never hear me say, "does this dick make me look fat"
2 years ago
I don't think you do.
2 years ago
Hey alright that's my sub I'm seeing on your computer.

Wait does that mean you're sub is a partial repost??
:(
;)
2 years ago
What ever floats your boat whunu.

* toolman961 likes the new whunu *
2 years ago
Whu who?
2 years ago
;)
2 years ago
Look in the mirror.
2 years ago
I see a middle aged man with a little weight and an unshaved face.

Oh and my buzzed on schnapps look.
2 years ago
Hey Toolman?
2 years ago
You gonna be up a bit longer?

Got something up my sleeve
2 years ago
Guess you went nighty night.
2 years ago
good night to all those who deserve it
2 years ago
That's a good saying,I should steal that one.
2 years ago
You better not faggot that's my line come up with your own shit
2 years ago
Don't be biting daddys rhymes
2 years ago
Well guess Mucho is dead for the night.

Called have been a another road trip of sorts toolman.
2 years ago
What?
2 years ago
My head hurts
My feet stink
& I don't love jebus this morning
Thanks Dug
2 years ago
I bet the neighbours come back some times and think to themselves "I don't remember leaving that turd in the toilet... And why do my tins of beer smell like arse on the rim?"
2 years ago
And why are all my panties simmering on the stove?
2 years ago
Hmm.. this mayonnaise got lumpy.
2 years ago
And why is there a Pringle's can duct-taped to the fan?
2 years ago
wait... why is there a pringles can duct-taped to the fan?
2 years ago
That could go so wrong if you went in dry
2 years ago
What about the salt in the Pringle's can?
2 years ago
You guys have me all wrong.
2 years ago
I have had coke episodes scarier than this
acid episodes scarier than this
even pot episodes scarier than this

my point?

i have no idea
2 years ago
upvote
2 years ago
recover password
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