points: 24

The Future Is Here

NSFW

The Oculus Rift is sure to change the way people masturbate forever. In fact, it might eventually eliminate sex all together. Those virtual reality chicks never nag you to clean the garage after you spill a load all over them.

featuredsexy

by NemesisJames

submitted May 26th 2015

191 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
tagged:
comments (191)
interesting
2 years ago
as long as they don't sell it in a bundle with the cock-ulus stiff-t (clever right?) it is gonna do change diddly squat about the way people masturbate. as it is right now, oculus will barely even change gaming and will go the way of VR, the virtua boy and motion controls.
2 years ago
english please
2 years ago
It's a paragraph of Seagull being a balloon popper.
2 years ago
that much i knew
2 years ago
Yes, you're right, Steven. It will be yet another HUGE waste of money and will be forgotten about very soon.
2 years ago
I still want One though.
2 years ago
apart from the content itself, this is a prime example on how to sub: useful tags, a sharp description and a snappy title. very well done.

the vid is shit though.
2 years ago
it is hot
2 years ago
I thought the bid was funny.
2 years ago
Vid
2 years ago
it doesnt have any germans in bathtubs
2 years ago
Noone asked you for your opinion on this steven...
2 years ago
* possum brohugs basher *
2 years ago
you don't really "get" the internet, do you seal?

here's a hint: who exactly asked for your opinion on my opinion?
see how this works?
2 years ago
oh, and possum. we are enemies at this point you little bitch.

i am not even kidding one bit, i've had it with your self-righteous shit.

UP TO HERE, YOU WANNABE WHIMSICAL LOSER!
2 years ago
shove a towel pole up your ass and jizz on polaroids of your dead cripple wife.
2 years ago
Gotta fit the scanner in there somewhere, too.
2 years ago
wow
2 years ago
is my work here done then?
2 years ago
wait ... was Mrs Possum a crip
2 years ago
No, she was a Blood.
2 years ago
Bruh, she was Rolling 60s
2 years ago
2 years ago
I had a cutlass on 24s when I was a teenager.
2 years ago
Yeah, you really can't have rims like that in this part of the world. The potholes will eat them.
2 years ago
The streets in Miami weren't forgiving.
2 years ago
Yeah, but you guys also don't have much of a winter there.
2 years ago
I traded that for a raised bronco with mud tires. Could barely hear the radio over the tires whirring.
2 years ago
did you call it boogieloo?
2 years ago
The winter lasts like a whole week, it's rough.
2 years ago
yes, poss, you're done. after 8 years you can finally fuck off for good, you miserable cunt.
2 years ago
I'd just like to see what he really looks like.
2 years ago
but i dont WANNA go now
2 years ago
i was just starting to bond with Terri-Jane
2 years ago
well, i hope your house-hunting leaves you in the tr zone of "recurring mucho guest player that has to rely on public wi-fi due to homelessness"
2 years ago
Possum isn't really homeless. Right?
2 years ago
not yet - i got an extension for another month
2 years ago
I think he's just moving, Suge. Possum has a tendency to exaggerate.
2 years ago
but speaking of house-hunting...took the day off to do some so i better get at it
2 years ago
You should spend today watching Property Brothers.
2 years ago
YEAH YOU BETTER!!!






BYE!!
2 years ago
I thought you and Possum were butt buddies.
2 years ago
bye bye you cuddly piece of schnitzel
2 years ago
we have our on and offs, but lately poss' self-appointed posish of mucho mascot annoys the shit out of me.

he's been playing "LOOKITME" for 8 years now, yet gets off on calling everyone else an AW every chance he gets. double standard spineless backstabbing little bitch.

once a snitch always an asshole i guess.
2 years ago
And his subs suck too. Don't forget about that.
2 years ago
Just the music videos.
2 years ago
That's like 90%
2 years ago
Eh, it's still better than 90% reposts, I guess *COUGH* *Squidley* *COUGH*
2 years ago
Steven....dont you see how you make an ass of you're self every time you comment? Maybe you should think first before you type. At least once...
2 years ago
You're the worst troll ever...try to grow up
2 years ago
My name isn't Steven, dicknose.
2 years ago
Don't talk to Steven like that.

He's fragile.
2 years ago
noone asked for your opinion on this seal
2 years ago
na, fällt der groschen?
2 years ago
Seal, I would like to know your opinion on this matter.
2 years ago
Do you think you're troll avatar about some not so famous anymore celeberty is funny?
2 years ago
Is Seal another fucking German?
2 years ago
Let's step aside here...it's about to get more German than David Hasselhoff eating spatzle in an Audi on his way to Stuttgart.
2 years ago
what gave it away, his piss poor english or his lack of humor bones?
2 years ago
He doesn't make sense
2 years ago
Fuck of with you're humor for 3 years old...
2 years ago
*your
2 years ago
Steven is no true german
2 years ago
just as with possum, the mirroring is what annoys me.

poss calling me an AW, seal calling me a troll... like they have no perception of self whatsoever.
2 years ago
We call people like him "sozial schmarotzer" in our cuntry
2 years ago
That's pretty much what everyone here does.
2 years ago
Possum called you AW? that's it


* tinski resigns *
2 years ago
smarter ppl than you tried this seal....
2 years ago
I am a mucho veteran. You are just a shit spammer
2 years ago
Possums been quitting this place ever since I logged back in.
2 years ago
grasping intensifies
2 years ago
Steven_Seagull has been here for 9 years, Seal. You have been here for 4. At least make an effort.
2 years ago
Tryed what? I am just sick of you're lack of self reflexion. Its like you're not learning from you're mistakes
2 years ago
* loslobos acid reflexes *
2 years ago
Holy fuck, just type in German you illiterate AIDS carrier.
2 years ago
Nigga, if you say you're wrong one more time....
2 years ago
checks list:

we had

hartz

troll

ungerman

spammer

no true muchoer


my calculations indicate that next there will be rehab and drug jokes followed by something about abs and getting pussy.

after that seal will piss off for several weeks, then come back and restart the routine.
2 years ago
Seal, you're not a vet
2 years ago
Jeah but he never understood the culture on this site in this 9 years
2 years ago
Explain the culture for us
2 years ago
Wut
2 years ago
now it's just getting embarrassing
2 years ago
Mucho has culture now? Cool.
2 years ago
Wait, this is a culture?
2 years ago
Rape culture.
2 years ago
Seagull, I don't think you and abs will ever be brought up in the same sentence.
2 years ago
I'm okay with it
2 years ago
No, cultures are those things that they grow in laboratories.
2 years ago
Well, i just proved myself wrong
2 years ago
It's a culture club of sorts and Seal is Boy George
2 years ago
I don't think seagull can recover from a trashing like this.
2 years ago
i was bored today and used my gf's conditioner.... i have lush feathery 80's hair, i look like the kid on the kinder chocolate box.

and now i will take that utterly ridiculous look to the pub with no fucks given.

laters taters
2 years ago
I'm sure he'll be fine
2 years ago
"Muchomuchomucho chameeeleeeeonnn.... ya come an gooooo"
2 years ago
That was....gay
2 years ago
*German
2 years ago
"You log in and go prooo-ooo"
2 years ago
Yea well. It's his culture
2 years ago
True, true.
2 years ago
All that for nothing. I was ready to turn up.
2 years ago
Hows about just fuck off
2 years ago
Shut up grosslobos.

*slaps mako and throws a chair*
2 years ago
* Mako goes to find that fuckin puma alt *
2 years ago
Wtf did I do?
Where's Sealbasher, did he get run offt?
2 years ago
Everyone disbursed
2 years ago
I hope so. He butchers the English language like no other.
2 years ago
I rather snitch that fucker out than react to his shenanigans

Good chat
2 years ago
Autocurrekt
2 years ago
stephen, the think is, your post are so self shaming that i have to point out the opvious from time to time
2 years ago
the b and the p and nowhere near each other
2 years ago
i dont run of, i just think before i type, not like you..
2 years ago
Autocorrect works most of the time
2 years ago
Lmfao
2 years ago
Yeah, he obviously thinks before he types.
2 years ago
Eh, tieping wrawng es fun, innit guyz?
2 years ago
i give you guys good arguments to this discussion and all you can reply is "hur dur" youre grammer is shit
2 years ago
you're definitely grammar shit
2 years ago
You can't type for shit, can't troll for shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks because you are going out.
2 years ago
I don't even know what you want to get across here. Besides fucking up every chance of making a point
2 years ago
I try to educate you idiots
2 years ago
Educate yourself with an English dictionary
2 years ago
You can't educate me, I'm an Operating Thetan
2 years ago
You know. Doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, policemen, firemen, pssh. There's no one who can help but you.
2 years ago
L. Ron 4 lyfe!
2 years ago
Bestest thread in quite some time.
2 years ago
*best
2 years ago
You never heard of the "superduperlative" ?
2 years ago
the pub sucked. if i wanted to get drunk while being shunned by old farts and idiots i might as well do it here.
2 years ago
Is that why you're such a prick at times? Everybody shuns you
2 years ago
i am NEVER a prick!!
2 years ago
you fucking bean junkie
2 years ago
go offline steve...
2 years ago
Bean junkie? =(
2 years ago
you mainlined pintos for almost 10 years, dont play dumb with me!
2 years ago
and seal, just stop. seriously. stop. that hole is deep enough for one night.
2 years ago
like the vagina hole of your whore mother?
2 years ago
It's like a German version of Whunu.
2 years ago
that was literally the first time you used "your/ you're" right today, kudos.

and she died last month you insensitive prick.
2 years ago
proof or did not happen
2 years ago
It's "pics or it didn't happen," fuckin' moron.
2 years ago
i have pics of the grave, the corpse and the obit. and no, i wont post em. so there...
2 years ago
How is it that one kraut speaks perfect English, and the other doesn't even try? Seagull could almost be a tobacco auctioneer completely in English, and this androgynous prick can't form a sentence.
2 years ago
andro what?
2 years ago
because i dont have to try so hard to be "cool" an "intelligent"
2 years ago
What's wrong, too big of a word for you?
2 years ago
i just write what i have in mind, that how i roll..
2 years ago
which is the exact opposite of cognitive effort. you act on impulse alone.

like a girl
2 years ago
a teenage girl
2 years ago
with deep-seated insecurities
2 years ago
and small breasts
2 years ago
says the drug abuser...
2 years ago
You called it, Steve.
2 years ago
i dont have to drink my ass off to feel secure
2 years ago
hey! i was always super nice to those drugs!!
2 years ago
btw, there's another box to tick on the "list of predictable seal bullshit"
2 years ago
I like how because you speak proper English, you're trying to be "cool," bird. If that's all it talk, half of Europe would be considered "cool." And we certainly know that isn't the case. Ah, today has been fun.
2 years ago
he is trying so hard....thats my point
2 years ago
to be funny etc.
2 years ago
Who gives a fuck?
2 years ago
seal, i'm not. i been using english every day for the last 20 years.
every. fucking. day. i love this language. to you it's a means to an end you have no qualms with abusing, to me it's the lego star destroyer, castle greyskull and boobs rolled into one, aka the most amazing toy imaginable.

you struggle, i play.

you fight, i just win.
2 years ago
* Steven_Seagull runs of to copyright "castle boobskull destroyer" *
2 years ago
thats what i mean...
2 years ago
I'm just surprised they had He-Man in Germany.
2 years ago
yes, nigger, that is playing.
2 years ago
you really don't get it do you?

THIS

IS FUN!

my idea of fun at least. and you hate it, cuz it goes way over your head. but that lies with you, not me. go to fucking krautchan if this place is too much of a struggle for you.
2 years ago
you dont get it idiot
2 years ago
whatever, i won
2 years ago
and some of us have to work tomorrow. good night
2 years ago
well wow
2 years ago
low blow seal.
2 years ago
and that is a run-off
2 years ago
and a win
2 years ago
"I'm leaving, I won." What a brainless douche.
2 years ago
funniest vid I've seen in a while
2 years ago
your face is funny
2 years ago
description was poor though
2 years ago
your face is poor
2 years ago
judging by the mansion he lived in you'd think he could afford a real woman
2 years ago
The kid appeared to be Asian. At that age, all they're allowed to do is math.
2 years ago
The mansion is part of the simulation.

Or a subtle comment on the occulus pricing.
2 years ago
I was gonna say, it's probably not worth the money.
2 years ago
i just saw that the dev kit 2 is only 350$ right now. so yeah, still not worth it atm, but way less expensive than i thought.
2 years ago
Still more expensive than a decent hooker.
2 years ago
I like the clipping of textures... then ragdoll Lara at the end. Fucking awesome.
2 years ago
that is in fact the oculus in a nutshell. too bad the video didnt show the low pixel density and visible scan lines.
2 years ago
i had the chance to try out the oculus a couple weeks ago. go find the AW sub of me sitting on the iron throne, all the details are in a thread there. if you're interested that is...
2 years ago
I don't want to have sex with a black man, or any man for that matter.
2 years ago
uuhhhm.....

right.
2 years ago
You don't have to lie.
2 years ago
recover password
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