points: -23

Winterball

Immortal and Miley Cyrus mash-up. Kind of

music videos

by loslobos

submitted December 20th 2014

273 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
tagged:
comments (273)
uncool storytimes with jrob: yesterday i tried pooping out this turd but as soon as it would reash the widest part it was too much for my tigh virgin b-hole to bear so i would let it come back into my intestines to give it a go another time,i went to the toilet probably 30 times yesterday trying to push that beast out,this turd had my ass gaped open bigger than a hot kinky jo video.....so finally i got tired of being in severe pain and said yolo this bitch is coming out.........so i got it to the rim so my ass was gaped wide open and started to try and manually break it apart.....after much coaxing and poop on my fingers i finally smoothed it around the rim enough to push it out,most painful and satisfying experience ever........i now think i know what childbirth feels like.......if i didnt have to break it it probably wouldve been a world record shit.........moral of the story.....eat more fiber
3 years ago
Care to grace us with a photo of your deflowered poop-shoot, it's xmas soon n all...
3 years ago
http://i.imgur.com/SmAjysk.jpg
3 years ago
Merry Yolomas
3 years ago
I didn't read this thread, what is that picture? It looks like some kind of zoomed in nebula picture...beautiful.
3 years ago
it's like the eye of sauron
3 years ago
its a close up of a volcano on uranus
3 years ago
I can't fap to nebulas
3 years ago
i cropped and zoomed for your viewing pleasure
3 years ago
http://i.imgur.com/0FvfA9e.png
3 years ago
What's that, like a cupholder?
3 years ago
do you mean a coaster?
3 years ago
Congrats, jrob. You had a bowel obstruction.
3 years ago
so that's where he's been
3 years ago
dude,it was hard as a rock...i took some laxative but that shit takes too long to work and i couldnt even sit down
3 years ago
felt like someone shoved a broomstick up my ass and broke it off
3 years ago
Yeah, sounds like it was right there in your rectum but was just too hard to pass, jrob. You're lucky it did pass-my cousin had to have surgery.
3 years ago
i had to help it out,there was no way it was coming out,id sit there and push then id get to a certain width and the pain was unbearable so i sucked it back in :(
3 years ago
It's funny, because doctors say it happens a lot more this time of year, but it makes sense: People overeat more often, and eat foods that are rich and that they probably don't consume all year long.
3 years ago
Next time just hire a Korean hooker to assist. What did you name it?
3 years ago
Rollo
3 years ago
good call
3 years ago
because of the butthurt
3 years ago
^THIS!
3 years ago
and the refusal to leave amirite?
3 years ago
nah makodragon ran him off
3 years ago
He still comes around and lurks, just hits buttons now and calls us "fagetz," like a teenage child.
3 years ago
makodragon would be like my fingers digging in there and scooping the rollo out the backdoor
3 years ago
tough job but it had to be done
3 years ago
Let the hemorrhoids begin. That's how mine got started. The first enormous shit after a two week flu.
3 years ago
great..
3 years ago
only thing jrob gets for christmas....hemorrhoids
3 years ago
I got a PS3 and a hat.
3 years ago
Don't be mad, it's the first thing I've gotten in years besides a hat or a shirt.
3 years ago
Pffft. With the money you have, you can buy and sell any chump here
3 years ago
Yeah, but I'm cheap lol
3 years ago
and easy, don't forget easy
3 years ago
Nah, not easy. I'm definitely cheap, but not easy. I.E. I bought my mother a FitBit for Xmas, but I waited till they were seventy dollars instead of a hundred. Plus I got free shipping.
3 years ago
But before I dated that roller derby chick, I made sure she went both ways instead of being a full-blown dyke, like the rest of the girls on the team.
3 years ago
Roller derby... way to date yourself. LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD7UqK2GZko
3 years ago
You old fuck. ;)
3 years ago
You'd have a blast, dude. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NplfLFIDadg
3 years ago
Oh shit! That's still a thing???

Mmmmm... rough and tumble chicks - noice
3 years ago
Yeah Sprinks, I went to every Nickel City Knockouts home game last year. Plus they serve beer & wine at the bouts.
3 years ago
That's something I could get into now... back when it was first popular I was too young to drink
3 years ago
Canada has a few teams, some of which are in Ontario. Toronto has a men's an a women's team, I think.
3 years ago
All we have around these parts are cod slap-fights and sheep rodeos
3 years ago
I pushed a poop out awhile back that was so big it bruised my bunghole :( I thought I permanently broke something
3 years ago
Back in the 70's, it was like pro wrestling. Now, they're some serious athletes.
3 years ago
<---------Last year's sheep rodeo Champ
3 years ago
Eat your fiber!
3 years ago
Jen, you had an actual bruise?
3 years ago
Most likely tongue punch related...
3 years ago
* Sprinkles giggles and blushes *
3 years ago
This is the Captain of Nickel City. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/481955597592818193/
3 years ago
DEAD LINK!
3 years ago
Shit. Can you guys see this? https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2893/12416373723_72af2a442b_b.jpg
3 years ago
Erm... never mind, my cut and paste was missing a few characters
3 years ago
She kinda looks like that bull-dyke on Orange is the new black

http://pmctvline2.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/oitnb_season2_littleboo.jpg?w=600&h=884
3 years ago
Well, she is a dyke. Could kick the shit out of both of us, too lol
3 years ago
My junk just twitched...
3 years ago
* Sprinkles wonders what kind of struggle snuggle lobos would provide *
3 years ago
Yes, an actual bruise
3 years ago
They came and hugged all the fans when they won the championship. I had to resist from getting a semi.
3 years ago
Slow? Wattaya mean, slow?
3 years ago
Most of the girls are lesbians on those teams, but they show love crazy love to fans.
3 years ago
Shoulda taken a pic and posted it, Jen. Not even so much for the eroticity of it...just never seen that before.
* Mako cringes and tightens buttocks *
3 years ago
* Sprinkles picks up his dyke conversion kit (duct tape, chloroform, whiskey and weed) and plans a trip to attend the next roller derby match *
3 years ago
Nah, ya gotta go to the after party. I've never seen women drink this much in my life, but they do that instead of taking painkillers.
3 years ago
I did take a pic to send my husband, I literally saw stars
3 years ago
Ya know, for being an area of our bodies where shit exits from, buttholes are surprisingly fragile. I sometimes see the ads of an Asian girl taking an anal pounding here, and I'm like "How in the hell...?"
3 years ago
what a shitty thread
3 years ago
Corny as fuck too
3 years ago
I didn't see any corn.
3 years ago
Many nuggets of wisdom were dropped
3 years ago
Yes, and they were quite golden.
3 years ago
i dont have solid poop anymore
3 years ago
I can shit through the eye of a needle
3 years ago
I have a 50-50 chance. Colitis kinda sucks like that.
3 years ago
My tires are usually as big as my thumb, anything larger .... :(
3 years ago
And my phone thinks turds is offensive
3 years ago
I have no idea what that means, and yet, somehow I think I understand it, Jen.
3 years ago
Oh lol
3 years ago
Autocorrect. Say no more.
3 years ago
what a tiring thread
3 years ago
Bastard phone!
3 years ago
* possum tiresocks shark *
3 years ago
I need a shower, shave and a haircut.
3 years ago
* Mako is refreshed. *
3 years ago
I literally have done the exact same thing jorby.
3 years ago
Except I was using the port-o-jon at work when I finally decided to gouge it out with my fingers :(
3 years ago
i ODed on Immodium once - had to drag out a foot-long greenish-black rope

...
3 years ago
Pepto will do that to ya too.
3 years ago
my wife was a lot less impressed with it than i was
3 years ago
"Honey look, it's like an eel!"
3 years ago
They were joost our fer a rip an luke wot dey found!
3 years ago
wtf are you people eating?!
3 years ago
I keep asking myself that same question, Heather. I've never had problems with blockage.
3 years ago
I had a massive hard turd a while back. Spent so long on the toilet that my legs fell asleep, but I finally got the bastard out.

I tore something and bled from my asshole every time I pooped for a while. Fiber and a lot of water is your friend, people!
3 years ago
Incidentally, I've had several roller derby chicks as patients. Some were lesbians, some were not. All were pretty cool chicks, most of them were decent looking.

Would drink with all of them.
3 years ago
*from the furry cup
3 years ago
Unfortunately, roller derby gets the label of "lesbian NASCAR" in a lot of places. But you people with your hard turds astound me.
3 years ago
coffee and a cigarette should cure all that ails ya.
3 years ago
Mako: I wasn't drinking enough water at the time. I make sure I drink enough now, though.

Hence why toaster has dubbed herself my "hydration buddy."
3 years ago
my piss is never yellow.

Does laxative actually work when the culprit turd is nudging at your underpants?
3 years ago
i was wondering the same thing last night...
3 years ago
It shouldn't be yellow. It should be a light straw color. And yeah, laxatives work like freight trains: take forever to get there, but once it's there, nothing is stopping it.
3 years ago
I fucking OD'ed on fibre once. You know that all-bran cereal? The stuff that is just little sticks of pure ruffage? I had no other food but a bottle of milk and an unopened box of the stuff. And I was already pretty starving when before I had my first 3 huge bowls in-a-row. I planned on just eating that until it ran out.

For 24 hours, I didn't stop shitting what felt at first like smooth fudge, but later felt like sandy cement mixture with tiny glass shards. I never slept that night. Between the fiery burning anus, and the frequent, sobbing, exhausted trips to the toilet, I never saw a wink of sleep. I couldnt even cry myself to sleep, because I'd need another shit. Everytime I did, it was like I was being repeatedly raped by the sandman. Uncool times.
3 years ago
Yeah, that shit'll happen.
3 years ago
I eat all day every day. I have no problems shitting. I wish I could take more solid ones. I blame the alcohol and stress.
3 years ago
You basically strip-mined your colon, MD. Too much of anything is bad.
3 years ago
And I put my rugby bitch in a fight against roller derby girl any day.
3 years ago
You date a chick that plays rugby? My money says it's not a chick, knowing you.
3 years ago
She used to play. She left college a year or so ago. She's kind of mean and kind of a pussy at the same time. If that makes sense...
3 years ago
Yeah, smerf. I wish you could have told me sooner.

I've never eaten that shit since.
3 years ago
My guess is that she goes both ways. See, the chicks that do roller derby were born women, so they have that going for them.
3 years ago
I eat high fiber cereal every day, MD. Maybe that's why I don't have a problem.
3 years ago
She claims she doesn't but I have witness one three way incident, I had to really talk her into and she's admitted to at least one other lez session. She is really into dick though.
3 years ago
I eat fiber one fairly often now, as well. Just not multiple bowls in a row.
3 years ago
Lay it right, and they won't play for the other team, rish. At the very least you'll confuse her and she'll still be DTF.
3 years ago
yeah. I also think that my arse want used to it. It was sensitive, like a babies armpit. Now it's as sensitive as the back of a dump truck
3 years ago
I eat healthy as fuck these days. Cooking in that old folks home. I just eat more than I should and constantly. I shit like 4 times a day.
3 years ago
*wasn't
3 years ago
I eat two bowls of Kashi organic promise raisin vineyard... Rice, wheat, and quinoa flakes with sun-ripened raisins.
3 years ago
Me too, rish. Plus I'm not very active lately.
3 years ago
I talked her into a 3way with my ex. The one who's ass I posted a while back. She let my ex go down on her but wouldn't reciprocate.
3 years ago
i think a lot of half-lezzers and pressured into it by full on butch lezzers
3 years ago
*are
3 years ago
I'm not active at all. I've put on at least 20 lbs since I went on "vacation".
3 years ago
Eh, my ex still sleeps with girls and guys both. She's had better long-term luck with women.
3 years ago
yeah. I bet they were butch as fuck
3 years ago
She said of the whole rugby team she was one of 3 straight girls. And told me about how the whole team went to this lesbian party once and the lesbos were all over those 3 like frat boys on a roofied bitch.
3 years ago
Yeah, the derby girls have "derby wives" that they only fuck around with at after parties and during derby events. The presence of copious amounts of alcohol at derby functions serves to facilitate that.
3 years ago
Not her team mates, but the lesbians that were already at the party. Her team mates had to jump in and rescue them. That wasnt the ending to the story I was hoping for, but hey, I'm slowly learning life isn't always a porno.
3 years ago
I could see that, mako.
3 years ago
MD wins the poop-storyathon btw
3 years ago
My girl was also a fast pitch softball pitcher. All the signs are there. I really am puzzled as to why it was so hard to talk her into that three way.
3 years ago
...now back to rollerdykes
3 years ago
Most of the time I can't tell if they're lesbians. Some of them have the tell-tale haircuts, and they're a little more obvious.
3 years ago
That's Mucho for ya, Poss.
3 years ago
I have a good poop story that Kirk loves to bring up all the time,
3 years ago
She does have some pretty cute lesbian friends. There is one that has a Johnny Bravo haircut and could lose a few pounds but I'd love to fuck her. She's never banged a dude before...
3 years ago
One of the things derby girls have to do is exercise several hours a week with at least one other derby person to witness it.

One of the derby girls I used to work on was married to another derby girl and decided that since sex is an aerobic activity, that counted.
3 years ago
I used to know a really butch independent taxi driver that always rode with her gf, who was really feminine and blonde. The blonde confused the hell out of me, because she would always hit on me and tell me how cute I was.
3 years ago
The thing I like about rugby, derby, and mma sports... It's not always about how much pain you can dish out but how much you're willing to take.
3 years ago
They have organized practices in the WFTDA, smerf (World Flat Track Derby Association). The dykeness really comes out during those.
3 years ago
What was the roller derby movie with the little gay chick from Juno? I watched that a few times. It had some boner material in it.
3 years ago
I have a theory about some lesbians: they're actually bi but got pulled into this insular fold by a bunch of lesbians and convinced they can't have it both ways.

A chick like that is why I can now claim I turned a lesbian back toward men. She's married to a guy now. They have a daughter.
3 years ago
Whip It?
3 years ago
Yes. Whip it.
3 years ago
And I agree, smerf. It all goes to the whole circle of friends thing.
3 years ago
There's a funny B-horror movie called Hell On Wheels that is required roller derby watching, too.
3 years ago
Mako, I know about the WFTDA practices. I also know about the post-season after parties: basically a pub crawl, but instead of pubs in Seattle, they all go down to Portland and hit the strip clubs.
3 years ago
Like in Chasing Amy when she told her gay friends she was seeing a guy. They were obviously disappointed in her.
3 years ago
Smerf, please don't tell me you're a chiropractor. I'd lose what little respect I have for you.
3 years ago
That was my second girlfriend in college. She'd been dating girls for a few years, and then I came along.
3 years ago
Okay, you do know your shit then, smerf lol.
3 years ago
rish: physical therapist
3 years ago
He'll, I could've told you about the pub crawl thing. That's any fringe violent team sport thing.
3 years ago
My ex was a blocker, but that's cause she was tall. You say "blocker" in derby, and people automatically think you're a lardass that can't skate.
3 years ago
Thank god! I hate chiropractors.
3 years ago
...I have several chiropractors in my family.
3 years ago
But yeah, there are some pretty terrible chiropractors out there, and a bunch that are just trying to get people in more than they need to.
3 years ago
I can't remember what my chicks position was called. But I do know it was her and one other that made the first hit after they kick the ball to the other team. They'd ask the kicker which direction and if the first girl missed the hit the second one drilled her.
3 years ago
Here's my thing about a chiropractor, and smerf, correct me if I'm wrong: He aligns your spine, but not necessarily in the way it should be. Everyone is different anatomically. Plus, you have to keep going back once you start going, because you get out of "alignment."
3 years ago
I had one on my bjj team that I saw all the time. I also did pest control in an apartment complex next to Life college. Nothing but students. I just really dislike them as a people in general.
3 years ago
This guy would ask what was bothering me and no matter what I said, give me the exact same adjustment. And we'd all go in together because he treated the team for free. So we'd pile into his office and bullshit while he adjusted us, he did everyone the exact same way.
3 years ago
Mako: not exactly. It's kinda like being within tolerance: everyone should be relatively similar, but there will be individual variations. That's why they always ask "does this hurt" when poking around.

My problem with a lot of chiropractors is that they never consider that it might NOT be the spine that's causing the problem.
3 years ago
And they claim it can cure anything. He even said that it could cure athsma. How can adjusting my spine cure pulmonary inflammation?
3 years ago
Wow, okay, so they do take it a bit too far.
3 years ago
Well, there's some legitimate statements about the spine affecting things like the body's inflammatory and stress response, especially through the thoracic spine
3 years ago
They're the crazy fuckers that say don't inoculate your kids and shit like that. Every form of "medicine" is wrong except for theirs.
3 years ago
Curiously, he used to buy oxys off of me...
3 years ago
My back is loaded with pinched nerves and I have more than one disc bulge in my neck. Anyone that's had back surgery for herniated discs or nerve problems tells me the same thing: Don't get the surgery done.
3 years ago
Ugh... Every chiropractor I've met has inoculated their kids.
3 years ago
-g
3 years ago
And I hate anti-vaxxers too. Such mislead people.
3 years ago
I think the crazy fuckers that are more like to not inoculate their kids are the homeopathy and natural medicine people.
3 years ago
From what I hear, it's actually rich people, smerf. Celebs, especially.
3 years ago
"But it might give children autism!" Yeah, and if you don't then a hell of a lot more kids ARE GONNA FUCKING DIE.

And no, it does not give them autism.
3 years ago
Yeah, poor people can't afford to let their kids get sick.
3 years ago
darwin...
3 years ago
Yeah, they point to the mercury in the syringe as causing autism, meanwhile there's probably more mercury in tap water lmao
3 years ago
More mercury in their sushi, how's that?
3 years ago
yeah, no shit. Especially in tuna.
3 years ago
Besides, it's ethyl-mercury. That gets flushed out.
3 years ago
Exactly. It's nowhere near enough to cause a long-term problem. I'll take a little mercury over measles, mumps, or rubella any day.
3 years ago
I like poop stories.
3 years ago
I think everybody secretly does.
3 years ago
Maybe it's time to take a Squid (self-imposed subbing ban), lobos
3 years ago
think aboot it
3 years ago
Why should I care what you have to say
3 years ago
You responded, so obviously you do.

* Sprinkles na-na-na-na-boo-boo's the girl who has a crush on him *
3 years ago
WOULD YOU TWO JUST GET IT OVER WITH AND FUCK ALREADY???
3 years ago
I'm just waiting for her to admit it to herself and everyone else... :(

3 years ago
* Sprinkles looks at lobos's tub pic and sighs *
3 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0LAs7X5ybE
3 years ago
You gotta admit, the old guy on the pogo stick with two trumpets had skill.
3 years ago
LOVE STINKS!
3 years ago
I remember dancing with my aunt to that song as a child.
3 years ago
thats hot
3 years ago
We hate each other.
3 years ago
Why do I have the sudden urge to listen to Spinal Tap?
3 years ago
And why is Burger King bringing back the Yumbo? Nobody ate it back then, either.
3 years ago
It's a fucking ham sandwich. I mean, really?
3 years ago
WOW... KISS is really reaching and grasping these days.
3 years ago
Fucking clowns.
3 years ago
Happy b-day, you crooked fucker...

3 years ago
or m-day
3 years ago
It's time to celebrate!!!
3 years ago
Celebrate like Watergate!!!!
3 years ago
I remember Sprinks Mucho day. Not one person congratulated. Says alot
3 years ago
Ooh, ouch.
3 years ago
* Sprinkles passes around hammers and reel-to-reel tapes, then opens the door for the trannys *
3 years ago
"ITS A CELEBRATION!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JN2Hz5JFyo
3 years ago
Damn....

Good thing my self-worth isn't dependent on this now, isn't it, LOBOS?
3 years ago
*this site
3 years ago
I think you care alot what everyone thinks about you
3 years ago
If you didn't you would ignore me.
3 years ago
Who doesn't, to a certain extent?

You, on the other hand... well... this site is your life.
3 years ago
Good thing I have you to decide what my life consists of and matters.
3 years ago
You'd shrivel up and die if you didn't have this place
3 years ago
We all would... we all would.
3 years ago
Is that so. Like I said, good thing you know everything already. Saves the debate
3 years ago
Happy MsDay Nixon. And no belated Mucho day grats for Sprinks
3 years ago
BB, you know I like it when you're mean to me...

3 years ago
way to ruin the celebration by the way...
3 years ago
I'm listening to LEGO "everybody's happy" so nothing can phase the celebration.
3 years ago
BTW I changed the lyrics from everything is awesome to everybody's happy....
3 years ago
hb nix
3 years ago
Possum!!!!
3 years ago
how does it feel to be ten?
3 years ago
I feel old enough to know better but still to young to care...
3 years ago
*too
3 years ago
* possum spellingnazis off *
3 years ago
HMBD good fellow
3 years ago
No. Bad LosLobos! Bad!

* smerf rolls up the newspaper *
3 years ago
Too vanilla for you?
3 years ago
wow!

like six new spam accounts created in the last hour.... mucho is on a good way!

* Steven_Seagull logs the fuck out *
3 years ago
ye-ah! fuck those fucking spammy alts!
3 years ago
indeed!
3 years ago
maybe its a sign for everyone to get the fuck off the internet and go outside.
3 years ago
It's too fuckin' cold for that.
3 years ago
no one said you had to stay there
3 years ago
Okay, but I already got the mail today.
3 years ago
i been outside all day. rocked work, met friends, had awesome vietnamese food and got deunk on beers and whisky. then i decided to check up on you guyses and got depressord immediates.

i miss zeke.
3 years ago
Oh yeah, you know how to live, Steve.
3 years ago
* Steven_Seagull flashes made-up gang-signs at no one in particular *
3 years ago
living is easy, being awes at it is the hard part. but luckily i got a black belt in kung fun
3 years ago
GONNA GO TO THE CIRCUS NEXT SUNDAy!!
3 years ago
Sure, getting drunk and eating Asian food, that's how ya do it.
3 years ago
boo circus
3 years ago
no, having friends, shit that gives you purpose and having shit you enjoy and having shit you look forward to and having shit you wanna achieve is how you do it.



i'm german, so shit always is an integral part of happiness
3 years ago
Yes, I realize that shit is integral to Germans. Mucho has taught us that.
3 years ago
it's peta proof i think, no animals just weird humans, zeke de soleil style!
3 years ago
oh cirque do soleil, fine
3 years ago
god, the money i woukd oay to see an actual zeke de soleil!
3 years ago
i've been twice, they're awesome
3 years ago
not the actual cirque de soleil -they dont get here tik next october- but in the same vein
3 years ago
ahh
3 years ago
just imagine zeke in glammy spandex doing weird contortions on a pedestal, topping of his act with 'the candy cane' !
3 years ago
Yeah, puma has been trying again. Yak's got him on autoban.

There may be a case of muchoaids coming up
3 years ago
"i call this one the sambucca sault"

*zeke downs bottle, lifts one leg, falls over, mumbles 'imma piss', does that... audience goes wild*
3 years ago
"i call this one 'i have to change my life' "

*zeke stands perfectly still for 5 years*
3 years ago
THIS CONCEPT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL!
3 years ago
" I call this: The Driving Range!" *zeke mimics golf swing and falls over*
3 years ago
worst,circus,ever.
3 years ago
if by worst you mean best then yes
3 years ago
Come for the display of human misery, stay for the Slam Poetry.
3 years ago
"i call this one 'my one true love' "

*zeke picks random female audience member and creeps her the fuck out for months*
3 years ago
"i call this 'I'm sober'"

*zeke downs a bottle of sambucca*
3 years ago
"i call this one 'logs the fuck out' "

*seagull stays logged in, makes silly comments*
3 years ago
recover password
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