points: 37

the hacker becomes the hacked

Love triangle gets a computer tech dismembered. /me spares ms the long winded details of a horribly translated copypasta.

featuredgross

by severum

submitted October 16th 2014

186 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
the hacker becomes the hacked
tagged:
comments (186)
this has a Dexterish feel to it....
3 years ago
hehehe, Doxter!!!
3 years ago
"Dexterish?"
3 years ago
Oh look, dismembered body parts in a trash bag. Dexter! Hurhurhurhur
3 years ago
like the tv show, shark
3 years ago
Never heard of it.
3 years ago
i just call that tuesday, sev
3 years ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dexter_%28TV_series%29

good show if you quit after season 4
3 years ago
Great, you and your fuckin wiki links again. Dude, I don't watch the shit that cable companies feed us. SOA, this walking dead shit, etc.
3 years ago
first 3 seasons of SOA were great as well. walking dead sucks, always. video games, comics, books, tv show, it's just an all-around awful IP
3 years ago
and speaking of dexter, the first 3 books are good too.

show is based on the books but deviates from them more and more over time
3 years ago
None of the new zombie stuff compares to the Romero movies from back in the day.
3 years ago
except shaun
3 years ago
The problem I have with shows like SOA, Breaking Bad, Weeds, etc. is that people watch that bullshit and think they know ALL there is to know about bikers, meth, and drug dealing. And then I hear "But the show is so much more than that! It's about these people and what they go through!" I got my own problems-last thing I wanna do is watch a show about yours.
3 years ago
Yeah Shaun was class.
3 years ago
Shaun of the Dead was pretty good. I can watch the zombie bullshit when there's a touch of humor added.
3 years ago
It has to have some humor to it, which Romero always added. like the guy getting his blood pressure taken, when a zombie rips his arm off in dawn. Fucking stupid but funny.
3 years ago
Weeds had laughs and tits. Breaking Bad was just plain awesome beginning to end and SOA used to be a modernized Hamlet set in a biker club before it went tits up and turned ridiculous.
3 years ago
Like I said before, you use wikipedia and you're German, so I can't trust your judgment.
3 years ago
Zack Snyder's remake of Dawn of the Dead was great! LOVED IT!
3 years ago
I never bothered with weeds of soa, purely because Ron Pearlmans head puts me in a bad mood. And yeah breaking bad was the shit.
3 years ago
and the point is to watch fictional ppls problems in order to forget or at least feel better about your own... it's called "escapism".

this one dude, he has no shirt, no shoes, feet full of glass shards, is estranged from his wife and hunted by killers for hours.
his name is john mcclane, his problems are way worse than yours and watching him is one of the best things in the world...escapsim!
3 years ago
yes punky, the dotd remake was amazing
3 years ago
Not my fault you can't deal with your problems, bird. Maybe you should find inspiration to do that in something that's actually real, versus watching overpaid people pretending to be something that they're not. No matter what, you'll always have your problems.
3 years ago
"you use wikipedia" is almost as valid as "you poop", "you breathe", "you google" or "OMFG THERES TOWELS IN YOUR BATHROOM???"
3 years ago
Well, at least one can find factual info by using google. Wikipedia can be edited by anyone, anywhere, anytime. It's to the point that college professors will not accept a paper with wiki references now.
3 years ago
shark, die hard. DIE. FUCKING. HARD!

gruber, mcclane, hohoho machine gun and all that. escapism....

instead of shitting on me once again without reason you should just admit that watching die hard is the best thing ever.... right behind sexy times.

escapism.
3 years ago
that is such a tr argument... there's sources on wiki,

there's no sources on your towels.
3 years ago
Umm, why would I admit that? Your hero is not a real person, never has been, and never will be. And I'm not shitting on you, you're just an overtly sensitive sheep that can't handle it when someone disagrees with you.
3 years ago
Wtf is this "towel" shit? More German references that nobody understands?
3 years ago
HE IS REAL DAMMIT!! HE SAVED NEW YORK TOGETHER WITH SAM JACKSON!!!
3 years ago
Okay, now you're just acting like a child.
3 years ago
seriously. you don't like die hard?
3 years ago
It was kinda played out after the first movie. All the sequels were the same old guy, doing the same shit, with different enemies.
3 years ago
Once they got to the point of A Good Day to Die Hard, making a story about a drunk NYC cop that saves the world kinda got old and stupid.
3 years ago
i wouldnt say played out. every movie in the OT had its flaws and its merits. and just like with star wars or indy, i refuse to acknowledge anything post OT
3 years ago
OT? wtf are you talking about? English motherfucker, do you speak it?! Yeah, you'll recognize that movie too.
3 years ago
same goes for pirates of the carribean btw
3 years ago
OT = Original Trilogy
3 years ago
Thank god, Ben Affleck got skipped over on this one.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=akX3Is3qBpw

3 years ago
OT=abbreviation for overtime. And I'm worried about what Disney is going to do to Star Wars. And Idk what Lucas was smoking when he thought we wanted to see Darth Vader as a little boy. Maybe he's into little kids, I don't know.
3 years ago
And yeah, he new Mad Max looks like shit, Punky. You can't remake a movie like that, it would be like Die Hard without Bruce Willis.
3 years ago
I talked about a movie earlier, but gull blanked me like a cunt. Cheap thrills, a low budget black comedy, i happened to get it because David Koechner from Anchorman was in it. I wasn't expecting it to be as fucked up and violent as it was. I highly recommend it, if looking for something to watch.
3 years ago
I'm sure the new Max will be very entertaining, Mako.
3 years ago
thing is: abrams ripped of star wars for the new trek movies. what's he gonna do now? rip off old trek for the new star wars? and why is no one worried that the two biggest and most adversary sci fi IP's of all time lie in the hands of that dude that fucked up lost, alias, cloverfield and so many other things? dsiney dont scare me, they treated marvel with respect too, but fucking jj abrams will kill star wars.
3 years ago
sorry kur, i blanked on that and was too lazy to use my towel
3 years ago
How can Abrams screw up the new Star Wars? He's a great movie director.
3 years ago
no, punky, no, he is not. never was, never will be.
3 years ago
Punky, I know that's not what you think, so stop it. Steve, I don't get into all that bullshit about directors and whatnot. The only thing Disney puts out is animated movies for children, and they occasionally regurgitate stuff they made sixty years ago-which is successful for them, don't get me wrong. I just don't want the same company that made Frozen fucking with my Star Wars.
3 years ago
i get that. but it's also the same company that made the avengers. and toy story. and pirates of the carribean. i'm just saying the fact that financial backing is done by a company that knows how to do and market big budget movies is less frightening than the fact that directing is done by a guy that knows shit all about blocking, pacing, structure, cinematography and challenging his actors.
3 years ago
Yes, it's the same company that made avengers, toy story, and pirates AKA shit for children. And I'm not wasting my time with new Star Trek movies. If the shat and the original crew aren't in it, it's not the same. The new crew is basically actors acting like the actors that played the characters on the show and movie.
3 years ago
* PunkyBruiser puts in "The Iron Giant" and opens PBR *
3 years ago
It seems to me that writers go "I liked this movie...I know, I'll write about the same people that were in it, but as kids and teenagers!" Let me put it this way: I don't care what Jaws went through when he/she was a baby or juvenile shark. But somebody at some point will probably make such a movie.
3 years ago
i did bother, and new trek sucked. avengers is childish, but it's a comic book movie, and that it is perfectly. toy story apart from being an animated kids movie is good comedy and pirates is a well-layered, surprisingly deep parable on capitalism, warring economic interests, secret societies and the fight of order versus chaos all set nicely into the structure of an adventurous silly pirate movie for kids.... i know i stand alone with this, but i truly think PotC is the best trilogy since star wars. fucking love those movies.
3 years ago
Jaws Junior. Can't wait.
3 years ago
Gums
3 years ago
yeah, i would pay good money to watch jawly brawlies
3 years ago
Yeah, thanks for the copypasta, bird lol. Pirates was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but you read way too much into it, I think. Johnny Depp made those movies. Try to imagine if George Clooney or Seth Rogan had played Jack Sparrow. Doesn't work, does it?
3 years ago
but i have to admit "piss-craving trannies 1-3" was an amzing trilogy as well
3 years ago
how was that copypasta?
3 years ago
it took me 6 viewings of the bluray collection to come up with that interpretation...
3 years ago
And shark movies now are so dumb that people will go to see them just because they're dumb. That doesn't make them good movies, it just means that people will go to see absolute shit movies if they're marketed well. To me, a movie's success is not based on how many people go to see it. Not now.
3 years ago
Piss craving trannies was a cinematic masterpiece
3 years ago
I haven't seen Pirates of the Caribbean yet. 8(

inb4 what a noob
3 years ago
will smith woulda been an awesome jack sparrow
3 years ago
No he wouldn't have. Will Smith is black. Black people were slaves back then.
3 years ago
I would love to see a new great white shark movie, that's not just tits and blood. A proper stuck in the ocean, being circled by a great white movie.Not some deep blue sea bullshit.
3 years ago
duuh, django unchained much? it's movies, man, they can do whatever they want in movies......

he was a federal agent in wild wild west ffs
3 years ago
deep blue sea was stupid, but fun.

and ll cool j's title track is a stupid but fun song.
3 years ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkKb9OvXXvk
3 years ago
And Wild Wild West sucked and was only a success because the tv show was a success, so you proved my point. And Django was an accurate depiction of life for a black man in the U.S. at that time. And men like Django actually did exist. Wild Wild West was only good for the weirdos that are into that steampunk shit.
3 years ago
Open Water was a better shark movie by leaps and bounds.
3 years ago
wild wild west was super fucking bullshit and a bad movie. django was super fucking bullshit too, but an amazing movie. my point was movies dont have to be realistic or historically accurate, they have to be fun. and captain will sparrow woulda been fun for sure.
3 years ago
Open water, was that the one with the couple diving, and the boat left them in shark infested water? Something like that with a bigger budget, and not all CGI would be perfect.
3 years ago
is open water the one with the couple in the water where nothing happens for 2 hours? yeah that was amazing----ly boring.
3 years ago
Tarantino is releasing hateful 8 next summer, that should be excellent. Kurt Russel, Sam Jackson and Christoph Waltz have all signd up, as far as i know.
3 years ago
So, Death Wish was good movie...I wouldn't exactly consider that "fun" though. Movies not having to be historically accurate or realistic while depicting realistic themes and people, as well as animals, is something I would expect a teenage kid to say. "Oh, fuck what really happened, as long as it's fun." That's why shitty movies like Sharknado made so much money.
3 years ago
i remember that being advertised as "blair witch in the sea". and that's exactly what it was, shaky cam, a couple of bad jump scares and boredom.
3 years ago
Open Water was based on a true story and used REAL SHARKS. Fuck that CGI bullshit. It's overdone in so many movies and it's a cheesy way to make a movie.
3 years ago
And tbh, I don't know what the deal was with Blair Witch, either.
3 years ago
well, nothing about pirates was remotely realistic, so will smith as pirate captain wouldve been perfectly acceptable
3 years ago
Yeah that's what i'm saying a movie of that style, big budget, real shark footage as much as possible, and more than 2 people to get killed, obviously.
3 years ago
And furthermore, Deep Blue Sea was just that: a shaky cam with that "shark pov" bullshit, a couple of jump scares, and boredom with shitty acting.
3 years ago
AND LL COOL J


WITH A FUCKING PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER!!
3 years ago
And he just added to the lameness. Rappers really need to stop doing movies. DMX couldn't take that hint either.
3 years ago
well, mos def is an okayish actor
3 years ago
Ice cube is the only rapper that pulled it off well.
3 years ago
well, ice t was okay too.surviving the game and new jack city are class.
3 years ago
And even he got chastised by the brothers for it, kurupt. Then he fucked up and did Are We There Yet? and it was downhill from there.
3 years ago
I really like Surviving the Game, too.
3 years ago
Yeah i agree with that. But Boyz and Friday he was great in.
3 years ago
And GUYS: WTF HAPPENED TO EDDIE MURPHY??? He used to be funny!
3 years ago
not since the early 90s... but yeah, i sometimes rewatch his standups and he was fucking amazing.
3 years ago
the act with the kid that got mcdonalds and dropshis burger always brings me to tears
3 years ago
Raw was one of the best stand up's of all time.
3 years ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08c0BXTVpfs
3 years ago
For real, Eddie was a pioneer for black comedians. Guys like Kevin Hart (who I personally can't stand) owe him thanks.
3 years ago
Tower heist was the last thing i saw him in, he was funny in it, but the movie itself was rubbish.
3 years ago
you like kat williams, shark?
3 years ago
Idk guys, it seems like nobody can make a good drama anymore. And people are so fucking sensitive and PC now that you can't make fun of ethnicity or background...perfect example is the movie Blazing Saddles. You couldn't make that movie now with out the NAACP, Jewish anti-defamation league, and NOW getting the panties in a bunch and calling for it to be banned. Shit, I can't even find Mandingo on Blue-Ray, and that was a great movie.
3 years ago
I like Katt, but I think it's because I can relate to a lot of the ghetto shit he talks about. That, and the story about when he first got his motorcycle makes me piss myself to this day. I do hear that he is a bit of a prick with littleman syndrome, though.
3 years ago
Don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood, was one of the funniest fucking movies that got away with taking the piss out of every ethnicity.
3 years ago
Eh, it was a parody of Boyz N' Tha Hood. I didn't really care for it.
3 years ago
After In Living Color, the Wayans bros. just didn't really do it for me.
3 years ago
A parody of all the hood movies of the early 90's. South central L.A, Menace 2 society, Juice.
3 years ago
both those movies sucked ass.
3 years ago
true, the few off stage things i saw of katt he seemed like a prick, but his stand up is great, poor lil tinktink might be my favorite.
3 years ago
I loved this part of that movie.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=unhzLjeHT9o
3 years ago
And now that the whole thing with Pistorious went down, people are remembering the tink tink skit. He was kinda unknown back then in the US.
3 years ago
You still hit like a bitch, mother fucker.
3 years ago
Severum, I'll never forget that scene either. First time I thought "Oh, this shit's gettin serious" then they bring out the jump rope LMAO
3 years ago
What ever happened to Dave Chappelle? He did a gig in NYC a while back, and the crowd kept shouting Rick James bitch, so he sat down on the stage and read a book until his set was finished and then fucked off.
3 years ago
Katt used to use my cousin's limo company now and then when he came to upstate NY. Guys that drive for him say he's really cool, and cracks jokes with them in the car.
3 years ago
I think Dave Chappelle realized that "I'm Rick James, bitch!" was the height of his career and he didn't like it. Good comedian, so-so actor. I like his character Achoo in Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
3 years ago
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=emvySA1-3t8
3 years ago
Fuck i forgot he was in men in tights. Yeah his acting wasn't great, half baked was funny years ago, after 5 or 6 spliffs. But i watched it again a couple of years back and turned it off half way through. A stoner movie for kids.
3 years ago
Yeah, ya gotta be high during stoner movies. And Punky, it's beef jerky time.
3 years ago
even in my stoner days i didnt like half baked
3 years ago
It was kinda goofy. Without Dave Chappelle it would'vde been much worse though.
3 years ago
Did you not laugh at snoop as the scavenger smoker just rising from the ground when he smelled weed. He lungs the whole joint and when they ask him if he wants to buy some ( i just quit smoking yesterday)
3 years ago
thing is, when i got high i didnt need watching other people get high to be amused, so stuff like pineapple express, half baked, cheech and chong, idle hands, harold and kumar or that 70s show didnt have any appeal.
"oh look they do exactly what i am doing, fun!!" didnt work for me.
3 years ago
Escapism
3 years ago
but it isnt. watching people do what you're doing anyways is the exact opposite of escapism.
3 years ago
think john mcclane would've watched red alert while being stuck in nakatomi plaza?
3 years ago
So if you were sitting around smoking a few spliffs, when you were smoking, did you not put on a good movie and just laugh at that shit?
3 years ago
Bird can't do that, kurupt, he has to watch it six times and find the movie's "meaning" so he can "escape."
3 years ago
I doubt it, red didn't come out till 20 plus years later.
3 years ago
My bad red alert, thought you said red.
3 years ago
i did. cable guy, zoolander, austin powers, tropic thunder, early adam sandler, spinal tap, waynes world and a shit ton of others. but because they were funny, not because people were blazing up in them
3 years ago
Didn't really care for any of those movies, bird, especially anything adam sandler puts out. His movies went to shit after the Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison characters.
3 years ago
Friday and next Friday were stoner movies, but i could watch them without a smoke and still laugh at them.
3 years ago
that's why i said early sandler, those are still his only decent movies. and if you dont like spinal tap you're dead inside.
3 years ago
Never seen Spinal Tap, don't care to.
3 years ago
oh, notable exception is jay and silent bob, now that is a stoner movie i liked. but it's still the weakest of the jersey films.
3 years ago
you should shark, it's great.
3 years ago
Yeah, I liked those guys in Clerks better. They did have good stuff in both movies though.
3 years ago
I don't care for heavy metal no do I care for parodies.
3 years ago
*nor
3 years ago
I didn't like spinal tap myself.
3 years ago
it's more about classic rock than metal, but it spoofs the beatles, stones and just the music biz in general, and it has great dialogue and is insanely quotable
3 years ago
Rush hour was on T.V last night, and i was just thinking that Chris Tucker has hardly made any movies if you think about it? I can only think of five.
3 years ago
I've seen the first ten minutes of it, admittedly, and I think it's boring. If I want great dialogue, I'll watch The French Connection.
3 years ago
He's gotten too old for a lot of the roles he played, kurupt. Besides, the movie industry has guys like Kevin Hart now, so they'll use him up until they think he's too old. That's just my opinion.
3 years ago
also chris tucker really sucks
3 years ago
I know that he was offered a script for a new Friday movie, called last Friday. Smokey and Day Day in the same movie, holy shit. But he said the script was too weak and turned it down.
3 years ago
And that's another thing, to echo what Steven said: a lot of people think Chris Tucker isn't funny. Kevin Hart, I use him as an example, because I think the same thing is gonna happen to him: he'll have a stellar standup career, make a couple mediocre movies that only his true fans will go to see, and then he'll kind of fade away, like Chris Tucker and Dave Chappelle.
3 years ago
Don't worry there is plenty of black cunts out there to fill their shoes.
3 years ago
Sure, but why not re-invent yourself? Someone needs to tell him that yeah, the Rush Hour trilogy was good, but now you've gotta keep the ball rolling so people will pay to see your movies. I doubt he can live off the royalties forever.
3 years ago
Yeah. rush hour 3 was 2007 and i don't think iv'e seen him in anything since? So funds must be low, that's why i'm surprised he turned down a new Friday movie.
3 years ago
"Silver Linings Playbook" was his last movie, and even with Robert DeNiro, I had never heard about it in 2011. He hosted last year's BET Awards, which I'm sure he got paid well for, but yeah, you don't see much of him anymore.
3 years ago
Apparently that's one of Jennifer Lawrence's big blockbusters and she won academy award for best actress, but I had never heard of it until I googled it.
3 years ago
I never even heard of silver linings playbook. Speaking of actors that are gone to the dogs, what the fuck has De Niro done with his career over the past ten years. After Analyze this everything he was in was a flop.
3 years ago
Jennifer Lawrence could probably wipe her ass and make a movie about it and it would be a blockbuster because she's Jennifer Lawrence.
3 years ago
And DeNiro is taking a cue from Christopher Walken: no matter how shitty the script, take the job so you can have money to live.
3 years ago
I would have thought he was a very wealth man after the Scorsese movies. Even the meet the parents franchise he must have coined in. I think it's a shame one of my favorite actors of all time.
3 years ago
Yeah, but he also has kids, and has been married and divorced, not to mention he owns an amazingly extravagant apartment in Central Park West. Plus, a successful movie doesn't always make ya rich...Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher got paid shit for the Star Wars movies.
3 years ago
Thing about DeNiro is that he owns a movie studio and two restaurants, as well as the Greenwich Hotel, so he probably just acts in movies for fun, or because he likes being in front of the camera.
3 years ago
You motherfuckers talk more than a bunch of old ladies in a bingo hall...
3 years ago
I suppose if you want to keep living a lavish lifestyle, you have to keep making money, but some actors choose wisely, it seems like De Niro doesn't even read a script anymore, Pacino is the same.
3 years ago
Isn't that what we're supposed to do, Dush?
3 years ago
Play bingo?
3 years ago
Kurupt, just check out his restaurants and his hotel and you'll see why he really doesn't need to work anymore.
3 years ago
Yak forbids us to play games here, toolman.
3 years ago
Little does he know, I've been playing the game my whole life.
3 years ago
That just reminded me of "Mongo only pawn, in game of life," toolman.
3 years ago
As long as the talking involves insults and arbitrary name calling I'm fully ok with that.
3 years ago
Nobody cares about what you're okay with, Dush.
3 years ago
That's more like it!
3 years ago
Glad I could help...Seen any good movies lately? lol
3 years ago
The Ripper 2: Letters From Within
3 years ago
I said "good" movies. Good and movie don't belong in a sentence with shit like that.
3 years ago
His name was I. Kea
3 years ago
Ill take a leg to go.
3 years ago
Well without the copypasta this might as well be pasta
3 years ago
And not a very good pasta
3 years ago
A brit talking bout good pasta is like a brit talking about healthy teeth
3 years ago
Or good football
3 years ago
True we are not good at football anymore
3 years ago
The bought world cup aside, premier league and bundesliga have the same problem, namely that most talents are foreigners and thus can't be drafted for the national team. Our way around that was granting ppl like özil citizenship
3 years ago
So if they're from outside of Germany, they can't be drafted?
3 years ago
I mean they can't be drafted by any league within the country?
3 years ago
nono, not my point, we have players from all over the world in our leagues, but since they're not german they're not allowed to play on the national team. so, while the skill level on national level might be really high, that is mainly due to buying cheap foreign players, but there's not enough local talent to make up a decent national team that can compete in international tournaments.

think of it this way, if there was a basketball world cup, would dirk nowitzki be allowed to play for the USA?
3 years ago
watching british premier league can be a real joy cuz of all the foreign players, but watching the english national team is painful cuz all the actually british players are mediocre really.
3 years ago
I'm not sure if Nowitzki could play for the US...he probably could if he was granted citizenship, but I doubt he would want to play for the US. An that does sound like a pain in the ass to not have any local talent.
3 years ago
like i said, we granted citizenship to some turkish, polish and other players to be able to get them on the national team
3 years ago
That's got to feel kind of odd at first. You want your national team to be...national, know what I mean? I just can't imagine having a turkish guy (just as an example) on the USA basketball team.
3 years ago
recover password
most discussed

below are mucho's most discussed submissions of the last 12 hours. join in on the discussion!

users online