points: -36

Split Sock

NSFW

Split penis with a prolapsed asshole

freakporn

by DangerousDug

submitted September 11th 2014

251 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Split Sock
tagged:
comments (251)
Fuckin hell. What's wrong with some people.
3 years ago
communism
3 years ago
Capitalism more like
3 years ago
marxist
3 years ago
socialist
3 years ago
democrat
3 years ago
antidisestablishmentarianism
3 years ago
Parliamental
3 years ago
probably found out what children do to your soul....
3 years ago
Eww, his nipples look all scabby and bloody
3 years ago
The nipples are what caught your eye, not the in half cock and blown out arse hole. This pic is fucked up.
3 years ago
I'm so used to seeing split cocks and prolapses, that's why
3 years ago
I found a vid for you, enjoy
http://muchosucko.com/46508/Squid-Dick
3 years ago
It's not something i look for, i just can't get my head around why anyone could cut their knob in half?
3 years ago
Twisted body ideals, too much time on their hands? It looks extreme cause it's the holiest part of the body, but people doing boob jobs are just as disturbed in a way
3 years ago
C'mon everyone loves a big set of tits. But spitting your knob if half with a hatched, and have a cock that looks like a spitting octopus, like in the video above. Is seriously fucked up.
3 years ago
I'm sure there are people out there who think it has some kind of attraction appeal, not everyone has the standard ideal of what beauty is. Some cultures wear lip plates, others starve themselves to beautiful. Who's to say either is not?
3 years ago
*be
3 years ago
Why is it something you are into, considering you said you have seen lots of this kind of stuff?
3 years ago
Not at all, I just accept there are people that prefer different things than I do. But I find it fascinating. And I like I said, I'm used to seeing this so it doesn't bother me anymore.
3 years ago
Imagine being a doctor and you had some fucker keep coming in from blood loss because he decided to cut off one of his balls, or chop off his helmet or whatever, i'd let the cunt die.
3 years ago
Haha
I'd ask him to tape it and give me the video. Totally normal
3 years ago
Just jumping in to say Skagboys in my opinion is Welsh's best book by far. Other than Marabou stork nightmares, its the only book of his I've read twice.
3 years ago
Ooops
3 years ago
* squatface gives up commenting for another few days *
3 years ago
hahaha! thanks, i'll move it a lil further up the reading list.
3 years ago
Dug I have some bad news..
3 years ago
It's like him and squidley are in cahoots
3 years ago
Most days are not my days ... :(
3 years ago
Hey fries, do they still sell White Lightning cider in England? It's in a blue 3 liter bottle.
3 years ago
Not being a cider drinker myself but yeah I'm sure they do
3 years ago
Cool, i drank it years ago over there, i remember it was clear and 7.5%, blow the fucking head off ya. A mate of mine is going over to see spurs play the weekend. So i'll ask him to bring me back some.
3 years ago
Ewww, it's like alcoholic sugared water
3 years ago
White lightning should be more like 85%
3 years ago
Ahh fuck it, i just searched it on wiki.It was discontinued in 2009. They kept on reducing the alcohol content, it was 8.4 when first released and reduced to 7.5% that's when i drank it, and finally reduced to 5.5%. They said due to alcoholism and anti social behaviour they got rid of it.
3 years ago
There's plenty more that are similar
3 years ago
Yeah, that's one thing i couldn't believe in England was the range of drink and the alcohol content. They don't allow those special brews over here. The purple tin ect. Or there would literally be a murder a day.
3 years ago
Have you had vodka confiscated?

And is booze cheaper there? Cos I think that's how England does it over here, raises the taxes on vices
3 years ago
Hey md. Booze in Ireland is probably the dearest in Europe. They know people here are big drinkers and are willing to pay more than most countries to get fucked up.
3 years ago
That's not right man. Fucking robbery.
3 years ago
Hay guys, what's going on in here?
* Barret twirls baton *
3 years ago
Say if i was in the club and got a large bottle of cider before it would cost between €5.50 and €6 a 536ml bottle. The price goes up on the hour every hour after 11, so bu 2am you could be paying between €6.50 and €6.80 a bottle.
3 years ago
I see, i see.

Carry on.

* Barret skips onto the next thread *
3 years ago
How ya doing Barret.
3 years ago
Doing good, doing good.

Just got home.

Pooping a lot today.

Otherwise good.
3 years ago
Nice one, pooping is the shit.
3 years ago
I think i scared your friend off though, now i feel bad...
3 years ago
Maybe he just didn't want to get into a debate about drink? But that doesn't sound like md.
3 years ago
What's the price of booze like in Norway Barret?
3 years ago
^^lol

That's disgusting man. I think I've been in a place that did that. Can't be sure though, I was already wasted.
3 years ago
Probably expensive, i went to the liquer store the other day and paid 1600 NOK (about 160 British Pounds) for 8 random bottles.
3 years ago
BTW hey K and B
3 years ago
* PunkyBruiser jumps on Barret's back and screams like an idiot *
3 years ago
*1800 NOk
*180 GBP
3 years ago
That's the idea md, they know people are already pissed and are not paying attention to what change they are getting back, fucking cunts.

8 bottles of spirits Barret, roughly 20 a bottle, thats not bad. Were they 1l bottles?
3 years ago
Fuck these warts growing on my back is getting on my nerves, I'm thinking about seeing a doctor and having them removed.
3 years ago
The biggest ones were 1L
3 years ago
Before anyone asks, Yes they were really GAY drinks...

* Barret chugs some more mojito *
3 years ago
Brand name shit like Jack Daniels and Captin Morgan and Bacardi in the supermarket are usually around €25 or 20 pounds so that's not 3 bad.
3 years ago
Jrob loves teasing me that he can buy cans of beer for 0,4 dollars from some guys that live under the docks. Fucking Americans and their cheap booze.
3 years ago
holy shit barrs, a 1L wart on your back? ask the doctor to film the removal
3 years ago
I did a show in Abu Dhabi with KOL, and tried to buy bottle on JD at the bar to take back to my room for my mates. I asked the bartender how much it would be...and he said $250 American dollars. 8(. I acted like I had a tummy ache, and turned it down. 8)
3 years ago
*of...


fuck it
3 years ago
bottle of Morgan is 10-13 € in germany
3 years ago
That 1 Liter Bottle of Vikingfjord vodka was 50 Euros, that was the 40% version. How's that for a price?
3 years ago
most name brand not high end booze like jack dagnels, bacardi, morgan etc is in that price range
3 years ago
8)€=D~
3 years ago
Lets all call round barrets with some straws. We'll drink the 1l wart and all get pissed. Problem solved.
3 years ago
Bottle of morgan €10 for 700 ml and €13 for a liter is it gull. That's for nothing.
3 years ago
every time we talk about any shit like this, you make it sound like having fun in ireland is expensive as fuck: drugs, alc, tobacco... how the fuck can all those unemployeds and pikeys even afford escaping reality anymore?
3 years ago
oh right, sports bets!
3 years ago
yeah, we get ripped right off in here. I would uprise tomorrow if I didn't think I was surrounded by spineless swines
3 years ago
So who had the worst prices, did i win?
3 years ago
Can't tell if win or loss
3 years ago
what were you doing with so much booze is the question
3 years ago
Tasting...
3 years ago
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=g7QBS0O7gT0
3 years ago
were you trying to find your drink of choice?
3 years ago
never.
3 years ago
Watching programs like booze Britian it's shows people on average spend between 30 and 50 pounds on a night out and still get pissed, you would need at least €100 to go on the piss for the night over here.

Speaking of sports bets gull, i did a bet last Friday on the football. A €10 accumalator, i picked 7 teams, which all won but i didn't know that Germany U21's and Germany U19 were boyh playing the same night, i wanted the U21 to beat Ireland by more than 1 goal, which they did 2-0. But the cunt behingd the counter gave me the price of the U19's against Holland, which void the bet. I felt like fucking a petrol bomb through the window. It would have paid €453. CUNTS.
3 years ago
I just like having a few bottles laying around in case i wanna go full zeke one night. and yeah i like trying new stuff.

FisherStorm Original, worst thing ive ever tasted.
Tasted like concentrated sewage and punky spit. 0/10.
3 years ago
how the fuck do you do a euro symbol?
3 years ago
do they come on the keyboard where the pound sign is in euro countries?
3 years ago
Alt and 4
3 years ago
Alt and E on a german keyboard
3 years ago
lol nice try kuput
3 years ago
I laid some money down on the Kursk, and I lost it all.

3 years ago
oh wait, I read that as alt and F4, try it
3 years ago
Sure its not Alt Gr?
3 years ago
no one likes nitpickers
3 years ago
so it is

I think kurupt did alt f4
3 years ago
Alt + 4 = € Alt + F4= fuck all
3 years ago
@Steve-o_Seagull

Was that comment directed at me?

8)
3 years ago
your computer is immune to alt+f4? That's weird
3 years ago
don't talk like punky.

is mean to impersonate retards.





also: yes
3 years ago
If i was trying to help him find the right button, then how is it nitpicking? I was referring to Kurupt.
3 years ago
Fuck you guill, i wrote half a fucking novel about the bet i did on Friday on the Germans and you didn't even answer me, bitch
3 years ago
also: dude, shut the fuck up, pussy.
3 years ago
Referring to me about what Barret?
3 years ago
i was gonna say €453 might be a good night out if you spend carefully and pre-drink like it's prohibition era
3 years ago
sorry bro, i just think gambling is dumb
3 years ago
I had the money spent in my mind and all, Couple of bills to pay off, few beers, some new clothes all that shit. I went out to collect on Sat morning and they said sorry, you should have specified U21, there is nothing we can do for you. I went berzerk, i came home and rang customer service hoping they might sort it? But they said the same thing. Fucking bastards, it's not that often you get 7 teams up/
3 years ago
shouldn't they have confirmed it was U21?
3 years ago
I gave you a like on your story Kurupt, i hope this makes things better.
3 years ago
That's what i said to them, they should have told me that u19' and U21's were playing that night and which one i would like, but thay said fuck all.
3 years ago
*confirmed it was U21 or U19's instead of just placing a bet on your behalf. That's bullshit. I would stop betting if I were you. Or at least stop betting there
3 years ago
I feels tons better. You are a gentleman Barret.
3 years ago
they could at least give you your bet back. Cunts
3 years ago
* Barret tips cap *
3 years ago
I've thought about quitting all week, i didn't place a bet since then. But i came to the decision of fuck that bookmaker, i'll never go in there again. Plenty more of them.
3 years ago
fuck it, what's the address?
3 years ago
It's Paddy Powers, i'm boycotting all there betting shops, fucking cunts.
3 years ago
Haha Paddy Powers.
3 years ago
fucking racists as well
3 years ago
Didn't Kurupt get angry when you called him a Paddy? Then he bets there...
3 years ago
* Barret bets at the Coca-Cola Sewer Cleansing Factory *
3 years ago
yeah, explain yourself kurupt
3 years ago
Paddies stick together, but after that shit, i've turned on my own people.
3 years ago
well that makes no sense.

It's cool though, we'll take you
3 years ago
I hear Sweden likes foreigners.
3 years ago
Nah nothing could make me turn on my countrymen, especially some dopey cunt in a bookmakers. It just made me mad. That money could have came in very handy at the moment.
3 years ago
I'd turn on my countrymen. They are faggots.
3 years ago
Did you see the movie filth yet md?
3 years ago
No but thanks for the reminder. I've got a train to catch tomorrow so I'll DL it
3 years ago
It's good. I read the book first by Irvine Welsh, the same guy wrote trainspotting.
3 years ago
can't be a bad sign. I read the synopsis, it sounds well worth a watch.
3 years ago
i fucking love welsh. glue was utterly amazing, porn kind of a letdown, skag-boys still sits on my shelf unread.
3 years ago
so does filth and the one about the scottish chefs...
3 years ago
James McEvoy is great in it as the main character. Not as good as the book but worth a watch. While your downloading stuff, here a link for Love Hate season 1. It has the most seeders of any torrent site i could fine. Let me know hat you think md .http://www.torrenthound.com/hash/3998a2313a089ab85628ba899b3d3c2486545e8b/torrent-info/Love-Hate-Season-1-Irish-Drama-
3 years ago
I would like to read glue and skag boys, but i can't seem to find a copy of them. Filth is well worth reading. It's toned down quite a bit for the movie gull.
3 years ago
kur, you own a tablet, kindle, e-book reader??? if yes, enjoy:

https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/7583337/Skagboys_-_Trainspotting_Prequel_-_Irvine_Welsh

https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/9185384/irvine_welsh
3 years ago
I <3 James McEvoy
3 years ago
not enough to spell his name right though....
3 years ago
bittorrent glitched out, had to uninstall it. Thanks for the link kurupt. ill take a lewk
3 years ago
and he was an awful professor x
3 years ago
Nah gull, i don't have any of the above. I must invest in 1 because i like to read. I wonder would i pick up a used copy on ebay?
3 years ago
amazon is worth a look for used copies. You can buy for 1p and just pay for P+P sometimes
3 years ago
Do md. There is only 4 episodes in the first season, and there is 3 more. |I get's better as it goes on. Season 5 is starting in the autunm, it looks fucking coola boola.
3 years ago
wait, what's €0.01?
3 years ago
nope not that much
3 years ago
I better start saving, or hope i hit a good football accumulator again.
3 years ago
That torrent site is blocked for me, i'll have to find another link
3 years ago
http://proxybay.info/
3 years ago
already there bro ;)

I'm going to start calling you lester
3 years ago
http://katproxy.com/love-hate-season-1-complete-off-boxset-2010-hq-dvdrip-xvid-devil303-irishtorrents-info-t6970461.html
3 years ago
Doh, sorry i just can't help nitpicking.
3 years ago
how does one amazon in ireland? via the uk site?
3 years ago
that's a good question now that you mention it
3 years ago
I never got anything from amazon. But i presume you go through the U.K site.
3 years ago
Any joy with that link md?
3 years ago
i've had nothing but good experiences with us, uk, german and french amazon.
3 years ago
Amazon is alright. Pretty reliable. I had something delivered today from them
3 years ago
So if i find one of the books on amazon, does it go to the u.k depot first and they dispatch it to Ireland? Probably with an extra fee?
3 years ago
most likely yeah
3 years ago
Found a copy of glue on ebay. €3.61 and €2.63 P+P
3 years ago
7,50 pound delivery.

free delivery if you spend more than 25 pound.

might be more complicated with used books cuz they dont get shipped by amazon themselves.
3 years ago
you can get it for one penny at amazon
3 years ago
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/help/customer/display.html?nodeId=200395880

Those are standard delivery methods
3 years ago
Yeah but then they tag on all that postage shit. This book is coming from the u.k and shipped for €6.24, i don't think i'll find cheaper than that?
3 years ago
I bought a book for 1p and paid something like 2 quid for p+p. It depends on how cheap the delivery is, and it can vary somewhat
3 years ago
kur, find a reseller on amazon that ships with amazon, pick all the books you like for penny ammounts, then add like a single dvd or vidya game to reach the 25 pound limit for free shipping
3 years ago
Standard postage to Ireland £2.10 or €2.63.
3 years ago
Is it free shipping just to England though, if it's all in pounds? Anyway i'll check it out. Gull your a cook aren't you. I got a couple of nice striploin steaks testerday. I brushed one with olive oil and put salt and pepper on in, left it till it was room temp then added it to a very hot pan, seared it and put it in the oven for ten mins. It was very nice and tender, but it didn't have the crispy outside like in a steakhouse? Did i not fry it long enough before putting it in the oven?
3 years ago
free shipping to ireland when you order stuff for at least 25 pound.
the page calculates the exchange rate for you.

you need a really good pan, like a cast-iron one, anything with some kinda coating won't work, let it get super fucking hot and use some kinda frying fat that can get really hot without burning or smoking (so no olive oil) like clarified butter or palm fat. seriously, the pan has to be crazy hot when you put the steak in. then you sear each side for one minute to 90 seconds without moving it, take it out, wrap it in tin foil and put it in the oven for 7 minutes at 90-100°.

voila, perfect steak.
3 years ago
also, never season before frying, the salt will pull the juice outta the steak and the pepper will burn in the pan and ruin the taste, always sear the meat au naturel.
3 years ago
That's probably what the problem was, my frying pan is a heap of shit. I let get hot enogh that the oil was smoking. I just coated the steak in olive oil, but i used sunflower oil in the pan, and then put the steak in the pan directly into the oven. So should i get it out of the pan and into the tin foil and into the oven, How long for a well done stea, and it's a fan assisted oven, so should i drop it down a few degrees?
3 years ago
You're a chef seagull?

Do you know who makes good filleting knives?
3 years ago
Those are some really good tips btw. Cheers
3 years ago
I think all vegetable fats smoke at lower temps than saturated fats
3 years ago
@md: i used to work kitchens for 4 yrs, never got a proper education as a chef though. but i know my shit. need the knife for the kitchen or for fishing?

@kur: pan is everything when it comes to steak, pan and proper heat (gas stove is best). sunflower is okay, i prefer clarified butter for the taste, palm oil gets the hottest without smoking, to each his own. steak has to leave the pan and get into foil, otherwise the heat wont distribute evenly while it's in the oven. fan dont make a difference, 100° is 100°.
and no, with following my steps you won't get a well done steak, you 'll get a medium to medium rare, which is how steak is supposed to be.
3 years ago
oh, and with a fan assist oven the foil is even more important cuz the meat gets dry in there more easily cuz of the airflow.
3 years ago
For the kitchen really. It needs to fillet pike lol
3 years ago
Ever think about getting back into it?
3 years ago
only if have to, i've grown to hate it. shit hours, shit pay, awful hours and most kitchen folk are dickweeds.
3 years ago
I had to make something to eat after all that steak talk. I'll be doing the other one tomorrow so i'll try what you said. Cheers gull. Md did the second link i gave you for love hate work?
3 years ago
same here, just put some chicken wings in the oven.
3 years ago
for kitchen purposes, i'd go with a zwilling. nice german quality for a decent price.
3 years ago
Strip loin is a real nice steak, good marbling. They were doing a special in the supermarket 2 for €8, got the mushrooms, onion, mushy peas, and chips.
3 years ago
@md:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Henckels-Four-Star-Filleting-Knife/dp/B00008S0T4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=undefined&sr=8-1&keywords=zwilling+fillet+knife
3 years ago
cheers gull. I'm interested in what would you recommend for fishing too now.
3 years ago
Kurupt, it didn't work either, but I found a working one.
3 years ago
how do you think zwilling henckels compares to wusthof knives?
3 years ago
They're shit.

* smerf has no fucking idea. *
3 years ago
I have all Wusthof knives. Expensive as hell, but totally worth it. As Hatori Hanzo said "If on your quest you encounter God, God will be cut."
3 years ago
back in my kitchen days i used 3 different victorinox knives and that was it. they're cheap, sharp as hell and when you know what you're doing, 3 knives is all you need.

@md:i know nothing about fishing hunting or utility knives
3 years ago
bird, how hard is it to cook seed?
3 years ago
fucking pecker.
3 years ago
vikingfjord is 15 € over here too
3 years ago
but reply fail is free
3 years ago
What did you come down here for dickhead.
3 years ago
the drugs..obviously
3 years ago
Isn't Vikingfjord bottled in Kneurgen, near the Joergen Fjords?
3 years ago
Norway is a ripoff when it comes to anything containing alcohol. Cheapest beer in supermarket a bit over 3 euros. Cheapest wine bottle about 13 euros. Bacardi about 35-40 e. Go out to the city and drink have at least 200 e on you if you dont want to return sober. They only sell beer in supermarkets. For any other stuff wih over 5% you havd to go to some shit called winemonopoly owned by the gov. And there are not so many of those around. They clode early too. At 2pm on saturdays. Its forbid too to sell beer after 2 pm on saturdays. At 6pm on weekdays i think its really fucking crazy alcohol laws are had a lot of trouble when i first got back here and they wouldnt sell me beer just cause i was 5 mins late from the curfew
3 years ago
Still its an alcoholic society
3 years ago
Over €3 for a can of beer, that is a fucking rip off alright.There was uproar over here in Ireland a few years back, when they changed the closing time of off licences to 10 pm from half 11. I suppose some of the cheapest lager in the supermarket is a can of Carling for €1 a can, it's not a bad lager either.
3 years ago
Thought it would be cheaper over there
3 years ago
Visited austria 2 months ago wasnt sober for a minute. Real cheap and huge beer variety
3 years ago
Ended up at the hospital a couple of times
3 years ago
What was the average price of a pint in the pubs over there?
3 years ago
Too bad you lived.
3 years ago
Around 3e i think
3 years ago
You still not locked up again. I read that your back on the beer, that's step 1, step 2 get back on the spirits, step 3 commit another crime when your out of your head, step 4, back to jail.
3 years ago
Thats his plan. He loves to be locked up with a bunch of dudes
3 years ago
€3 is probably the chepest pint you would get over here, but if your getting a Heiniken, Carlsberg of Guinness, it's between €4.30 and €5 depending where you are.
3 years ago
Sounds good
3 years ago
Elpiss only drinks homeless bums jizz anyway.
3 years ago
Where's the sock
3 years ago
Fuck!
NOW you Need TWO fap-hands!!!
^^
3 years ago
Is any of that ^ worth reading?
3 years ago
is it ever?
3 years ago
hi
3 years ago
Let me answer...
3 years ago
NOPE!
3 years ago
Hi Poss!!
3 years ago
hi

99622
3 years ago
388 to go possum
3 years ago
* possum flexes and poops *
3 years ago
it's a pretty graceful move actually
3 years ago
Do you wear a nappy when you do it, or do you hover over the toliet?
3 years ago
is a nappy a t-shirt?

3 years ago
if so - yup, sort of
3 years ago
It's a diaper..
3 years ago
^ruiner
3 years ago
^wears a diaper
3 years ago
depends
3 years ago
If you posted a video of yourself pooping in a diaper while wearing a t shirt, i'm sure you would crack the 10,000 mark.
3 years ago
no way that would happen
3 years ago
it's only going to take him three thousand seven hundred something comments to make it anyway...so, next week sometime.
3 years ago
Lobos is it 6 in the morning over there? Do you work the early shift or something?
3 years ago
one minute til post time!
3 years ago
I get up at 5:00, start work at 7
3 years ago
lol, I go to bed a 5, and get up when I want. Except on wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by a blowjob
3 years ago
fagots
3 years ago
something something waking up with a dick in yo mouth something....

ZZZzzzZZZ

i'm tired of the mucho routine sometimes
3 years ago
take the dick out of your mouth and you wont wake up with one penis home.
3 years ago
you sound more stupid than usual, you drunk again?
3 years ago
because you dont agree with what i say im drunk.
3 years ago
stupid fuck. go back to white knighting lostlabias.
3 years ago
I need a drink so bad. Its been 2 months now. This sobreity shit aint working out
3 years ago
stfu tweaker. no one is talking to you.
3 years ago
it's not that i don't agree, i don't even understand.

but if i would, i'd most likely disagree....



bitch
3 years ago
penis home. new insult women..

you're a woman.


metrosexual.
3 years ago
Uhhh. Good one. Stfu now
3 years ago
next time just say "yes, i am drunk"
3 years ago
that would be a lie, im stoned. not drunk.
3 years ago
elfclits who the fuck are you
3 years ago
You should sober up you riculous clown. You give booze and drugs a bad name
3 years ago
you give white people a bad name.

next time you think about talking to me, talk to siri, she likes you.
3 years ago
/punky plays drums for siri
3 years ago
SHANKABLE
3 years ago
recover password
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