points: 12

Guess the Muchoer

NSFW

featuredwtf

by chockolatesaltyballz

submitted November 7th 2013

347 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Guess the Muchoer
tagged:
comments (347)
or... its you
4 years ago
Toolman?
4 years ago
he has a sad penis
4 years ago
You should make it happy
4 years ago
lol @ poss pointing fingers at people with 'sad pensi'
4 years ago
hi folks what's going on tonight?
4 years ago
Everything.
4 years ago
boring
4 years ago
i think both statements might be true
4 years ago
Last Thursday felt like a Friday.

So why does this one feel like a Wednesday?
4 years ago
I guess it's cause Yorick isn't on.
4 years ago
Because, you need a job.
4 years ago
this place needs more yoko ono music vids stat
4 years ago
The only muchoer besides me who I know works 40+ hours a week is smerf.
4 years ago
After that it's a haze of disability checks, welfare, part-time service jobs, and a guy sitting on his ass watching money pour in from some stupid website he owns.
4 years ago
* possum works hard for her money so you better treat her right *
4 years ago
This website is worth about $300,000 USD + per month pro members. Pretty neat gig.
4 years ago
wait til i launch rkingsucko....
4 years ago
What happened to Whunu's website?
4 years ago
Don't tell me to stfu you little queer. Don't be jealous of yaks estates.
4 years ago
muchosucko.com has alexa rank of #75,889 in the world, with roughly 12679 daily unique visitors. This website has a Google PageRank of 3/10. It is a domain having .com extension and is hosted in Canada. muchosucko.com estimated worth is: $109,440.00 and have a daily income of around $152.00. We found potential security risks with muchosucko.com and it is Un-SAFE to browse this website. USE EXTEREME CAUTION while visiting this website.
4 years ago
haha and shut up
4 years ago
$152 a day is more than I earn. 8(
4 years ago
wow - 13 G looking at my wang every day
4 years ago
Where the fuck is the link to that embed?
4 years ago
No shit faggot, what I mean is usually the link appears above where it's embedded.
4 years ago
And yak's always playing possum acting like he's poor...
4 years ago
it looks like that 10 was the first number that existed after the mention of muchosucko.com
4 years ago
Why don't ya have another Bud Light Lime and think before you call someone a faggot.
4 years ago
good thing muchosucko.com doesn't see 48089 unique daily visitors
4 years ago
disappointing...((((
4 years ago
Gosh, you sure are bland for an 8 year member.
4 years ago
I'd like to think that by the time my account is 8 years old, I'll have murdered a few animals on cam and had at least 3 barfights with Urkel.
4 years ago
bono, you bragging about working 40+ hrs a week is not making you look cool.... working hard in life is not gonna get you anywhere young man.
4 years ago
Some faggot told me to get a job, was just stating a fact.

Speaking of which, you look like you enjoy a rather luxurious lifestyle.
4 years ago
hell yeah bro.. living the dream. i spend $75 yesterday on drugs and candy
4 years ago
At least you got some candy.... on the bright side
4 years ago
sour gummi worms, starburst, skittles... etc
4 years ago
Only niggers who don't belong round these parts eat skittles.
4 years ago
I can't stand the sour gummi worms but the rest sound good
4 years ago
Bono, working 40+ hours and still living with grandma/mom? Whaaaat? How do you bring the ladies home?
4 years ago
Are you asking sarcastically, or do you really want to hear tales of my sexual exploits?
4 years ago
i live in denver bro, not bakersfield.
4 years ago
and i washed it down with a grape soda
4 years ago
let's hear the sexploitation tales
4 years ago
No I'm really curious? Is it like a roommate situation? "Dude. mawmaw, I'm bringing a lady home tonight, don't you have somewhere to be?"
4 years ago
The fucked up things I could tell you...
4 years ago
Go ahead and tell us then Mother Goose.
4 years ago
*Boylan's
4 years ago
I meant faggot, sorry
4 years ago
Extra Virgin.
4 years ago
Bono's sex adventures all start with "ok, i saw this porn online...."
4 years ago
Choose a story.

A) Fat white girl piss
B) Not-as-fat white girl hotel room
C) Asian stank police officer
D) Bono's first cunnilingus
4 years ago
hmm..... how about B
4 years ago
LOL, only 4 stories to choose from :(
4 years ago
Asian skank, then, if I'm still awake, fat white girl piss
4 years ago
Asian Stank Police Officer

ASPO plez
4 years ago
Do you guys have a final consensus?
4 years ago
2 out of 3 say ASPO
4 years ago
ill go ASPO
4 years ago
My word is final.
4 years ago
p.s... congrats on legalizing pot zeke
4 years ago
he did?
4 years ago
portland did
4 years ago
Alright, this is Asian Stank Police Officer.

- (happened about 3 years ago) -

There was this girl I was kind of interested in. I had gone to high school with her and in the awkward stages of my newfound adulthood, I asked her to hang out.

We did... and she thought it was as friends.

Turns out, she was going through an ugly "Do I still love him" breakup with some half-nigger who played the trombone.

We went a few places as I feigned interest... took a trip to the park, got a smoothie...

And then it was back to Bono's place.
4 years ago
jeebus
4 years ago
Where she talked to you all night about the guy she still loves, FRIENDZONE!
4 years ago
not enough green text
4 years ago
Yeah, it hasn't really changed much, but you're allowed to carry up to 2.5 ounces within city limits for recreational purposes, which the cops say they never would have bothered anyone for anyway. It's a step in the right direction if you care about that sort of thing. I however, don't. I agree with it, but I don't give a shit.
4 years ago
^@ the weed
4 years ago
You're so far in the friendzone, you met her boyfriends parents.
4 years ago
2.5?

wow
4 years ago
yup
4 years ago
I casually asked her back to my room.... to talk.

We laid down on my bet and I asked her to tell me about what was going on. All her feels came out and she said something about "a nice guy like you, Bono."

I looked at her.

I told her to take off her pants like 3 times and she eventually did. I worked my hand into her panties and started fingerbanging her awful nice. Minutes later we were having unprotected sex, and her vagina was disappointingly loose.

All of a sudden she blurts out of nowhere OH GOD PLEASE STOP and she's crying and shit.... begs me to take her home...
4 years ago
bed*
4 years ago
I've only ever had an ounce at a time.. 2.5 is distribution luggage.
4 years ago
nooice....
4 years ago
takes me a month to go thru a baby these days- thassa lotta legal weed!
4 years ago
go on....
4 years ago
That's just the way Mainers roll.
4 years ago
we'd kick your ass
4 years ago
um

baby = 1/8 oz - just so dug doesnt get any ideas
4 years ago
I disagree sir, to be blunt.
4 years ago
Bono's sexy storytime thread has turned into marijuana pun thread.
4 years ago
So at this point she's still frantic.

"Ohgod ohgodohgodohgod", and so I pull my pants up, get my keys, and drive her home. It was night and I had driven her home with the windows down so my senses were not exactly @ peak efficiency.

Awkward goodbyes, blue balls, etc - then I roll up the window and realize there is an awful smell permeating through the car. I had not washed my hands after shoving half a fist into this poor girl, and it smelled, I shit you not, like a fish market.

4 years ago
of course you do, sir.... that is just the nature of your state.

* JerkStore colorado flexes *
4 years ago
shh - boner's trying to say something
4 years ago
I don't know if it had to do with her diet, or just because she was asian or what, but it smelled bad and I still noticed it after like 10 minutes alone with it in the car.

I felt weird about what had just happened so I decided to take the scenic route home by getting on the highway and riding it in big U shape to get back to my house.

It was here that I noticed a car with a small rack up top and a weird license plate. Fucking old tourists amirite?

I pass it going 85.

Sirens.
4 years ago
It's 'commonly called a yeast infection.
4 years ago
bono just shyamalaned us
4 years ago
http://muchosucko.com/79592/Popcorngif

somebody had to get the popcorn. This is getting interesting
4 years ago
what a twist!
4 years ago
It's called unkempt genitalia.
4 years ago
1 - nice pussy smell is nice always
2 - fishy pussy smell is genetic and needs much douching b4 eating
4 years ago
maybe she had just had sex with the guy and she didn't clean shit out.
4 years ago
Suddenly Bono saw a door, he opened the door, then he did the dinosaur. The End.
4 years ago
She probably didn't want to clean it out for weeks like some tween girl who refuses to wash her hand after Bieber touched it.
4 years ago
BONER EVERYWHERE
4 years ago
Barret: He didn't get on the floor
4 years ago
yeah, what a surprise that a cop showed up in a story entitled Asian stank police officer
4 years ago
Oh, I thought the chink was a cop, or dressed as a cop or something kinky.
4 years ago
What a surprise tr shows up to ruin a somewhat funny thread.
4 years ago
anyway, the real end of the story is, Bono rolled down the window and he was finally there to sit on his throne as the prince of bel-air.
4 years ago
Me too. I thought it was some skanky asian cop. /disappoint
4 years ago
tr - the yoko ono of MS
4 years ago
i guess you didn't start reading far enough back, pal....
4 years ago
there are some plot holes to this tale..
it's as if
* L0RD_QU3S0 puts on sunglasses *


there's a chink in the story
4 years ago
We were engaging in weed talk, you fuck.
4 years ago
I pulled over and turned off the car on the shoulder of the highway, which was not at all busy - so it's pitch black all around except for their focused headlights hitting my back.

My right hand and lap still smell like awful pussy. I also have noticed a rather large pussy-juice-type-stain on the shorts I'm wearing. Oh god.

Guy comes up to the window, asks for license and proof of insurance, asks me why I was going so fast. I don't even know what I said.

"Just trying to get home, I live at ___ and was about to turn around."

The officer looks at my ID.

"So, son, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a full-time student, officer."

"Oh, so you're out partying?"

"No sir, I'm not drunk or anything."

"I believe you, Bono... gimmie a minute."

Guy comes back after an agonizing 5 minutes and tells me:

"There's a warrant for the arrest of the owner of this vehicle."

At the time I was driving my dad's car, who has the same first name as me, so I thought OH THAT MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T PAY HIS TAXES, HE RAN A RED LIGHT, THEY FOUND HIS WEED, or something. I was about 2 seconds away from selling out my own father.

The cop then says...

"Nah I'm just fucking with you. Go home."

Hands me my license and laughs to his buddy sitting in the car. I swear I heard him mutter something about a funny smell.
4 years ago
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
4 years ago
^has not aged well
4 years ago
the cops probably smelled spaghetti.
4 years ago
Cool story bro....
4 years ago
Dammit, I thought you were going to get all porno and say the cop was a chick and she fellated you on the side of the highway.
4 years ago
Though I would have said "i fingered this really smelly chick that I semi date-raped then got pulled over by a cop and went home."
4 years ago
Fake, a Bakersfield cop would have shot you no questions asked.
4 years ago
Then we could have had the weed thread.
4 years ago
Got home and noticed that the stain on my shorts was huge and white and shone when light was focused on it.

Had I been asked to get out of the car, I would likely have been arrested for something. I don't know WHAT, but for something.

I washed and washed until I could barely make out the scent of the fishy vagina juice....

They say on warm summer nights in Bakersfield, you can still hear that mexican cop asking his partner if the car they just pulled over smelled like a vagina factory...
4 years ago
Oh theres more?
4 years ago
fucking calfags
4 years ago
No he's just rambling now
4 years ago
That's pretty much it...

Other stories for other times.
4 years ago
Cool story bro
4 years ago
Thank god
* xzekiel goes back to sleep *
4 years ago
Who going next?
4 years ago
You
4 years ago
A) Fat white girl piss
B) Not-as-fat white girl hotel room
<!--- C) Asian stank police officer --->
D) Bono's first cunnilingus

Someone remember that list when I'm drunk this weekend
4 years ago
....ok, well let me think.
4 years ago
Who doesn't have at least TWO go-to sex stories?
4 years ago
One for polite and proper company, the other for everyone else.
4 years ago
alright bono, how about fat white girl piss next
4 years ago
True, but I'm trying to decide between them. Also your story reminded me of one told to me that was pretty good.
4 years ago
Was it the girl in the Bono comic?
4 years ago
Very good guess Urkel, but she was beyond even my drunken standards.

The fat white girl in fat white girl piss was not as fat or as tall... but still pretty fat and tall.

Maybe this weekend.
4 years ago
Jezebeth, please remember to include pictures with your stories.
4 years ago
So when you say "trying to decide between them" you mean "I've only had one or two interesting encounters and even they pale in comparison to the things the people on this site have done, so I need a few minutes to exaggerate the details."
4 years ago
That was your method, boner?
4 years ago
Don't give away your secret.
4 years ago
I'm sorry, where's your story?
4 years ago
My first time I had trouble getting it up. The end.
4 years ago
Was it his first time too?
4 years ago
Wow, so you criticize while offering nothing.

Or worse yet, while offering shit in place of nothing.

How.... typical.
4 years ago
Criticism? No, simply a question. You get offensive so easily, boy. Try calming the fuck down sometimes. You're too young for high blood pressure.
4 years ago
^continues to spew generic shit.

How is it there are so many members that have been around for like, 8 or 9 years, but are still so boring?
4 years ago
I leave for an hour n a half and I come back to story time with bono? wtf
4 years ago
This guy tells me he's messing w this girl that lives around him. He says they are standing up and he is fingering her, he pulls fingers out and hugs her to smell them behind her back. He said the smell was unlike any pussy he had ever sniffed. So I ask - what did you do? He said oh, I fucked her, and then immeadeatly left. He said the whole way home he sniffed his fingers and shook his head in a hell no. I asked why fuck her? He - cause she got my dick hard.
4 years ago
Don't be jealous it wasn't you, Toasty.
4 years ago
Like I would stoup to the low levels of a bono :( I have standards sir
4 years ago
Jezebeth

1) That was fucking awful.
2) That wasn't yours personally.

You have absolutely zero skill.

Funny how tr fades away when you start posting...
4 years ago
That's a fake poster right?^^^
4 years ago
So are we sharing sex stories tonight? Is this what we're doing
4 years ago
yeah toaster.. you cant participate :(
4 years ago
um

my first time was up a 17 yr-old lakota chick' butt
4 years ago
Is it because I'm the only one who actually has sex :(
4 years ago
So far I'm the only one who has shared.

I mean, if you don't count Jezebeth's abortion of a comment.
4 years ago
you said you dont have sex a few hours ago
4 years ago
Is it first time stories or just in general stories?
4 years ago
Nah this thread is dead.

Thanks Toaster but I'm gonna try to stir up fun elsewhere.
4 years ago
Not anymore, I just assume a lot of mucho'ers are virgins
4 years ago
Threads aren't easy to follow when they get too long. :(
4 years ago
it is very suspicious, bono....
4 years ago
twss
4 years ago
Bono only reads books with lots of pictures I suspect
4 years ago
I lost my virginity in a drainage tunnel...true story
* jrob2020 rushes off to bed *
4 years ago
comic books ?
4 years ago
Toaster only eats books with lots of pictures I suspect.
4 years ago
THIS BOOK IS FULL OF WORDS! /bono throws book
4 years ago
Bono
1- I'm on my phone and over my typing I get a comment message.
2- it was not mine, but it had a smelly pussy in it so that counts for something.
3- don't be such a dick
4 years ago
OMG!
4 years ago
I eat all kinds of things, bono
4 years ago
1) That is not a valid excuse. If you are going to deliver a story, deliver a fucking story, not a fucking abortion.

2) It counts for jack shit. You are never going to fit in here BECAUSE OF THAT STORY.

3) Hi, I'm Bono. Nice to meet you. Cunt.
4 years ago
THIS BOWL IS FULL OF SALAD! /toaster dumps out salad, eats bowl
4 years ago
Jerkstore I suspect that comic books might have a few too many words for his liking
4 years ago
* possum tosses toaster's salad *
4 years ago
oh my
4 years ago
Can. you. imagine. The Smell.
4 years ago
Ever heard of Good Dog Carl? Bonos favorite book
4 years ago
wabbit sweat
4 years ago
Considering I work a manual labor job it'd probably smell like ass right now. shocking, ass that smells like ass
4 years ago
Ironic someone is making fun of my ability to comprehend words when 80% of their vocabulary consists of "book", "Bono", and "pie".
4 years ago
hey jack, pie is some pretty good shit
4 years ago
manual labor? what is your job ma'am?
4 years ago
Nah man, your ass smells like ass all the time.

After a hard day's work it smells like ass plus roll sweat, with a tinge of dingleberry paste. And it's all trapped inside your skin flaps. Yuck.
4 years ago
Anyone who doesn't like pie can just gtfo
4 years ago
do you lift boxes?
4 years ago
ITT:

Fat justification
4 years ago
possum don't give her attention.

there is no way to rationalize fat.
4 years ago
yer not the boss of me
4 years ago
I'm cash office & cart pusher at our Target. 3 hour cash office 6 hour cart pusher shifts
4 years ago
Or am I?
4 years ago
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
4 years ago
CART PUSHER!!!
4 years ago
Damn skippy, doesn't change the facts about pie though
4 years ago
wait - target is manual labor?

* possum snorks *
4 years ago
They don't even push them anymore. They have those remote things.
4 years ago
Nah ours is in our old mall so the parking lot isn't set up for the quick carts
4 years ago
Kinda sucks when you can be replaced by a 0.5 horsepower engine.

Don't they also have those on the back of icecream trucks?
4 years ago
I don't know, but I do like icecream trucks
4 years ago
That's because you're fat.
4 years ago
At the Targets here they basically put the most worthless motherfucker at the store on cart duty.
4 years ago
And that's saying something.
4 years ago
Yeah I tend to run my mouth a bit
4 years ago
man i'm too drunk for this
4 years ago
I do enjoy when they call for the front end manager and some fuck just piped off to me in the parking lot and I'm the one that responds :(
4 years ago
Poss you're never too drunk for mucho
4 years ago
The next time I see a 300 pound landwhale stocking shelves at Walmart, I'll think of you.
4 years ago
And then laugh.
4 years ago
Vikings Win!
4 years ago
It worries me how infatuated you are with me Bono
4 years ago
super bowl here we come!
4 years ago
pshaw Seahawks ftw
4 years ago
Oh no way!

The "Bono is obsessed/infatuated with me" defense.

Fucking classic.
4 years ago
Just when I thought you couldn't get any lazier.
4 years ago
Defense? What am I defending
4 years ago
..says the girl that barged into the thread to talk to bono
4 years ago
lol @ barged
4 years ago
Gotta throw my weight around one way or another don't I
4 years ago
and you said I didn't get to join in the sexy story time
4 years ago
yes, if you are going to refuse mine and my brother's sexual advances and claim to be "celibate"... then yes
4 years ago
I'm gonna go get some chicken. Don't you guys go anywhere.
4 years ago
Well it isn't like I'm making the stories right now, maybe I wanted to share the tales of losing my virginity or something ... one of them involves legos and pokemon even
4 years ago
Were you ever not overweight?
4 years ago
so toaster wants to have her cake and eat it too... what a surprise
4 years ago
I mean, can you believe where you are in life?

35 years old, hazardously obese, working at a Target pushing carts out with Dushan's retards, not in school, no career planned... then you get to go home and kill rabbits for what amounts to no good reason.

4 years ago
Yeah I was pretty thin before I hit puberty and if you ever tasted my cake you wouldn't want it any other way either
4 years ago
toaster's first time:

ouch

ouch ouch dammit ouch

...
4 years ago
Well it was the first time I ever missed midnight mass
4 years ago
cathlolic girls...
4 years ago
I am fucking one currently.

She's less fat.
4 years ago
My Mom was totally right about riding in cars with boys
4 years ago
ya right you jew
4 years ago
MOTHERFUCKER WHAT DO YOU WANNA BET I'M FUCKING A CATHOLIC GIRL

WINNER GETS YORICK

NO BACKSIES
4 years ago
She's probably a fake catholic girl
4 years ago
She probably hasn't missed midnight mass like you though
4 years ago
TheAllMightyToaster
Well it was the first time I ever missed midnight mass

*a meal
4 years ago
Only missed it twice, once in the car with a boy and then last year I went to a Lutheran church with the bf at the time
4 years ago
Like I've ever missed a meal, get real
4 years ago
What the hell is a " Catholic Girl " doing on Mucho anyhow. I think you need to have a heart to heart with your priest asap
4 years ago
My Mom told me they have my soul forever since I was baptized, I claim pastafarian, but I do have a sweet St George the Dragon Slayer mosaic table
4 years ago
pastafarianism was an awful joke that only people like tr think is funny
4 years ago
They get a cool deity
4 years ago
its not a real religion... its for bored atheists
4 years ago
There are far cooler deities in real religions.
4 years ago
good news...you can now become an ordained pastafarian minister for only $20
4 years ago
A flying spaghetti monster is pretty cool :(
4 years ago
it's actually pretty fucking dumb
but whatever, pretend worship any farcical religion you wish
4 years ago
I wish to be touched by his noodly appendage
4 years ago
Toaster worships food.
4 years ago
venganza.org has alexa rank of #164,335 in the world, with roughly 5562 daily unique visitors. This website has a Google PageRank of 6/10. It is a domain having .org extension and is hosted in Sweden. venganza.org estimated worth is: $42,000.00 and have a daily income of around $70.00. This website is also listed on Dmoz. As no active threats were reported recently, venganza.org is SAFE to browse.
4 years ago
you wish to be touched by all noodly appendages toaster
4 years ago
on the inside....
4 years ago
Took you all long enough, you were pretty late to this party
4 years ago
tr what site gives you dat dere info?
4 years ago
www.netvaluator.com

that's the same one that gave me the muchosucko info up there.
4 years ago
that was mostly to refute zeke's assertion that "pastafarianism was an awful joke that only people like tr think is funny"

5562 daily unique visitors
4 years ago
although, i did just order my ordination from the church of the flying spaghetti monster....
4 years ago
Ik I'm late but..
hi

Just gonna add a story to this thread
4 years ago
I might aswell contribute by telling about my one and only lesbian sexual experience (kissing girls doesn't count). Sorry if it's too long. This was when I was about 25 maybe.

Me and some friends were doing a night out but most local bars were overfilled so we couldn't get a drink anywhere. So we went from place to place looking, sharing a bottle of vodka between us when we met a mutual friend heading for a party nearby. Figured why not, let's crash it.

Get there, someone's apartment. Place is filled with 16 year olds drinking their parents liquor. But they let us in

One of the bedroom doors was closed and ppl was walking in and out (read girls). My male friend tried to go in but he got kicked out. I got curious and decided to take a look. What I found was a full blown lez orgy. I'm pretty wasted so I walk in, found a chair and sat there watching while sipping someone's stolen beer. A young girl wearing nothing but panties comes up to me, leans over and says something about how hot I make her feel (lmao). I seize the opportunity and gets her to sit down on my lap, we kiss, I suck her tits, all while listening to a bunch of girls moaning. Then I slide my hand down her panties, let my fingers glide in that ridiculously wet puss, bang her until she comes all over my hand. She's content so I'm about to get up and go when another girl comes over and wants to make out. We do, I finger her aswell then I'm pretty much done. I go out to the kitchen, wash my hands and gets me some beers. The rest is history.
The end.
4 years ago
* loslobos goes back to work *
4 years ago
Yeah , get some work done you lazy tranny
4 years ago
Fuckin tranny laughing at how she tricked a girl into making her feel hot cause she thought she was a girl...still hot.
4 years ago
On a side note; I'm still not sure why Jerby was banned. :(

But I'm kinda glad we have loslesbos.
4 years ago
Jb was banned?
4 years ago
she's on the "list"
4 years ago
but, perhaps i've typed too much....
4 years ago
tl:dr slutnuts
4 years ago
erim on phone but here it goes....in hs, my friend - lets call her sally, came over to my parents house before the battle of the bands. she brought her friend....myrtle, who was my friend.....bbrians girlfriend. me, sally and myrtle smoked a lot of weed. i was high out of my gourd when i look up and sally is at the top of the stairs in her bra "zeke i want to suck your dick"
naturally, i started giggling my ass off
she said "but one thing though....myrtle wants to watch"
i was like "you two better not be fucking with me" and myrtle looked deAd at me and said "shes never given a blowjob before....im gonna mqke sure she does it right"
so we went downstairs, annd i layed down on a bed, and pulled out my dick. sally at that point got nervous, and myrtle sitting next to me was trying to coax her ov
4 years ago
http://i.imgur.com/wZmCG4V.gif
4 years ago
over...
and she asked " have you ever gotten a blowjob"
i had not
" but youve had sex right"
well yeah, she just wouldnt go down on me
then myrtle said "well then i have to su k your dick"
as she was lowering her head down she said "i shouldnt be doing this".......
4 years ago
so there was my childhood friends gf giving me my first bj and soon sally took over while i got myrtle naked and did everything a noob does to a naked girl. at one point sally said "omg he just keeps cumming" myrtle sa
4 years ago
said...so keep swallowing
she did
eventually we moved to another room where i dry humped my friends gf through mesh bball shorts and the other one watched
i was running on empty so i was jacking it into sallys open mouth with myrtle naked and around my armbstanding beside me when the phone rang....bbrian
myrtle flipped..high as fuck she was trying to tell me to tell him not to come over....i told him to come on over. then i told his gf to help me finish in sallys mouth. by the time bbrian got there we were all upstairs, and he said "this is why i dont smoke pot...you guys are acting fucking weird"
4 years ago
(the names have been changed)
4 years ago
"Like" for bbrian.
4 years ago
It's partially true about the tranny part. I've always been a tom-boy, but never felt an attraction to girls really unless I was drunk. There's been a lot of offers from dykes and let me tell ya they been some pretty girls too, but I declined the most part.
That story is one of the best sexual memories I have. Even my friends at the party couldn't believe it was true lol until one of the chicks came out and told her friends. Ah.. Good times xD
4 years ago
Enough about this.
Zeke, I liked your story. We need more story telling times in general
4 years ago
Here's a quick story, that I particularly like for the revenge factor.

Growing up I was upper middle class, private schools all that jazz, until middle school when my dad lost his job and took a lesser paying job somewhere else. Most of my friends didn't care, but one decided I was no longer cool enough to hang out with. Let's call him Michael. So for the remainder of my school years this faggot acts all high and mighty although I'm still going to the same parties as him and we're in the same clique. I couldn't stand his snide little remarks or his smug looking fat little face. (he looks like one of the pudgy gangster pigeons off Animaniacs btw).

So, one night there's a party at the richest kid in town's house, we'll call him Kirk, a friend that stayed loyal. So me and my buddy Larry get high as hell and head on out there to meet everyone and raise some hell. On the way out there he tells me that Michael and Kirk have a couple girls coming to the party from out of town and they plan on hooking up with them while Kirk's parents are out of town so they can lose their virginities. "Cool deal" I said, I was high as fuck and could care less.

We get there, and everyone's having a good time, I see Michael and he talks to Larry and says hey to me in that "I'm better than you" tone he always had saved for me. I shrug it off and head on to find someone else to chill with, when the two out of town girls spot me. They giggle and start whispering. I figure they are talking shit about me, musta heard something from Michael. I blow it off and go inside, find some friends. A couple hours later after the booze had been flowing, the two girls get away from Michael and Kirk and find me outside smoking a blunt with Larry and others, and come squish in beside me on both sides. They start telling me how cute I am and how much they would have rather come to see me. I don't believe it. I keep smoking. Michael put them up to this, it's a trick. They keep going on, touching me, asking me back to the house. I cave. I figure, fuck it, if it's a trick I'll beat Michael's ass and end this once and for all.

We go up to the house, friend's cheering me on. We go into Kirk's little brothers posh bedroom and climb onto the top bunk of his bunk bed. One on each side I start finger banging and making out with both of them, moving from one side to another. The lights pop on. It's Michael and Kirk. The look on their faces is priceless. Micheal looks like he saw a dead body and Kirk just started grinning at us. They came over to the bed while I continued to finger bang them and they both were rolling their eyes and nudging me to quit. I didn't. Finally Michael and Kirk realized the girls were serious when they said they were staying with me. Kirk tells us we can't be in his little brother's bed. So we laugh as they walk out. They readjust and we get out. Walking out of the door there is a burst of applause outside. We all blush and laugh. Michael is standing at the front of the fire looking like a demon hell bent on my destruction. I flip him the bird. I ended up dating the one with the biggest tits. /End story.
4 years ago
Here's a perfect picture I just found to go along with my story. lmmfao.
http://i.imgur.com/mcYbgNr.jpg
4 years ago
So who's next?
4 years ago
im bored but still not bored enough to read any of that
4 years ago
I wouldn't expect you to, I'm sure it's hard to read on a 4th grade lvl.
4 years ago
Reeding iss hared.
4 years ago
nah i just prefer to read things that are interesting
4 years ago
like jrob comments
4 years ago
Or your lawyer's letters telling you to pay child support.
4 years ago
at least an actuall woman had consensual sex with me before
4 years ago
I'm sure you just skim through it until you find the $ and then ball it up and toss it.
4 years ago
youre fat
you have a pignose/face
youre a coward
fite me irl fgt
4 years ago
Oh lawd, jroob makes a fake funny.

Listen, son, not everyone on the internet is a virgin. This isn't 1995.
4 years ago
i have proof,do you?

NOPE
4 years ago
pwn'd
/thread
4 years ago
you're a felon
you head looks like a globe
youre a coward
bring it
4 years ago
Let's just say, the chatfags know I get mines.

/fin
4 years ago
i'm a felon....means i lived a full exciting life,square
chatfags dont count
4 years ago
No...that means you were dumb enough to get caught.
4 years ago
if you never got caught you didnt party hard enough
4 years ago
Keep on making up excuses to make yourself feel good. It means you suck at partying hard. fact.
4 years ago
no i pretty much summed it up,square
4 years ago
I used to run lbs across state lines for an ounce, that was my profit. You saying because I never got caught I wasn't "hardcore"?
4 years ago
yes that's what i said
try and keep up big guy
4 years ago
taking penitentary chances for an ounce,who's the stupid one now?
4 years ago
Not the guy who never got caught...
4 years ago
I like how you know to call me "big guy"

Prison rules.
4 years ago
like you know anything about prison.....square
4 years ago
tr has more street cred than dush :(
4 years ago
I took a prison tour once, and the inmate who was in charge of leading it tried to shank me. True story.
4 years ago
Took a shank off the illustration board and jumped across 2 tables at me, I just sat there. 3 guards and 2 fellow inmates ran to hold him back. I laughed. He cursed at me as they drug him out.
4 years ago
cool story squarebro
4 years ago
jeebus...
4 years ago
Why don't you tell us some of yours? You're kin to jrob right? In the fact you served time? Carry on.
4 years ago
Dushan, you were on scared straight, it was an act. Fact.
4 years ago
its something you forget not try to relive....square
4 years ago
pussy
4 years ago
No, I watch that show, this was different.
4 years ago
you guys like my avy?
4 years ago
whole lotta pussy, yes I do.
4 years ago
no
4 years ago
you need to see it ful size to soak in the full glory...i laughed pretty hard
http://i.imgur.com/hOoXp2Q.gif
4 years ago
in?
4 years ago
no. fuck cats.
4 years ago
Does the word "in" flash on the cats chin right before his head turns?
4 years ago
Cat faggotry Level 9
4 years ago
Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. A roomble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. me crew be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o' newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a' kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil twat, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess knob.
4 years ago
not sure what the "in" is for...didnt notice it
4 years ago
we need a new thread, this one is too long.
4 years ago
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pKyTfS45io
4 years ago
No one knows the anger that is inside of me, the pain that has festered the amount of pain that I could deliver upon this world, this "world". This imaginary place I call my life. It's a facade that upholds itself upon me and drags me down into the periless fire that wishes to ensue upon me. The anger. The frustration. THE MASS DESTRUCTION! I am a kamikazee, I am a self destructive bomb, but they don't get the fact that I keep hissing and hinting that I'm about to explode.
4 years ago
I was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding....
4 years ago
Sporty
4 years ago
vomitcircus
4 years ago
Lowie.
4 years ago
RIP
4 years ago
rking
4 years ago
Wait....why RIP Lowie?

He was like my European soul brother :'(
4 years ago
where the fuck IS lowie.
4 years ago
he had an unnapreciation for the poncy arts
4 years ago
Ogami
4 years ago
toolman in his early years
4 years ago
Repost you stupid cunts
4 years ago
Can see his chopper
4 years ago
guys what is your favourite burger at burger king
i want to eat something and this dude caught my eye http://www.burgerking.de/menu/x-tra-long-rodeo-bbq but im not quite sure
4 years ago
The quarter pounder mcrib cheesy cheddar burger with supersonic fries super sized.
4 years ago
Burger King franchises are dying in my city.
4 years ago
recover password
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