points: 30

I believe I can fly

NSFW

salmonella anyone?

featuredwtf

by Jenbirdy

submitted May 19th 2013

190 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
I believe I can fly
tagged:
comments (190)
Fries, try to be fast this time and UV it as first one.
4 years ago
That has to feel horrible. fries would be fucking the chicken.
4 years ago
penis is safe ... you cant catch salmonella from that
4 years ago
you need feathers to fly
4 years ago
That's deep, man.
4 years ago
cock a doodle doo
4 years ago
Is that how you got that salmonella intoxication the other day ?
4 years ago
it was a stomach bug ;(
4 years ago
Same result I guess.
4 years ago
not nearly as bad as salmonella poisoning.... which I've had twice.... both from pizzas at Mr. Gattis..... don't get tomato on them ;/
4 years ago
I had a severe case of salmonella about twenty years ago also from a pizzeria, lost about 50 lbs was in the hospital quarantined for three weeks and had my last rights read to me. I have never smelled anything as foul as the black tar shit that came out of me when there was nothing else left.
4 years ago
dude, that's horrible ;(
4 years ago
Tomatoes are evil for that. I had it from a warm sandwich with ... right tomatoes in it.
4 years ago
I didn't sleep for more than fie minutes at a time for two weeks due to my constant "shitting" if that is what you would want to call it.
When I got out and was well enough I went and smashed the plate glass window on that shop.
4 years ago
five*
4 years ago
i eat questionable tomatos all the time....stop scaring me
4 years ago
it was the tomatoes, wasn't it.....
4 years ago
mine was from a roast beef hero, pretty sure it was the mayo
4 years ago
cant you sue? or is it impossible to prove?
4 years ago
it was christmas time and I had food in god knows how many places that day
4 years ago
what a great new years that was
4 years ago
i know a guy that had food poisoning...went to see a lawyer and was basically told to forget it..
4 years ago
Guess it's hard to prove what exactly caused it ...
4 years ago
too many dumbasses shoving mice in their chicken salad..noone believes a real lawsuit now
4 years ago
I was 13 the first time and at baton twirling camp, I was hospitalized for 2 days, the nurse on call at the university accidentally caught the wing on fire with stovetop popcorn after she was called when I collapsed.... fun times
4 years ago
lmao
4 years ago
sorry dik, phone muchoing....
4 years ago
"baton camp"
4 years ago
sorry for what?
4 years ago
for everything youve ever done? the harassment? the terrible things you said to me and about me?
4 years ago
NO HARM DONE
4 years ago
yeah don't worry Jen, dik has no feelings....
4 years ago
haha ya
4 years ago
^what the hell just happened?
4 years ago
we all can't believe your still here. faggot
4 years ago
oh, L0RD.
4 years ago
/ignore
4 years ago
fine.
4 years ago
bit off bite it off!!
4 years ago
THIS GUY IS STUPIT, I WISH MEN WOULD NOT STICK ANYTHING UP THIER DICK BECAUSE IT IS VERY DANGEROUS AND CAN KILL YOU. AND STOP CUTTING THEM OFF THATS JUST PLAIN SICK!
4 years ago
produce thine teets, fair possum
4 years ago
Are you tweaked out on blow right now, or what?
4 years ago
that was @jb, dush
4 years ago
calm down
4 years ago
What are you doing right now, Dush?
4 years ago
AAHHHHH HOW CUTE POSSUM IS :) I didnt know you can have a possum for a pet? arent they dangerous???
4 years ago
what's up, dik! have a good day off work, at the ol' homestead?
4 years ago
^ I know I did...8)
4 years ago
I'm about 97% sure right now, I'm muchoing?
4 years ago
^ well, ya coulda fooled me, mister. 8O
4 years ago
MY MOM IS DEAD SO FUCK OFF BITCH!!!!
4 years ago
Hey, JB..me and you could start a club, and call it, "the dead mothers society". Just sayin'..
4 years ago
maybe shes just passed out from the heroin
4 years ago
any, jb. I was talking to Dush. Are you wasted?
4 years ago
*anyways
4 years ago
im horny and I NEED SEX RIGHT NOW!!!! whaaaaaaa!!!
4 years ago
oh, so both you and punky have a few things in common: An obscenely rank urinary tract infection, orphans, fat and annoying.
4 years ago
jodi - hairy tits or gtfo
4 years ago
yikes
4 years ago
Umm, not at the moment. I decided to day drink and started at 9...I passed out at 1, slept all day. Now I'm just dizzy.
4 years ago
that was funny as hell!!!
4 years ago
Today, for a split second, I thought it would be cool to get an MS 4 Lyfe tattoo....until I daydreamed that if I were to ever get into a drug war in Mexico and someone saw it...I would be mistaken for MS-13 :(
4 years ago
@Dush I took two Synedrex pills around 4am..and those bitches are just now wearing off. Those fuckers don't fuck around.
4 years ago
ive missed you punky
4 years ago
zeeeeeeeeeke...8)
4 years ago
WOW THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!
4 years ago
dush, yeahh............ prison gangs don't like rival affiliates
4 years ago
exactly. dreams RUINED!
4 years ago
Jodi, you know what's not funny. Not showing tits.
4 years ago
or at least armpit
4 years ago
@jb I'm gonna make you a t-shirt, that has a 'cap-lock' button on the front, and says "Cap Queen" on the back. Chill...
4 years ago
WOW wasn't expecting that. that was so FUNNY, I couldnt stop laughing for an hour it was so funny.
4 years ago
time for your riddlin, jb.
4 years ago
"riddlin"??
4 years ago
wait for what? for your son to come out?
4 years ago
i didn't know how to spell it, CB..jeez...
4 years ago
*ritalin
4 years ago
thanks, GH.
4 years ago
DRUGS ARE BAD
4 years ago
NOOOOOO
4 years ago
^sorry for the caps
4 years ago
All those times looking at the labels on your meds and you still can't spell it?
4 years ago
Jodi babe has a hook nose.
4 years ago
@CB Hhahaha
4 years ago
the cow wins with a bite to the ass
4 years ago
upon further inspection Jodibabe looks like a meth user with a wonky eye.

* L0RD_QU3S0 recedes his tits request and moves along *
4 years ago
@GH jodibabe probably has a hook for a left hand, and an eye-patch to go with it.
4 years ago
Jodi babe also has a long white tail.
4 years ago
And a mustache.
4 years ago
reeaally?
4 years ago
is that for real??
4 years ago
Queso was trying to inform you of the ru-els. Pits or get the fucking tits out. Those are the ru-els.
4 years ago
who is this idiot?
4 years ago
GET HIM....DIK!!!!!!!
4 years ago
jodibabe is a whore.
4 years ago
stupit people.
4 years ago
^stupit people.
4 years ago
hahahaha it's STUPID!!!!
4 years ago
I know pronounce you Miss Punky
4 years ago
im sure you guys can handle this
4 years ago
she looks like she would suck the skin off a dick for a handful of pills.

* DushanMandik scratches the numbers off of vitamins and passes them off as percocets. *
4 years ago
wait...is it stopid, or sttuppid? fuck it..
4 years ago
stupit idiot!!! stop doing that before you kill tourself!!
4 years ago
@Dush I got one P-10. Only one though. 8(
4 years ago
*I've
4 years ago
oh no the spider just bit you! :)
4 years ago
im so cold
4 years ago
*hot
4 years ago
@jb practice on Tuesday????
4 years ago
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
4 years ago
^whammy
4 years ago
jodibabe you look like the type of chick that possum would do the sexy time with.
4 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sg5ZMrElEg
4 years ago
thanks, 420...I guess....8(
4 years ago
NO WAY
4 years ago
why thank you punky
you really know hlw to make a guy feel special
4 years ago
why what is wrong with the poss man? He seem like a cool cat.
4 years ago
yuk!!
4 years ago
@CB That shit was lame, cat. Step up, I luv ya(<box) 8)
4 years ago
"the poss man"?



now i know youre white
4 years ago
what is MS?
4 years ago
Tiny bit. The Irish part of me. Some times comes out.
4 years ago
@jb MS> "messy, sister"
4 years ago
Multiple Sclerosis
4 years ago
But don't get it twisted zeke i am still......
http://muchosucko.com/112123/Im-black-yall
4 years ago
^creepy
4 years ago
I'm black from the waist down, 420. 8)
4 years ago
what that means? you can run fast.
4 years ago
W
4 years ago
with your baby dick having ass.
4 years ago
no td, He has bad credit
4 years ago
because his wallet is in his pocket
4 years ago
that's where he keeps his debit card that he pretends is a credit card
4 years ago
^HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 years ago
fuck you faggot
4 years ago
^WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 years ago
* PunkyBruiser goes back to new sub file.. *
4 years ago
pu
remember what we talked about?
4 years ago
punky?
4 years ago
@zeke my long nose hairs?
4 years ago
oh..you're right there.
4 years ago
yeah jodie
4 years ago
shh
4 years ago

tits!
4 years ago
looks like someone failed the messager box
4 years ago
Why aren't you on your mac stealing wifi from behind Mcdonalds?

Did you learn nothing from Tr's hobo excursions?
4 years ago
^lmao
4 years ago
itsike a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how i keep from goi g under
4 years ago
well, that was semi-entertaining
4 years ago
at least to me
4 years ago
poss...I luv ya..."punkybox...out. 8)
4 years ago
everybody be cool, okay?
4 years ago
ice cold
4 years ago
idk im gpin to bed
4 years ago
wifi tomorrow
4 years ago
"cold as ice"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UdXbMyo1rU
4 years ago
tr sez taco bell has great wifi
4 years ago
^lol I use Wendy's. 8)
4 years ago
I liked your 'bass-solo' sub, poss. I hate "slappin" bass players as well. That cat was pretty decent.
4 years ago
oh shit..let me back that statement up.

* PunkyBruiser heads for the upvote button. *
4 years ago
If I ever go "camping" it will definitely be behind a Taco Bell.
4 years ago
when I "head for the border" I always order extra beef. There's something about Taco Bell's beef. I asked a manager about one day last year, and she said they changed their recipe about a year ago, and it's been at hit so far.
4 years ago
They used to use ears and noses. Now they use buttholes. hence, your new attraction to the flavour.
4 years ago
really the best wifi is in days inn parking lots cuz no one will question you there
i dont expect tr to know that though......
4 years ago
Sounds like you two should collaborate and write a "how to"
4 years ago
everything is good, when ya got a buzz..8P
4 years ago
"everything is good, when ya got a buzz"..8P


http://muchosucko.com/109783/The-Mucho-Horror-Groove

4 years ago
i just kicked over my ash tray then my beer whilst singing
"baby got back"
i think i need more
4 years ago
^lol!!
4 years ago
lol @ "ashtray"...poor zeke, still clinging to the small comforts of civilized life :(
4 years ago
a poor mans ashtray is the best. An empty "Van-Camps" chili can, half full of water.
4 years ago
rally just a cicle of crushed cans:(
4 years ago
^8o
4 years ago
Fuck it, I wanna go to baton twirling camp!
4 years ago
are you calling me a sissy, browns?
4 years ago
I hope not....
4 years ago
Jenbirdy

I was 13 the first time and at baton twirling camp, I was hospitalized for 2 days, the nurse on call at the university accidentally caught the wing on fire with stovetop popcorn after she was called when I collapsed.... fun times
4 years ago
I would have paid good money to see JenB at baton twirling camp......
4 years ago
*nude
4 years ago
I would have paid good money to see JenB at baton twirling camp...sucking on(my)a big juicy cock, BW.
4 years ago
*Inb4 why was you at baton twirling camp, PB?
4 years ago
in the recent comments section, it looks like brownwings is regaling the tale of his time at baton twirling to jenbirdy
4 years ago
recover password
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