points: 39

A little something for the ladies...

Education is a wonderful thing.

featuredretro

by Sporty

submitted April 28th 2013

105 comments
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A little something for the ladies...
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comments (105)
Whoaaa. Role reversal.
5 years ago
I was looking through one of my mother's cookbooks one time and it said 'when you find yourself a husband, it's important to know how he likes his eggs. Your new husband will have a favorite indeed, but you should keep this book handy and know how to prepare them all in case he decides for a change.' Then it was like 20 ways to cook an egg. The whole book was layed out that way.
Of course my mother never cracked that book in her life. Stupid bitch.
5 years ago
* grabs another beer for zeke and sits at the table *
5 years ago
My father said to me "before you marry someone make sure she knows how to cook" at the dinner table....I said "I'd just eat a bowl of cereal and not be such a fucking asshole"
5 years ago
* nods to show he's listening *
5 years ago
oh there's lots of stories like that
but punky told me I had to stop "showing my feelings"
hahaha....that punky
5 years ago
* quits paying attention and waves excitedly in hockeybritt's direction *
5 years ago

tr_willk
I used to sell blow up dolls at the porno shop. The guys that would actually break down and buy a doll just didn't give a damn. It was always a challenge not to bust a gut laughing, or at least snicker a little...but those dolls were expensive items and I got a cut of some of that action. One guy in particular stands out...he bought his doll, took "her" to the sleazy-mart next door and inflated her at the air pump. He put her on the back of his bike (bicycle) and rode down the street with his lady, naked as the day she was manufactured.
5 years ago
report spam | like | stfu
invalid
haha...naked as the day she was manufactured...haha
5 years ago
report spam | like | stfu
Stallan
lol
5 years ago
report spam | like | stfu
Delilah
Must have been love at first sight.
5 years ago
report spam | like | stfu
tr_willk
probably the best thing about the job was that i ended up getting together with the one girl that worked our shift. she was, by default, the hotest girl at the porn shop, the stuff of fantasies of alot of men (being the actual girl that sold them the porn causes that). not all the pervs knew that i was having my way with her on a daily basis, but it wasn't hard to find out. and, it was 4:20 at that job more than once a night...some days it seemed like the clock was stuck at twenty after four...good times...and, one of the other guys who worked with us was outrageously in love with her (which i was oblivious to) and i would tell him stories along the lines of how she would get all mad because i would play video games instead of spend time with her, but i would give her the option to suck my dick while i was playing and if she did a good enough job i'd stop playing (alas, i never stopped). plus, i could have banged that guy's baby mama anytime i wanted.
5 years ago
report spam | like | stfu
rimjoy
5 years ago
* pushes tr_jodi over and keeps waving at britt *
5 years ago
All I heard was Hockeybritt
5 years ago
BACK THE FUCK UP MAKO

* Smashes bottle and brandishes the remnants *
5 years ago
who brings a niggerknife to a gun fight? .... really
5 years ago
* xzekiel waves furiously @ mako *
5 years ago
fucking noobs
5 years ago
Mythbusters proved a knife is more than worthy against a gun in close quarters.
5 years ago
hey jodi, WHERE'S YOUR TITS PIC?
5 years ago
YEAH JODI
TITSORGTFO!
5 years ago
* xzekiel backhands jodi *

WHERE'S MY DINNER WOMAN?!?!
5 years ago
you know what's prevalent to close quarters combat? titties
jodibabe tha fuq?
5 years ago
* starts sobbing into his hands after britt leaves *
5 years ago
Zeke, care to wear a blonde wig tonight?
5 years ago
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN IS FUCKING AWESOME!
5 years ago
( O_O ) i mean
5 years ago
is it ok if i put the wig in curlers and wear a cucumber mask?
5 years ago
jodibabe scampers
5 years ago
open tits bb
5 years ago
ohfuckinggoddamnitsonofabitch

fuck you possum.
5 years ago
i totally forgot -_-
5 years ago
@zeke how is it not being an asshole? Just saying?
5 years ago
jodi, you blonde and play goalie bb?
5 years ago
/sam jacksons stares at freshie dressed as John McClain: Can we get to the matter at hand?
5 years ago
jodinoob tits or leave
5 years ago
no comprende mako por favor
5 years ago
I was just remarking on your cereal comment is all. Do I have to read tr's copypaste to get the rest of the thread?
5 years ago
nah
5 years ago
oh it wasn't tr's
5 years ago
I was just curious why freshie was threatening you with a broken bottle
5 years ago
me too, I think he was defending you in advance
5 years ago
aww
ty freshie
<3
5 years ago
BOOFFFF
5 years ago
Anytime.....britt.

* adjusts zekes new blonde wig *
5 years ago
hahaha
5 years ago
So glad i have naked possum blocked. So glad.
5 years ago
was there some sort of sodak ritual going on where they bind the hips of a man to make them narrower and more attractive to women? Like in china?
5 years ago
was that the unveiling? Hence the pride?
5 years ago
lol
5 years ago
I'd like to know who thought up the foot binding in China and thought it looked good.

That shit is creepy as fuck.
5 years ago
naw i was just free, white, and 30-something
5 years ago
that whole african skull shaping thing is creepy too. I blame boredom
5 years ago
Religion*
5 years ago
drugs*
5 years ago
wimmin*
5 years ago
african skull what?
5 years ago
asssphinctersayswhat?
5 years ago
I think he means flattening....which was the Mayans or something
5 years ago
http://i38.tinypic.com/9ats05.jpg
5 years ago
Does she not know you put the golf tee over your ear not through it?
5 years ago
it's a status symbol :/
5 years ago
nice work, jodibabe
5 years ago
you know how i know that wasn't really tr way up there ^^?
5 years ago
the tr we all know and hate would never say "alot".
5 years ago
unless he was in character?
5 years ago
He's not that good of an actor.
5 years ago
but he is crazy enough to do that
5 years ago
crazy isnt the word i'd use, but okay
5 years ago
oh i wouldnt be so sure, tr is definitely the shy nerdy type on the outside but on the inside he is the "it puts the lotion on its skin" type
5 years ago
I mean I maybe would have said pathetic instead. He's just really, really slimy.
5 years ago
just a stones throw away from wearing peoples skin as a suit
5 years ago
it was actually only recently that i rediscovered that "alot" isn't actually a word
5 years ago
and i'd be more like hannibal lecter than buffalo bill
5 years ago
if i was a psychopath
5 years ago
so, what's the theory here, snappy?

"i" hacked this account unbeknownst to the real tr_willk?
5 years ago
dont use words like alot, stuff, and very. those are lazy words. the only reason language was invented was so man could swoon women and being lazy is going to get you nowhere in that department
5 years ago
upon reflection, i suspect that i was utilizing "Bob's" maxin to "act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal" previously.

too late to go back to that now, unfortunately.
5 years ago
there are as many losers out there looking for pity fucks as there are "artists" and "musicians" looking for jobs. better stick with pretending to be smart til you can lure them into your pit
5 years ago
right, "pretending"

i mean, in actuality i do dumb it down quite a bit, and even then i'm still accused of excessive brilliance (as if that is a bad thing).
5 years ago
in a rational world, the encyclopedic synthesists would make every decision of importance.
5 years ago
cause intelligence is a womans biggest turn off...
5 years ago
since when?
5 years ago
i think its excessive arrogance, not brilliance, coupled with delusions of grandeur that keeps your bed cold
5 years ago
hello
5 years ago
* jrob2020 does a somersault *
5 years ago
* dwhill05 laughs at jrob after he flops around on the floor *
5 years ago
Don't forget greasy sheets and the sleep apnea induced snoring.
5 years ago
yet "my" bed isn't cold...otherwise that argument might have some merit...of course, it isn't delusions of grandeur if the subject actually is superior....
5 years ago
If they ever invent time machines, I know where I'm going.
5 years ago
mama?
5 years ago
shutuppossum
5 years ago
sorry dush - i'm not trying to be an ass, i'm just pretty tipsy
5 years ago
pfft....like you ever need to apologize to dush of all people for being a drunken ass
5 years ago
haha
5 years ago
what zeke said
5 years ago
so, i did research for a while tonight whilst watching baseball, It was funy and sad
5 years ago
do tell...
5 years ago
you don't watch baseball.
5 years ago
i do so!
* possum hums the Twins song now *
5 years ago
Who's the all time MLB Home Run leader?

QUICK
5 years ago
anyway - @bong - it was mostly It-related,,,and yes i feel semi-bacony
5 years ago
MEEEEE?
5 years ago
hank aaron you watercooler twat!
5 years ago
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
5 years ago
Fucking god damn interposter....
5 years ago
I didn't see glitter anywhere so I assumed it was ok to reply.
5 years ago
wouldn't it be suspicious if a new user named "jodibaby" signed up and upvoted all my submissions?
5 years ago
recover password
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