by sithlordchrono

submitted July 9th 2012

214 comments
what do you think? let everyone know!
Man Card
tagged:
comments (214)
I did all those things...but I turned my card in some time ago.
10 months ago
*lost it in the divorce
10 months ago
i have done several of these things but not all
10 months ago
only thing on this list i've ever done is Take Up Smoking Tobacco From A Pipe...and that's only cause i was jonesing
10 months ago
You mean you've never built a log cabin?
10 months ago
is that a euphemism ?
10 months ago
Some friends and I built one when we were around 14-16 in the woods behind a church. A two story one with stairs, a porch, and an indoor shitter, but when the church found out about it, they contacted the town and they brought bulldozers to demolish it because we hadn't obtained the "proper building permits"


dreams dashed...
10 months ago
The J.O. cabin.
10 months ago
Jerk off?
10 months ago
Not today, but thanks for asking.
10 months ago
Oh come on...Im only offering this once goober.
10 months ago
my brother and i tried to build an underground "clubhouse" when i was 10... we had blueprints and everything - unfortunately when we dug down past four feet we hit the water-table

...to this this day there is a small rectangular pond in northern minnesota that should be named Possum Lake
10 months ago
i think sporty is remembering his childhood as an 80s movie......
10 months ago
Nope...swear to christ it's true...we cut down the trees and everything. It was pretty epic.
10 months ago
did you try and find one eyed willies treasure to save it?

YOU LIAR
10 months ago
Not lying yak.


Just sayin....its not that hard to believe...
10 months ago
Only thing I have done on here is also smoke from a pipe. Been thinking bout growing an epic beard.
10 months ago
now MY story is actual truth - i can even give you Google map coordinates
10 months ago
Why the hell would I lie about about a stinkin cabin???wtf would that do for me?
10 months ago
chiillax sportseph
10 months ago
Im going to bed before my head asplodes.
10 months ago
let me guess... just before the bulldozer was about to demolish the place... your best friend tells you that hes actually an alien hitchhiker, wisks you off of earth seconds before its destroyed by an alien race called the vogons...
REAL BELIEVABLE SPORT REAL FUCKING BELIEVABLE
10 months ago
i once dug up my wife's grave , and built a cage with her bones
10 months ago
* possum used to be SO excitable *
10 months ago
You didnt listen to the vogon poetry, did you?!
10 months ago
me?
10 months ago
* yak wooshes *

10 months ago
Hey, you guys wanna see a dead body?
10 months ago
sure right after i have these maggots
10 months ago
at least yak is Mostly Harmless
10 months ago
Deja, on the other hand - is 99.9% pure Vogon
10 months ago
her poetry is pretty bad...
10 months ago
3rd worst poetry on mucho...
10 months ago
* possum freddles my gruntbuggly in terror now *
10 months ago
Basically to be a man you must go live in the wild and almost die
10 months ago
I wonder how mountain women feel about this.
10 months ago
obviously you've never heard of Dick Proenneke. Theres a man.
10 months ago
That guy from the Alaska doc.. badass indeed.
10 months ago
The most interesting man in the world shines that guy's shoes.
10 months ago
agreed.
10 months ago
Glenlivet 18??? psshhh.... id just assume drink Scorsby if that is the standard
10 months ago
is it a type of gin? I'm not really a spirits connoisseur. I'm more of a buy cheap and mix
10 months ago
its a bottom-shelf blended scotch... sucks ass
10 months ago
i mean the scorsby.... the glenlivet 18 is actually not bad.... if youre a scotch noob though......
10 months ago
Only a noob drinks blended
10 months ago
Let me rephrase that,. single malt and cognac are much more enjoyable to the pallete if you enjoy fine whiskey.
10 months ago
cognac isn't whiskey...
10 months ago
OOOHH Yes it is..
10 months ago
SHIT JUST GOT REAL
10 months ago
Cognac is brandy, whiskey is made from grain mash, cognac from grapes.
10 months ago
I could go on.
10 months ago
All cognac is is single malt high end whiskey..
10 months ago
lol again, cognac is brandy which is made from grapes, which comes from the Cognac region in France. The similarity is possibly from the aging process, but thats about it.
10 months ago
Bake a pie Eat a pie
10 months ago
uh, yeah.
10 months ago
* smerf facepalms akameldon *
10 months ago
lol
4 weeks ago
where is the I Walked Naked Into A Prison Shower And Nobody Butt-Raped Me card?
10 months ago
on the floor
10 months ago
next to the soap
10 months ago
* possum gets all tippy-toey now *
10 months ago
Drum is on a roll tonight.
10 months ago
clearly hes been taking some sort of humor supplement
10 months ago
no spot for 'fight and kill a bear "the ancient" way'......
odd
10 months ago
um
10 months ago
Sorry yak, meant to hit the like button.
10 months ago
day ruined.
10 months ago
Everyone should have to kill, gut, butcher and eat a large game animal at least once in their life. Just so they know that meat doesn't come from the grocery store.

P.S. Fuck the stack!
10 months ago
why would i do that when i
A) like meat
B) dont like guts and gore
10 months ago
* possum goes to the grocer, and has a happy *
10 months ago
mmm sausage
10 months ago
A... buckskin knife?

Did the mess up Buck Knife or skinning knife?
10 months ago
Some of these are questionable requirements. Seems this might have been made by someone in the south.
10 months ago
I feel they are fair, for the most part.

Either way...

Scar, check (not a large scar);
Kitten, check;
Pipe, check;
Glenlivet, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check aaaaannnnnd check;
Engine, partial check;
welding, check;
knife, check
10 months ago
I have 5 of these under my 'belt'.
10 months ago
I can only lay claim to the Glenlivet, Kitten & Steve McQueen accomplishments. -sigh-
10 months ago
I've got six, and damn close on two.

Damn rattle snakes, and their stupid warning noises!
10 months ago
wow - you guyz be overcompensating
10 months ago
I refuse to grow the beard.
10 months ago
And I'd rather not get bitten by a rattlesnake (which we don't have here). I also wont join a lumberjack competition.

* smerf walks away singing the Lumberjack Song *
10 months ago
Do Lincoln Logs cabins count as building a log cabin? Seems to me it could be open to interpretation.
10 months ago
no
10 months ago
Lincoln Logs are manly as fuck. I choose to interpret it as counting. Make that FOUR man-card accomplishments for Freshie.
10 months ago
What if you built a life size scale of a log cabin with Lincoln Logs?
10 months ago
FYI, one of these should be "Shot at by gun"...(which would give me 6).
10 months ago
They left out

1. Work on an actual ranch.
2. Ride and get bucked off of a few horses.
3. Fix fence.
4. Slaughter and pluck chickens.
5. Clean a chicken coop.
10 months ago
Yeah, Captain. That would add one to my card, too.
10 months ago
Getting shot at definitely counts.

Stories?
10 months ago
Taking a shortcut home from school through a wooden area (public land), some teenagers decided to shoot at me. I was maybe 9 or 10 at the time.
10 months ago
Had a fucking bullet hole in my jacket.
10 months ago
...you were probably wearing the wrong colors.
10 months ago
They were suburban white guys. They weren't even in a gang to have colors for.
10 months ago
Epic beard, check.
Buckskin knife, check.
Rebuild engine, check.
Weld, check.
Kitten, check.
Glenlivet, check.
Might do one or two of the others, but not likely at this lazy point in my life. Missing from the list: Fire 50 cal machine gun or Minigun, check.
10 months ago
Firing a 50 cal machine gun is alot of fun, personally i prefer the M19 fully automatic 40mm grenade launcher
10 months ago
ive held a 50 cal but not fired it yet, ive shot a full auto m16 though. and i have also done all the things on rolands addendum list. growing up in the south and being a redneck most of this stuff just comes naturally to you
10 months ago
totally understandable man, the M-16 that you fired was the M-16 A-1 its a pretty nice piece of weaponry all be it really bitchy when it gets dirty. The M-16 A-2 on the other hand is still just as bitchy but is somewhat lighter and only has the semi and 3 round burst function
10 months ago
they guy with all the guns has a m4 with a grenade launcher under the barrel. his fire range at home isnt big enough to shoot the 50 cal sniper rifle he has so thats why i havent gotten to shoot it yet but one day...
10 months ago
yeah the M203 40mm grenade attachment for the M4 and the M16 is alot of fun
10 months ago
HOLY FUCK SHUT UP
10 months ago
Yak, wanna go slingshot shopping at canadian tire?
10 months ago
I had a 1919a4 browning with a shortened tanker barell that was a blast to shoot, I just hated reloading the belts.. its a bitch doing it manually when you cant find a beltlinker
10 months ago
they have a nice selection of knives.... maybe even crossbows?
10 months ago
slingshots only!
10 months ago
Shot a .50 bolt a couple times.. immensely enjoyable. Shot a full auto Browning 1919 many times though, kind of sobering when you think of guys who had the balls to run towards that kind of thing.
10 months ago
* smerf has fired a canon. *


Suck on THAT!
10 months ago
Each task should have a shard of glass exposed beneath so every time you punched it you stabbed yourself :/
10 months ago
You seem to not understand what it means when it says to punch out every task, do you?

::FACEPALM::
10 months ago
* DushanMandik wooshes *
10 months ago
Don't try to play off your stupidity, fucking own it. Own it or go back on your anti-psychotic meds, your choice.
10 months ago
Freshie mad
10 months ago
You better have taken your meds then if that's your answer.
10 months ago
The only meds I take are SHUT THE FUCK UP FAGGOT!
10 months ago
::hovers finger over Meltdown Alert button::

This is what you did with Zeke on tiny. I know where this is going to lead.
10 months ago
Actually, if you're about to rage like that again, please do it on Tiny. That was pretty entertaining.
10 months ago
I did that for the common collective good of mucho, you should thank me. And I will sound the alert the next time I decide to do it, hopefully you won't be passed out after 3 beers :/
10 months ago
Do I need to reiterate the part about, "Don't try to play off your stupidity" ??? TinyChat NOW if this is the beginning of a Meltdown. Otherwise don't waste my time.
10 months ago
You could just come to mucho chat...
































































Oh wait...you can't, cause you got banned for your 'stupidity', nevermind ;'(
10 months ago
Oh, you mean like that?
10 months ago
I'm sure yak is gonna just love that
10 months ago
Yak knows.
10 months ago
Since when?
10 months ago
lmao, do you always wear kneepads when yaks around or is this a new development?
10 months ago
Pretty sure Yak would notice the difference between an ID brought in through Mucho and an ID brought in through xmpp. He wouldn't just ban one unless he had a major lapse in concentration. Pretty sure when he banned me from chat last time he banned everything at once. C'mon dush, think it through before you just ramble on.
10 months ago
* DushanMandik grabs the popcorn in anticipation *
10 months ago
yak of course knows...

what yak had is a lapse in caring
10 months ago
Beard: Check
Welding: Check
Engine Rebuild: Check


Damn, still got aways to go...
10 months ago
i reloaded my car battery once...does tha count as repair engine?
well but didnt do the rest of the stuff.
who cares, i have still my awesome + attractive card.
thats all i need nowadays
10 months ago
Facial scar : check ( chin )
knife : check
Glenlivet : check
Rebuild engine : check
Welding : check
Save a kitten from a tree : check
Stop a purse snatcher : check and check
Grow an epic beard : total failure
10 months ago
Gimp arm : check
10 months ago
not so gimpy anymore urkle, thanks to my new job my arm is making quite the recovery
10 months ago
Lol
10 months ago
nobody can ever be 1/10th as manly as Steve McQueen
10 months ago
Steve McQueen was an egotistical control freak
10 months ago
they just aint qualities of being a man
10 months ago
those sound like pretty manly qualities to me
10 months ago
i think Ali MacGraw might disagree with you there
10 months ago
who?
10 months ago
^^^^^^^^ You're kidding...right?
10 months ago
Well that's disappointing. I thought I'd be able to check off at least a few of those. I can half ass weld, and do an oil change like nobody's business...Manly enough I guess.
10 months ago
can you change a wheel though ?
10 months ago
*tire
10 months ago
obviously. I"m not retarded
10 months ago
changing oil is more complicated than changing a tire or even rotating tires, but its not that hard. changing sparks plugs is a little more challenging but still nothing you shouldnt be able to do yourself
10 months ago
*tyre
get it right first time jrob
10 months ago
ive heard of female mechanics refilling the engine through the dipstick tube.....
10 months ago
if you can't change your own oil, replace brake pads, rotate tires, or boost another vehicle, then you're pretty much a woman
10 months ago
boost = jump?
10 months ago
booster battery
10 months ago
AAA FTW
10 months ago
Dw what she meens by boost is when you hotwire somebody elses car and take it for a spin
10 months ago
i thought that was called lifting
10 months ago
twocking
10 months ago
CS's comments make my panties wet
10 months ago
youre just waiting for her to sweep you off your feet, right?
10 months ago
* DushanMandik is waiting to exhale *

10 months ago
im sure you can grow an epic beard if you try hard enough scab
10 months ago
and what she fucking means by boost another vehicle is when that vehicles battery is dead.. you give it a boost.. you fucking faggotass fuckface retard
10 months ago
Boost means steal in the first world.
10 months ago
yeah, boost sounds more like you are stripping the car of its radio and tires. what you silly canadians are referring to is jumping. thats why the cables you use to connect the battery are called jumper cables
10 months ago
I've always called them booster cables
10 months ago
big difference between rebuilding a motor and boosting a car
10 months ago
i can rebuild a lawn mower engine but id be damned if im wasting a saturday on that
10 months ago
i dont think a beard is a sign of manliness
10 months ago
oh it is
10 months ago
how is a beard not manly? surely with all that damn hair you can grow a beard. or are you just a sissy eurofag?
10 months ago
its a sign of having something to hide
10 months ago
thats ridiculous. my beard is a sign of laziness
10 months ago
*sexiness
10 months ago
most of these wouldnt apply here in the UK :(
10 months ago
no wonder we kicked your ass in one war and saved your ass in two more. your sissy little island is full of pansies and all the real men are over here
10 months ago
hey i can still manage at least 6 on this list even without the invalid ones. ive no doubt if they did apply over here i would have conquered them also.
10 months ago
also we had already overcome Hilter before you joined OUR war
10 months ago
*hitler
10 months ago
all you Yanks did was join part way through someone elses war and then claim the victory....
10 months ago
WHOA!!... Somebody els'es war??? I know news travels slowly but surely you must have heard about the attack on Pearl Harbour? It was in most of the papers, If anybody has a right to claim victory in that war it was Russia, they took a far worse beating than any of us, not only by the Germans but by the Red army and the Partisans also, Stalin was so paranoid that other cultures would infect his communist rule that liquidation of villages that had been occupied by the German army was a common practice to ensure the purity of the Soviet way of life.
10 months ago
Did you know that Russian prisoners of war apon returning to Russia were immediatley re-imprisoned by Stalin because he felt that they might currupt the minds of others. It has been said that Stalin actually killed more of his own people than the Germans did during the war.
10 months ago
i fought a swan
10 months ago
*raped
10 months ago
it probably deserved it, they're always such assholes
10 months ago
swans are assholes
10 months ago
i also saved a baby bird from getting squished by an emu once
10 months ago
thats pretty manly
10 months ago
Ray Mears does that sort of lameass stuff with one armed tied behind his back
10 months ago
I peed on a tree the other day...also pretty manly
10 months ago
wo-manly
10 months ago
les stroud digs a tunnel by hand just to go to the store
10 months ago
maybe you should stick to make sandwiches
10 months ago
Les Stroud has to ask Ray Mears the way to said store first
10 months ago
and the swan won
10 months ago
no ..it was a draw
10 months ago
they're strong motherfuckers
10 months ago
and mean
10 months ago
they think they're better than everyone else
10 months ago
they beat up ducks pretty bad
10 months ago
i hate swans
10 months ago
swans are even creatures. Ive seen them murder geese.
10 months ago
evil, rather
10 months ago
bunch of fucking loons
10 months ago
i almost killed a pelican with a canoe oar once
10 months ago
they left out 'becoming a father'
10 months ago
also 'pwning noobs on Mucho'
10 months ago
They left out fuck a ton of women ... not the slightest reference to having sex actually. So it's a crap card.
10 months ago
its American... do you expect anything else
10 months ago
now on the other hand if it was British it would have all the manly stuff like that
10 months ago
like eating 100 eggs?
10 months ago
I'd like to see the Russian version.
10 months ago
holy crap i did/know couple of those things

* xoom goes to finish up the list so he can claim his man card *
10 months ago
dammit xoom
4 weeks ago
what about set your own broken bones (poorly)?
10 months ago
I'd just as soon skip the facial scar.
10 months ago
uh chicks dig scars... fact
10 months ago
yup yup
10 months ago
wheres the coke binge in vegas?
10 months ago
not really that manly... that would be the 'fucking tool' card
along with 'comment 'wheres the coke binge in vegas?' as one of them...
congrats
10 months ago
recover password
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